Howmanheyman

Apology accepted.

No Limits with Jenny Powell and a young Tony Cottee lookalike, Network 7, (used to like the 'computer' interviews they did on there), The Chart show (when it was first on Ch4), all decent alternatives to TOTP. Last time I looked at the advert channels that are supposed to be music channels, they don't seem to be as clever/original as some of the programmes mentioned and MTV seems to be just a perma-documentary on Yank teenagers getting on with 'life'.

Reported myself.

Well they can't put, 'Born in the rainy season when there was a full moon' on their passports, can they?

Had a mate that dressed a bit like Bros, complete with the Grosch bottle top on his shoes. He even went to one of their concerts at Whitley Bay ice rink. Not long afterwards a few of us were standing in the corner at the match when I said loudly for everyone to hear, "Divvent knaa how the fuck you could've watched a Bros concert, D*****." The poor lad got so much stick from the older pissed blokes that I actually felt slightly guilty afterwards. We'd have been about 16 I think.

"Once upon a time he was falling in love, But now he's only falling apart.... J69, a total eclipse of the brain." Thank you and goodnight.

Quite how the sculptor has turned Stokoe into George Mellie(?) the jazz singer only he will know.

Only seen it once when I was a kid. All black scrums were fucking kittens compared to skint bairns trying to get some money for a two bob lucky dip.

Well, well past it's sell by date. Losing Gates didn't help them but even with him around it was getting stale. The same people phoning up don't help and getting Horswill on board was like inviting a vampire on a 18th century ship bound from London to Tahiti. He drained what life was left in it. If anybody remembers the show when it was just Supermac, Slaven and the Boro commentator Brownlee then you might well think they did well to last as long as they did. Supermac was browbeaten constantly by the Boro idiots and as people say, their knowledge at times was laughable considering their job. Supermac thought that Ravenelli was a far better signing than Shearer and that Boro would finish far stronger than us. We finished 2nd they got relegated.

Anaesthetic nurse? I puked over one of your colleagues when I was a kid, had a similar break to my daughter but didn't keep it down. (Fnarr, fnarr.)

Definitely. I dived in like a kid at a wedding 'scramble'.

Can we just clarify that it's the weather you're referring to Catmag?

Unfortunately Fritz's Karl Ziess binoculours, although the best around, could still not make out if the US wartime civilian motorists were eating Bagels and donuts whilst helping him so we can only use our imagination.

Even then the car was King, apparently.

I've wore a singed shirt if it helps. (iron was too hot.)

Two anedotes I've rehashed from memory about Americans from an old British soldier and a U-Boat crewman. Tommy: "When the Germans shot you ducked. When we shot, the Germans ducked. When the Yanks shot everyone ducked." Fritz: "We would sail off the coastline near New York down the Eastern seaboard, the American civilians would all drive out in their cars and face their headlights out to sea so they could try and spot U-Boats and also get a good view of any explosions going on off the coast. We would wait until enough cars turned their lights on and would then surface and torpedo all the ships their headlights silhouetted. We called this our Golden period when the US first entered the war as up to that point the British and Canadians had been starting to get on top of the Wolf Packs in the middle of the Atlantic and were taking a heavy toll on our boats."

Love these Gemmill, (pictured going to work),........ ........versus CT, (pictured outside Boldon Asda), thread catfights.

Think it's off Football Focus interviewing him leading up to his last ever game v Brighton, mate. I've no idea where the planes fly from, I suppose they could fly from anywhere from a UK base if they're just flying past a few times?

Thought you were a skinny wretch from that old photo of yours. (CT, there's your cue, mate, no need for thanks!)

Not NUFC but this has to be one of the best kits there's been; It's basic but very silky, very chic and very Italian by Diadora from 1986-1990, (four years no change!!). Todays effort by Puma is like having a spag Bol in Gateshead town centre, it's just not the same thing.

The airport metal detector should be fine. I specifically remember asking the Surgeon to make the wires in a non-gunshape pattern. It was either that or ensure that ToonPack's running the metal detecting screen.

Mans gotta do what a mans gotta do. She was ok and settled by then. She fell off some monkeybars in that park near the Powder Monkey in Wallsend, I just turned to play a bit of passy with her younger sister, (her sis loves football) and she walks over saying she's hurt her arm and she thinks its bad, I'm always pretty calm when they hurt themselves and I think its rubbed off on them, their Mother who is normally the calm one turns into a wreck if anyone, (including herself) gets hurt. Anyway, I didn't need to be Dr Kildare to see it was broke. They'll take the cast off in ten days so we'll be ok for our hol in 4 weeks. A week after we come back from Mexico they'll put her under again and take the rod out so she's pleased as she loves swimming on holiday.

As I was popping back home the other day I saw what I think was a Catalina seaplane fly pretty low over the Wallsend Golf Course and there wasn't a Mackem in sight. Beat that CT!

The snapped bone actually punctured her skin, can't believe how calm she was about it. Some smart nurses too so you have to draw some consolation.

I'm back in the house and knackered. 'Slept' in a chair last night in hospital by my girls bed, some poor bairn across the way was screaming last night in pain, it was heartbreaking hearing it, glad we're home. Took tomorrow off and I'm going to sleep like a log tonight. Bairn has a metal rod in her arm and a cast on and seems ok now.