Howmanheyman

Really?

From what I can see, auld Salty balls is a welcome edition so far. He's even taking the photo stuff in good humour. There's been some good craic so far between him and others although not sure why J69 seems to have a bit of a bee in his bonnet?

No they just hanged him. His arse stayed intact.

There was IIRC five of them and they were all sacked but two got their jobs back on appeal. I wasn't there at the time but the tale is 100% genuine. (Thats actual 100% as opposed to a 'Pardew' 100%)

One of the big regrets of my working life is I've never seen any massive bust ups at work that haven't involved me. Not even a raised hand. It was a year or two before my time, but a couple of blokes got sacked for hanging a 'darky' where I once worked. It was apparently a joke that got out of hand. What?!?!?!??! Alabama style???!?!? Yep! Was a carry on with an Asian who worked there as they were all having a joke about the KKK apparently, the Asian lad as well, but I think drink was involved, well it would've been as almost everyone drank at work then, anyway, it went to far, they put some rope round his neck, kicked away the Broon Ale crate he was standing on and the lad didn't see the funny side anymore.

Some Toady at the club with a job he has to try and justify, probably suggested it and Mike will have approved it. (He might have gave a wry grin as he did so but that would just be speculation on my part.)

One of the big regrets of my working life is I've never seen any massive bust ups at work that haven't involved me. Not even a raised hand. It was a year or two before my time, but a couple of blokes got sacked for hanging a 'darky' where I once worked. It was apparently a joke that got out of hand.

Dwayne Dibley. Damien Duff How'd I not get Duff? Mind, that doesn't say much for Duff's influence does it? And let's not forget Daniel Dichio I thought it was just footballers?

This. F*cking hell man, it's a preview aimed at a small number of people who we considered for UAT testing. Eventually the upgrade will go live so you'll all get to see it! Getting precious because you think you're missing out on something others are getting in this instance is ridiculous Go fuck yourself you prick! Where was my invite?

What can you say? I didn't renew as I was one of the displaced L7'ers and was just going to go as and when but I decided I'd had enough of being taken for a mug so won't even go to the odd game, and the more I see of this regime cheapening a proud football club the more I feel vindicated. It's not one event that they've pulled it's just an accumulation of shit decisions, (most of which were completely unnecessary), from the regime that mean I'll never go back unless I see drastic signs that the owner and his lickspittle mate have started to change for the better. That's pretty shit that they can have this effect on me and some others but at the end of the day I think they can count themselves very fortunate more haven't jacked it in. They'd have been strung up in the past for a quarter of the stunts they've pulled.

Dwayne Dibley. Damien Duff How'd I not get Duff? Mind, that doesn't say much for Duff's influence does it?

The roof is on fire

David Dunn and err....Donadoni count?

No but I'll break that cunts jaw seven sisters the fucking cockroach I'm rubbing my jaw as we speak, wincing at the impending pain I'm about to recieve. Anyway.........How did you know it's not Seven Sisters? Did you check up yourself? Congratulations if you did, you have now found out the way to answer your own questions on transport to football grounds and all because I gave you a silly answer. Please, no need for thanks. No need for thanks ...tell you what wise guy you think your funny? How about I meet you tomorrow for a pint and I'll show you funny ?? You going to take me to a bar that shows clips of Richard Pryor and Gene Wilder getting shown into a prison cell with Grossberger? You need to take a chill pill, son, because on this message board people tend to have the odd piss take and most don't tend to take it to heart. Honestly mate, if you're indeed a genuine poster and not some kid on a wind up with this Noo York/wiseguy/cockroach patter I'd take a step back, put my head down and see how some of the funnier lot on here go about their business. And for the record, although I don't look for bother, the odd time it's happened I've managed to deal with it, jaw intact. But to be fair most of that was in the days before the internet in certain bars in Walker and Spain with the odd away game thrown in but............ASM, apart, I've never crossed swords with an internet warrior, so maybe my jaw will need wired after all. But basically, calm the fuck doon, man!!

I love a good work liar. We had a bloke that worked here - tall chinless posh drip - who claimed he had been both a cage fighter and an Olympic weight lifter. To a very high standard. There isn't a fucking word about him anywhere on the internet, and I've set aside entire afternoons at work googling the prick. He would just announce out of nowhere that "when I was lifting, I could eat 8000 calories a day /crush a raw potato in my hand /bend a 50p piece with just my thumb and forefinger" Those are all direct quotes. This bloke I'm on about. Once he's targeted you and you're trying to keep a straight face you start getting texts from other workmates with a simple "....and err...." in it as they want you to crack and start laughing. The cunts!!!

There's a bloke at work who's a canny enough bloke, but he lies and exaggerates everything he and his relatives have done with a particular habit of tripling the price of anything he or his relatives have ever bought. He always finishes his sentence with an "...And err...." On one break when the subject of London 2012 happened to come up I was told he could've been at the opening ceremony as a VIP as his brother-in-Law was offered some job financing the London Olympics but he knocked it back and in the very same break was told his Brother-in-Law was some kind of Ambassador in New York. I mentioned Ferrero Rocher but he never batted an eyelid.

I had that in mind with my answer, mate. What's ASM up to these days? That reply was a classic ASM threat!

Think we're all being over cautious in here today. It's QPR ffs! 30 years experience on 'the United beat' as a cleft chinned Mackem used to say in the Ronny Gill.

No but I'll break that cunts jaw seven sisters the fucking cockroach I'm rubbing my jaw as we speak, wincing at the impending pain I'm about to recieve. Anyway.........How did you know it's not Seven Sisters? Did you check up yourself? Congratulations if you did, you have now found out the way to answer your own questions on transport to football grounds and all because I gave you a silly answer. Please, no need for thanks.

I don't think we've the side to go four games (five including the LC game), undefeated. So the law of averages and a night time game in front of the cameras at home for the newly promoted club points to a defeat for me. 2-0 to them. A win gives us a hell of a start though and puts some points on the board for later on in the season should we hit a bad patch so I hope Pardew hammers into them the importance of this.

Is that not the station for Middlesbrough? edit: No sorry, thats 'Six fingers'.

Seven Sisters.

It's this £280M pumped into the club that needs addressing. The man bought our club for £134M. That's not £134M that got pumped into the club, thats money that got pumped into the Hall's pockets and by default, Shepherds pockets as well. So can Lamebrainias and a lot of the media get that bit right. NUFC never saw that £134M. Can they also acknowledge the fact he pumped in approx £30M to keep his own business going after he made a complete dogs dinner of the season we were relegated. Thats money that needn't have been pumped in had he and his mate not royally fucked up. No way was NUFC one of the three worst sides as we kicked off the season at Old Trafford with KK in charge. That is money NUFC didn't need if they were still in the PL. Getting back to the purchase price, this is not and should not be owed back to Ashley in whatever form, unless as was discussed a week or so ago, it was a leveraged buy out. If Ashley sells he will get back some, all or more than that. Until then he'll get back none of it. Whatever our debts were when he took over coupled with the Stadium mortgage he paid off early is the true NUFC debt to Ashley in my opinion.

I'm CT and so's my wife.

Right, that's it. I try my best and that's the response I get? I've had it with this place. Craig, cancel my account. Ayatollah blatantly bullying a poster who's contributed jokes for years including anal sex innuendos just for copying his bingo joke? I'm sick of this kind of attitude on here lately. Thats me finished on here too. Craig, do the honours, mate.