Howmanheyman

Goodnight. I'm pissed as a cunt with tequila.

Bairns and missus were having a siesta and I got bored. Going out for last night now though. (sniffs /sobs).

I'm a bit disappointed they couldn't find a place for Miss Ellie or Howard Keel the unfeeling bastards!

which union if I may ask, Gene?

Dorty bastards, but.... :lol:

I'm going out for a lovely family meal in about half an hour but if you want I'll fly back to Newcastle and drop off my girls in a kids home instead?

Aye, only the other week I had Charles Bronson to my right and Aristotle to my left. What a grueling decision on who to say 'alreet' to first!

That'll be one of the reasons the atmosphere's shit, then.

Russian 19th century novels eh? That's where I went wrong! I preferred poetry; "Shakespeare came here to sit and think, I came here to shit and stink" Hytech Packaging LTD toilet door 1992

Fly lands on a turd to find another fly at the other end of it. "Sorry, mate", it says, "This stools taken."

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

I knocked on my neighbours door for a tin of dark blue paint he said he had in his garage and I needed for my garden as I wanted the trim of a small gate. His lass answered looking terrible, red rimmed eyes and shattered. "Geoff died yesterday." she said. I couldn't believe it! She said he just collapsed and had a massive heart attack. I didn't know what to say but managed to mumble something like, "did he say any last words?" She cried a bit then shook her head. I was at a loss of words before pulling myself together and asking her, "He never mentioned anything about a tin of dark blue paint, then?"

Aye, but what the fuck is French TV? MT seemed quite flustered by not knowing.

FRENCH TV! TELEVISION..... .....LIVE..... .....FROM FRANCE!

What would you know about sell outs other than it never happens in Wearside?

David Craig has the look of a man trying to force a particularly solid and sturdy stool past his throbbing Johnny Giles.

Latest news, Gazza spotted in Essex wearing a safari hat holding a big tin of whiskas.

His sentiments are the same, he gets the same responses at other times when he sticks up for his club/city.

Despite the easy digs at Stevie's rhetoric, and he can over egg it, can a supporter of this club who knows the instead and outs of not just NUFC but others, not defend our club/support without the usual 'roll eyes' smilies and all the supafan cracks? If someone slurs the club then people who can call bullshit with a knowledge of the club surely shouldn't be derided by his own fellow supporters for putting said wum in his place. Are people embarrassed about our club, our support or maybe embarrassed that they haven't a fucking clue about our clubs history and would rather make light of Stevie's defence?

It's already been explained to you so I won't go over it again. Worst fans in the country, eh? Aye righto. Even worse than the Boro? Okey dokey. Are you the kid pictured at the beach a while ago in a red and off white sunderland shirt with tracksuit bottoms on? Think you had a quiff and some canny spots?

I'm struggling to think of a more pathetic and desperate poster than this mackem who makes other mackem's seem decent. Crawls out the woodwork once in a blue moon, always gets ridiculed then slithers away with Geordie laughter ringing in his ears. It must fucking kill him any time he hears our name mentioned in the media, sorry, magdia.

Listening to a Spanish commentator shout 'Goooooooaaaaaallllll!!!!!!!!!" for ages after Demba scored was fucking great out here, when he did the same for Defoe I was calling him all the greasy bastards under the sun. In summary, shit first half where we got lucky, improvement in the second but it comes down to sheer talent to get those two goals and luckily we have it.

fraid so otherwise it just isn't funny. Ant's thinking of asking Tampax to sponsor the 'funny picture' thread as it seems to be going through a bad period atm.

"HappyFace - Rain Man, definitely £35m spent definitely 35"