Howmanheyman

Although that post is ripe for a piss take from an old sweat I do remember doing a weeks work experience at Ramage's haulage where me and this other kid from my school basically got conned into handballing tins of fucking tinned pork off wagons all week and then walked three mile home every night in winter. I was nearly in tears every morning of that week, like! What do you do?

[media=] [/media] An oldie but I love the incredulous look on the fat wife when asked what the British currency is, almost like a 'Are yee for fucking real? How'm I supposed to know that??!!' kind of look.

Can anyone tell me where this bridge is? It's doing my head in!!

Was walking down a street talking to an older mate with a 'past' when he interrupts me, "Two seconds Davey......", he then lobs a half full bottle of Broon Ale at a Derby kid across the road which had it of hit him him would've taken his head head off. "........what were saying, Davey, son?" I said "what you doing you fucking nutter, man!" but he just smiled. He's not a wanker I just think he had a 'moment' from his past whilst pissed. Some of the funniest tales I've heard have come from him, half football half nothing to do with football. He once get nicked at Derby years ago and we read his charge sheet, the Policeman stated that he arrested him as he was inciting trouble by giving the V sign to Derby fans, '......the accused when questioned said that "Newcastle had just let a goal in and I was upset and was just putting two fingers up towards the players trying to tell them they better get two goals for the fans"........'

When it's a 'green street/fackin cam on then/bouncing up and down on your toes' I agree. However, that wasn't the gist of my post if your point was aimed at me?

Me and you both, not all 'young'uns' are uninterested though I get the feeling the significance of games like Portsmouth at home just goes over their heads. Not their fault really as they had no idea of what NUFC/football was about then. The words 'proud to be a Geordie' could've been invented for that Derby game. Anyone there knows exactly what I mean, facing relegation and a ref on a mission to help us on our way our support was as good as it gets and wasn't just happy clappy either as there could always be a bit of needle around, Derby fans to the right of us goading us and throwing stuff got it back as seats went flying. Not big and clever but standing up for ourselves. (As an aside, it's an absolute crying shame that grounds like the Baseball Ground and Filbert Street aren't around anymore as I loved away days at places like that.)

Andrew once nicked his finger whilst sharpening his pencil after a long homework session. He thought he was going to lose his thumb to infection but luckily his Mam managed to clean it with some dettol which she kept under the sink. It was a close run thing for 5 mins. There but for the grace of God etc.

Once offered some Germans on at a French service station and lived to tell the tale. I walked round the corner and watched them get on their bus with the words 'Deutschland Tai-kwando Barcelona '92' on it. I decided to let them off luckily for them.

Woke up after a mammoth session 4 floors up on the sloping roof of my ex workplace. I've no idea how I never fell off when asleep.

Stevie 'McFaul' pictured yesterday pondering the evil 'Psycho' Pearce's next sinister move.

I was round my folks the other day and came across my favourite album from a few years ago.

ASH!!!!! AHAAAAA!!!! HE SAVED EVERYONE OF US!!!!! Sportsdirect get a fucking canny ride from NUFC and all but the blind can see it.

Did he take a ball on his chest then volley it just past your head before running his fingers through his hair before carrying on with his shopping?

Me and you both, mate. Nowt against the lad, he's obviously been a good professional and his dead ball kicks have been quality but the media in this country have made far more of him than just his talent deserves. If Pearce thinks he's not up the job anymore and is taking this GB seriously then he's done the right thing not picking him, I haven't seen him play for a couple of years, I've no idea how he is these days. I've no interest whatsoever in the Olympics so couldn't give a fuck, but should a person get picked to compete because he played a part in getting the Olympics here regardless if he's good or fit enough?

That's under the bridge at Walkergate by the Metro station, it's a deep dip and I knew that would happen there. It happened a year or two ago and an old couple had to be rescued as they were in real danger of drowning, IIRC some lads came out the nearby Railway Pub and waded in to get them out safely.

Some nutz type patter amongst PL and myself there. Hope you enjoyed the to and thro folks.

'true dat'? You turning scouse on my ass, Robert?

Lineker was lethal everywhere he went bar Japan when he was finished. Mark 'I'd love to spark him' Hughes did fuck all in Barcelona, goal machine Rush was a fish out of water at Juventus but Lineker learned the language at the Nou Camp and scored from day one and was a genuinely World class striker to be fair to him.

There'll be a few disappointed Japanese tourists in London now, mind.

Bravo!

On the BBC now, Klinsman, Vialli, Shearer and Lineker. How much would these strikers be worth?

Aye you look fuck all like him to be fair....... ....... However you and Kane Dingle........ "That breakfast was fookin' shite, love"