smoggeordie

IN an echo of Alan Hansen’s infamous phrase, Joe Kinnear has warned Newcastle United “you can’t fight relegation with kids” but the search for an experienced right-back will start afresh this morning after the Magpies were warned off Lucas Neill. And it will be Tuesday evening at the earliest before winger Peter Løvenkrands and the loan signings Kinnear has targeted join after the Irishman demanded to see them in a behind-closed-doors game. Senegal right-back Habib Beye has been written off for the rest of the campaign with a knee injury picked up against Wigan Athletic on Boxing Day. United’s injury situation is now so bad, training was cancelled yesterday to avoid any more. In a sign of how quickly the situation can change in the transfer window, Kinnear spoke in yesterday afternoon’s Press conference about his wish to land defender Neill on loan, only for West Ham United to deliver an angry reproach before the newspapers had gone to print. The London club have complained about United contacting the player, who is out of contract at the end of the season, about a temporary move. In 1995 Hansen memorably remarked: “You can’t win anything with kids,” a mantra Kinnear believes applies equally to fighting relegation, which is why a right-back has shot to the top of his list of priorities. “We have a decent right-back who is virtually injured until the end of the season and a young kid (David Edgar) who is not anywhere near as good as the one we are losing. If we get any more injuries with our defenders we would be in serious trouble. You can’t fight relegation with kids, that’s for sure. If I lost a centre-half now I wouldn’t know which way to turn.” The Hammers took umbrage when he mentioned 30-year-old Neill as a possible replacement. A statement from Upton Park read: “West Ham United would like to make it clear that Lucas Neill is a contracted West Ham United player and that we have received no approach from any club for his services, including Newcastle United. “We are astonished today that a Premier League manager has claimed contact with one of our contracted players.” Neill is contracted but, as he is in the last six months of his deal, he is free to talk to other clubs with or without West Ham’s knowledge – but only about a deal for next season. Twenty-eight-year-old Danish international Løvenkrands, who has been training with Newcastle this week, will play in a friendly next week, along with the two players Kinnear is hoping to sign on loan. “We will have them (the potential loan signings) behind closed doors in a training game on Tuesday to see if they come up to scratch because we haven’t actually seen them play,” he revealed. “One of them had a long-term injury and I want to see how his fitness is. “Peter will take part in the game too and we will decide on him after that.” If there is a risk blooding youngsters in a relegation battle, the same can be said for players without Premier League experience. But having bid £5m for Rennes’ Cameroon international Stéphane Mbia, United’s manager has no such concerns about a midfielder he likened to Patrick Vieira. “I would hang my hat on him,” he said. “Mbia has played (15) games for Cameroon, Rennes are up near the top (of Ligue 1), he is a great player, the nearest thing I’ve seen to Patrick Vieira. He would be a big plus for us.” United scouted the 22-year-old before Kinnear arrived. The same applies to St Etienne striker Bafetimbi Gomis, but he denied any interest, saying: “Right name, wrong club.” VfB Stuttgart forward Mario Gómez is another previously watched by Dennis Wise’s team. Since when has Gomis been the same name as Gomez?? Unless there is another Bafetimbi Gomis out there.

I wonder if this is the "wow" signing: Newcastle United have signed the New Gazza – Paul Gascoigne’s seven-year-old nephew Cameron Gascoigne was snapped up by the Premier League giants after scoring 22 goals in a 30-minute match. The youngster was made to swap sides at half-time to balance out the score. Cameron idolises Paul, 41, and spends hours every night copying his ball skills on an artificial pitch in his back garden. Now the youngster’s mum Lindsay, 35, is praying her famous brother emerges from rehab to mastermind Cameron’s career. And she said she’s desperate to protect him from WAGs like Paul’s ex-wife Sheryl, 44. She said: “Paul is an inspiration to Cameron on the pitch – and I’m just hoping he will learn from his mistakes off it. “He absolutely adores his uncle and is so proud to wear the name Gascoigne on the back of his shirt. “My brother needs to get well for himself because he is a good man and deserves some happiness. “But he’s also really keen to help Cameron become the very best player he can.” Lindsay said when Paul comes out of rehab he plans to take Cameron along to Newcastle’s academy, where he has won a place. “It will give him something really positive to focus on,” she added. “Maybe one day we’ll see the name ‘Gascoigne’ on the back of an England shirt once again.’’ Cameron shot to stardom when he fouled his uncle as they warmed up before Gazza played for Newcastle United veterans at St James’ Park two years ago. He only started playing for Rutherford Swifts near his home in Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, this season, but has astounded football chiefs. After netting a hat-trick on his debut his 22-goal haul came in a five-a-side match. His goalscoring exploits attracted the attention of Newcastle United’s scouts. We told yesterday how the Gascoigne family believe Sheryl tricked Gazza into taking part in a TV documentary to pocket a fee. Lindsay told the Daily Star: “My mum is absolutely furious. I can’t remember her ever being so angry.” Paul – who is winning his battle against alcoholism and depression in rehab – plans to sue his ex.

Neill would be a good signing

Nick Barmby's been around for about a gazillion years.

I wonder if he has any experience?

No, purely because of the fact I have a uni exam tomorrow morning, otherwise I would be.

Brian?

Hate to be pedantic, but it's 'hanged', not 'hung'. [/Pet Hate]

Mido said: “Gareth Southgate told me in the afternoon about the negotiations between the two clubs and informed me of these negotiations, something which I did not know before.” “I’m very angry no one informed me of the ongoing talks before today, and I made sure manager Gareth Southgate knows how I feel.” The Egyptian international striker Mido added: “Newcastle United made an offer to Boro for me, and I understand that they are very excited to see me in the squad,” “I was informed that the negotiations between the two clubs are going on for about a week and I did not know nothing about it.”

I heard it'd be 2-4 weeks if he had the operation. Hardly long term like. I reckon he'll be back for the derby.

Also, who "notices" Tony Hibbert? I'd say 80% of people on here would struggle to pick him out in a line up

Decent player, would take him here.

I always thought Mendes was your joe average premiership midfielder. Better than all of ours then, bar Barton and possibly Guthrie.

Fair do's I got penalised last night at 5 a side, had the ball in my hands, their lad took a swipe so I jumped out the way and went down. They got a free kick for my "diving". Fucking bong eyed ref.

...can a goalkeeper, inside his box, with the ball safely in his gloves, have a free kick awarded against him for diving?

He's not fucking dead man.

I was sat in the seats beside Kieth, it all seemed a bit uncalled for from the guy who confronted him. The stewards were clueless. They turned away from the confrontation at one point to tell me to not stand on the stairs

Setanta match report : Newcastle were denied a blatant penalty by referee Chris Foy as they drew 0-0 in a heated Cup clash with Hull. Michael Owen was clattered by Matt Duke inside the box in the second half, but Foy waved away the protests in a game that produced six bookings and many more fouls. The bad news for these two sides, and for Craig Fagan in particular (who took a beating from Newcastle all afternoon), is that they will have to do it all over again. Joe Kinnear kept his word by fielding a strong side at The KC, with Sebastien Bassong back from suspension to bolster a defence that would have embarrassed an under-11s team against Liverpool. Crucially, Shay Given started in goal despite revelations that he might leave, and it was the shot-stopping sensation who was forced into the game’s first big save. Geovanni, in typical fashion, picked up the ball 35 yards from goal – advanced to within 25 yards and then unleashed a daisy-cutter that Given did well to parry. Newcastle have a pretty talented number 10 themselves in Michael Owen, and you would have put money on him to open the scoring moments later. After Nicky Butt had opened up the defence with a ghastly slice that found Danny Guthrie, the ball was squared for Owen – who diverted wide with his left foot. That was a good chance. His next one was an excellent one. Spinning majestically, Owen showed the pace is still there as he won a three-horse race to the loose ball against Paul McShane and keeper Duke. The goal was gaping, Owen executed the chip...the ball fell wide. The England man’s strike partner Andy Carroll felt it was time to have his say. Again McShane failed to cover himself in glory, Carroll powered through on goal but Duke intervened with a wonderful one-handed save. A sub-plot to all of this was the reunion of Fagan and Danny Guthrie, their first collision since Guthrie broke Fagan’s leg. On 26 minutes Fagan sought retribution, raking his studs down Guthrie’s ankle in blatantly pre-meditated manner. Guthrie survived the attack, but Charles N’Zogbia was less defiant, limping off to be replaced by Jonas Gutierrez after landing awkwardly on an ankle. As half time approached Newcastle had been the better team, yet it was Hull who came closest to scoring five minutes before the break – Daniel Cousin volleying Fagan’s left-wing cross against an upright. Back to the Fagan story and the wind-up merchant was dishing it out, so Nicky Butt reminded him who’s boss – nailing him with a hefty challenge that earned a booking. Butt loved it. An even bigger challenge was to come five minutes after the break – but this time it was a goal-saver. Geovanni – at the hub of all Hull’s good work – cut the ball back, Boateng looked odds-on to score, but Guthrie was there was a life-saver for Newcastle. A minute later, The Magpies were denied the most blatant of penalties. Ref Chris Foy, who had booked everything in sight all afternoon, suddenly went all lenient at the vital moment. Duke was massively at fault, spooning a clearance straight up in the air, Owen got to the loose ball first and Duke floored him. Penalty? Not in Mr Foy’s eyes. While Duke was making a clown of himself, Given was a rock at the other end. Cousin, swivelling on another Geovanni cross, smashed low – but Given was already lying down waiting for it. Geovanni was next to try his luck, Given repelled the ball into the air but surely Paul “Prolific” McShane would volley home from five yards? No. A brilliantly poor finish from the defender who may not trouble Hull fans for much longer as Sunderland consider recalling him. The Tigers were building up a head of steam, Michael Turner used his head to send the ball goalwards, but there was Damian Duff on the line to somehow keep the ball out via the post and bar as it fell into Given’s grateful arms. It looked like Hull were about to crack the nut as Marlon King entered the pitch, but suddenly Jonas Gutierrez came to the fore at the crucial time for Newcastle – raiding down the left with great dynamism. If only Andy Carroll could finish.

Are we ignoring tonight and Monday's games?

I'd go with Harper Taylor colo bassong jose enrique Jonas Guthrie geremi cnz Carroll owen Then hopefully have martins back by west ham, because, let's face it, we're not signing anyone.

Absolutely gutted at this news. There's only one Shay Given.

I'd love it if we were second best

Chippenham Town striker David Pratt is thought to have set a new world record after being sent off only three seconds into his side's loss at Bashley. Pratt, 21, lunged at Bashley midfielder Chris Knowles straight from the kick-off and received his marching orders from referee Justin Amey. Chippenham secretary George McCaffrey admitted: "You normally won't meet a milder man, but David lost it." Bashley went on to win the Southern Premier Division match 2-1. Bashley boss Steve Riley said: "The lad's gone in with his studs showing and went straight through my player. It was a potential leg-breaker. The ref had no choice." Knowles was able to continue playing after the tackle. Bologna's Giuseppe Lorenzo held the previous record for the quickest red card, at 10 seconds.

Good: Did well in my finals, so I decided to stay on and do a Master's degree Had some great times following the toon (bar the results) Got a new lass who i'm incredibly happy with Met some great new mates Bad: The whole Keegan debacle a lot of my mates left Newcastle after graduating Pretty dull year really, but i'm more thn happy with it

so a bunch of man u youngsters? Rossi turned out ok [/Knowledge is da bomb]