Howmanheyman

Daughters dropped off at my folks, out for wining and dining with the Wife as it's our twelfth anniversary tomorrow. Four years engagement prior to that as well. We've had our ups and downs including a split for a few months but I can honestly say I deserve a fucking medal the size of a frying pan and some gold plated ear plugs.

FYP.

I'm not a one for Chinese buffets to be honest, but of the ones I've been in My Shanghai would come in last quite comfortably. Again, I'm not saying it was poor as it was canny enough just not as good as the rest. Only went in the once a few weeks ago during week as me and the Missus had heard good tales about it and we'd missed dinner time due to being held up at hospital so if anything we weren't fussy just hungry. Its ok, nothing else.

Bloke sees a Jamaican putting up a sign, 'Boat For Sale'. The man looks but all he sees is a Caravan and a Jeep. He goes up to the Jamaican and asks, "Where's the Boat? All I can see is a Caravan and a Jeep." "Ya Mon", replies the Jamaican, "and they Boat for Sale....!!"

I heard John Anderson tell a tale of the NUFC players being treated to a plane ride to a Southern game and whilst at Newcastle Airport Jimmy White walked past a young Gazza, Roeder and himself. Gazza nudged the pair of them excitedly and said, "Look! There's Jimmy White!". He then shouted at the snooker player. "Jimmy! Hoo! Jimmy White, man!". As White turned around Gazza then bent over to take an imaginary shot with an imaginary cue and smiled at White while shouting "Onnne ahundreeeed and eiiighhtyy!!!"

A recent survey asked men exactly why they loved receiving blow jobs. 6% liked the thrill of it. 9% loved the feeling. 85% just enjoyed the silence.

A Von Kraut-kunt

Pleased Shola's half German, half Ashington cousin got a run out as well, like.

Keeper wants shot wi' shite for that 3rd, mind. And another volley for ze Fatherland. 4-1.

I wasn't that arsed on My Shanghai, LM. Don't get me wrong, not terrible or owt, just not as good as that one in the Metrocentre which is good or the odd one in Stowell street.

I've seen a few NUFC/Geordie bars on my hols, seen a few OF bars, seen a few Liverpool ones and one Man U but after that I'm struggling to think of any others apart from generic Irish/Scots/Welsh bars. It's strange when you think about it, surely there has to be other clubs having significant club stuff in their bars? P.S. Our 'local' when we've been to Cyprus had a bit of Spurs stuff in but it wasn't much and it's name had nothing to do with Tottenham, just the owner supported them, sound bloke actually.

Will they chuck the beans in for free?

Well that's me off to asda asap.

Went to a 'Shearer's Bar' in Las Americas in 1997 which had a little bit of NUFC stuff about, it was tiny and it was owned/ran by a Spaniard and was empty.

Still, mustn't grumble, JawD. :lol: Unlucky, mate. It's murder when your young'uns do something like this, how can you stay mad at them?

He's a good player, unplayable on his day but over rated by a desperate media. And he's a total cock who gets away with murder by starstruck referees, I'd love it if a Ref had the balls to say something like, 'Listen you fat glakey looking pudding, try to tell me what to do again and you're off.' the first time he tried to referee a match himself.

There you go, mate. Please, no need for thanks.

Away tales mixed in with a 'shit yourself' story. Love it. :lol:

I heard a tale from round wor way a few years ago, it goes a something like this; The Toon had drawn Blackpool in the Littlewoods Cup over two legs, the return leg we won 4-1 with Mirandinha and Gazza amongst the scorers, think Tinnion scored as well? Anyway, 1st leg was midweek at Bloomfield Road (3rd div Blackpool beat us 2-1, TC getting our goal IIRC?) and a transit van from the East end made it's way down to the game, obviously a lot of drink was consumed and as it was Blackpool they stayed in a clurb after the game topping up the alcohol levels. Anyway, about five minutes after setting off they spot someone they know from Walker sprawled over a kerb absolutely comatose. They stop the van, get out and ask him how he got down? Getting no sense out of him they decide he must have got down early for the game and got off his face and missed the bus/van home so they help him in their van and decide to drop him off as they didn't like to leave the kid by himself in Blackpool. Anyway, a few hours later they pull up at his street and after a bit of sleep he's had they manage to wake him up. The kid sees one look at his house and says, "Ahh fucking hell, man!!! Wor lass is ganna fucking gan beserk!!" He'd went down to Blackpool with the Missus and his bairns that week.

Are these pics meant to put us off? Nowt wrong with her, I would 100% and if she wanted to finish me off a bit quicker she could start talking in her French accent. Must be some right Adonis like males on here with a retinue of Playboy Bunnies playing sex games with them every night. Or not.

Beep beep beep beep!!

Fill your boots.

Is Lineker on the Spurs hiring Committee? First Pardew now Moyes getting the interview grilling.