Howmanheyman

If only all Business deals could be like this. Buyer: "Hi, I'm interested in buying your furniture Business and would maybe like to start negotiations with you about a price?" Seller: "Sure, but can you buy a settee from my shop for the next 5 years so I know you're not taking the piss? Cheers." "You cannot be serious!"

Yes. Mustaffa Shi-ite

The Strawberry Pub Burger Mob (Boldon Division) The Trent House Posse Durham Mags Teetotal Bender Squad Londonderry Teenage Mags Dirtbag Asssociation That's off the top of my head, I'm sure they're more out there?

'Stewed Bugs and onion' was my Mothers response.

I rang babestation the other night: a woman answers and says "hi sexy what can I do for you?" I said "fucking hide, my wifes coming and I've lost the remote!"

As for CT, I also say 'oh my goshk', but only when I'm doing a Popeye impression for my kids.

There's an old saying round here, 'red sky at night, shepherd's house on fire.' As for 'gets on me tits', that's very common, don't know why Brock thinks its unusual.

Any chance of some cheap/free flights? If you can swing 4 freebie flight I'll buy you a couple of pints and show you round the bars of the famous Shields Road area. I Cannot say fairer than that.

Thanks to '50 Shades of Grey', my wife's Kindle now smells like 50 tins of tuna.

Four 12.5 hour shifts coming up starting tomorrow at half six in the morning through to tuesday at seven in the night. Zippity-fucking-doo-dah!

Cracking ale that, CT. Definitely one to just have on a night where you're in the house and not set on drinking much.

I had this bought for me and you can see half of KK's sig on the front. However......£2.50 in 1984? The greedy fucker! (I was paying £3 to get in the Gallowgate a few years after this!!)

If tennis players were footballers they'd play for Arsenal. Self centred whinging twats completely up their own arses.

No Facebook, no twitter, no problem. Just need to get off toontastic and I'm sorted.

It's shite. Their new home one is the best they've had for years though.

Happy birthday Annie! Happy birthday Fishy.

Happy 5th July!

I think what grates is the American news stuff getting a disproportionate amount of coverage over here. Plus a little bit of perspective of global history and the part played by other countries in that history. That and the fucking basin brow haircuts they give their spoiled brats, obviously.

I'm with you and Captain Kirk on this one, I'd have shagged the hairs on a barbers shop floor whether the delectable lady quivering like a dying toad, was English, Thai, black or from the inner crust of Saturn. Anne Widdecomme would be a step too far though.

Well good for you. I'll be honest with you, 16 years of mainly twelve hour shifts, night and day have taken it's toll and I'd love to do something different. If you like what you do it really must be half the battle.

They're larger than life most Yanks I've met, some canny people to be honest, but the lack of respect they showed to some Mexicans got my back up at the time. (I was on holiday). Plus they would talk to anybody so friendly are they, but when they sussed out you weren't American about half backed off as they were out their comfort zone. In my opinion of course. One bloke proudly told me he Irish then half an hour later asked me to draw a rough map of where Ireland was.

Although that post is ripe for a piss take from an old sweat I do remember doing a weeks work experience at Ramage's haulage where me and this other kid from my school basically got conned into handballing tins of fucking tinned pork off wagons all week and then walked three mile home every night in winter. I was nearly in tears every morning of that week, like! What do you do?

[media=] [/media] An oldie but I love the incredulous look on the fat wife when asked what the British currency is, almost like a 'Are yee for fucking real? How'm I supposed to know that??!!' kind of look.

Can anyone tell me where this bridge is? It's doing my head in!!

Was walking down a street talking to an older mate with a 'past' when he interrupts me, "Two seconds Davey......", he then lobs a half full bottle of Broon Ale at a Derby kid across the road which had it of hit him him would've taken his head head off. "........what were saying, Davey, son?" I said "what you doing you fucking nutter, man!" but he just smiled. He's not a wanker I just think he had a 'moment' from his past whilst pissed. Some of the funniest tales I've heard have come from him, half football half nothing to do with football. He once get nicked at Derby years ago and we read his charge sheet, the Policeman stated that he arrested him as he was inciting trouble by giving the V sign to Derby fans, '......the accused when questioned said that "Newcastle had just let a goal in and I was upset and was just putting two fingers up towards the players trying to tell them they better get two goals for the fans"........'