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That’s Gordon definitely staying then

What they going to do? Make him buy the first round at his leaving do?

I’ve had a double shit sandwich on the way down to jolly old London. Stopped at Cambridge services for my break, checked my “social media” and some fucker has locked my access on “safe search” ! Is today some deadline for the most cuntish of Tory policies meaning we’re not allowed to watch ladies in the nip? Cunts. That was followed by a minor pissaster on the M11- usually have the bladder emptying under control for when I’m parked, but, after the shock of no filthy slappers, my body clearly went in to fight or flight… …or piss. No way I was pulling on to the hard shoulder, as it’d take forever to get back on, so out came the bottle. Trouble is, my tackle only fits in the bottle when in a state of rest, the urgency of the piss situation had brought on a piss-boner, so I’ve had to just place the tip of the ole meatus in the neck of the bottle and try to let loose gently. All this , one-handed, the left hand, whilst bombing down the M11 in rush hour. I’m just about drained, and about to give myself a “well done son!”, when I hit a fucking pothole the size of Burradon. Bottle slips, whanger springs up, momentary jet of piss up my t-shirt before my brain gets the “FUCKING NIP IT!” message through to the nipsy muscles… … FOR FUCKS SAKE! Changed my t-shirt and all ship-shape now, but fucking hell man Someone is going to pay for this, and I hope she’s brunette, busty, Eastern European, and not missed for a while…

“ Sofatester” ??????? Is he from Boldon, perchance?

Them r them and we r us.

A fine example of poor situational awareness. If the big lad on the left’s knees decide to call it a day, he’ll take out the entire clan as he rolls downhill. Like a fleshy, sweaty, opening to Raiders of the Lost Ark, with the added tang of unwiped arse.

sofatester handing out some valuable advice to his fellow mackems about how they shouldn't pay any attention to us vile bastards anymore. the secret is just not to be bothered by anything that ever happens to us apparently. this despite him spending huge swathes of his tragic life contributing multiple times on every thread about nufc. the stupid fucking cunt.

Can someone please explain to fucking THUMB HEED what a prediction is.

MF pissing all over himself btw. What really happened here is he stood up to wipe his bum like the classic mong that he is, and accidentally produced an extra spurt of piss. And then made up a story about pissing while he was driving and how his knob's too big to fit in a bottle.

What's ironic is how insecure and fragile these so called alpha male hard men are. Utterly pathetic. But one thing that I would say is that you just know despite his money Musk is a deeply unhappy person and will die a deeply unhappy person. I think that applies to Trump too. Have you ever seen that cunt laugh or even smile?

Sounds like a dodgy toy shop on Shields Road.

So I put my notice into the MD this morning at 07:30. My line 'manager' was phoned up when I cam downstairs and has been up there since Everyone keeps asking where he is. I haven't told anyone I've put my notice in. They're all concerned why he's up there I'm sat laughing inside.

Done I almost cried lol. Gaffer looked absolutely stunned. Shows how far their heads are in the sand.

"....and then 'ee said 'project', ah said I'll be finished before project, lad!"

Are the Smoggies represented by the background?

This is the reality. So, there are three funding alternatives. 1) We increase taxes. But we are already taxed at record levels and the NI tax on employers probably will cause unemployment and reduced growth. Btw, don't forget re: education that Labour did put VAT on private schools which was a tax on the wealthy. 2) We increase austerity by cutting back public services. Made doubly hard now with the need to increase defence. 3) We break the fiscal rules and risk the wrath of the markets. None of these sound like good options to me but I am honest enough to accept I don't know the implications of option 3 too much. Reeves has absolutely ruled it out though so I am guessing it is bad. For the record, I think the difference between this Labour government and a tory one is I don't think Labour are malevolent and doing this for ideological reasons. They're doing it because they believe it is necessary. Plenty other countries are in the same boat. Whether there is another option I don't know, but it feels like we need to change capitalism to me.

It could serve as a hands across the world situation tbh

There's nothing to be gained from reading and reacting to everything Trump says like. I got back into the habit of making the Guardian front page one of my regular visits, and it's just a direct line to increased anxiety, so I've stopped again.

Let us k ow the projects you're currently working on, so they know where to dig.

he's that not bothered about us there's a reasonable chance his heart'll explode one day when he's hammering on his keyboard.

Yeah he doesn't sound bothered at all. He's got me convinced.

Fuck's sake nearly pissed myself reading that

Zlatan’s piled the beef on since he moved to Pennywell, mind.

How many different fanzines/podcasts etc and how many different people will this lad end up doing stuff with by the time he calls it a day? (Of course I didn't watch it).

Congrats, like I said before, they wouldn't think twice if roles reversed (and they'd do it on a Friday).

How aren’t you single?

Yesterday my dad conspired to have a fall and smash his remaining good hip, so I'm in town all week to babysit my mother while the RVI works its magic. The one and only upside is I might be able to wangle an hour's time off to mosey on past Blue House Roundabout (not a euphemism... yet) and relive those 1993 glory days

Bless you

Rejoin the single market. Tax wealth. Tax the profiteering power companies Tax corporations properly I was told to wait and see what Starmer was like in power once elected. I was told he might surprise me. Well he's fucking done that all right

Christ, this reads like a greatest hits of my own posts from before the election... I think I have some sympathy with them in a way - we voted to be poorer, this is what being poorer looks like. There's a whole lot of Brexity chickens coming home to roost here. Someone needed to take the fantasy around Brexit and convert it into the reality, that's what Labour are doing. They can't go after the rich because it would be anti-growth, so they have to go for "efficiencies". On the other hand, New Labour backing austerity was the reason Corbyn won all those years ago, and it seems that the party remains determined to follow those principles even now in order to 'prove' that they're reliable with the economy and tough on the enemy the middle classes. The thing that boggles my mind somewhat is that they are doing all of this in favour of winning over... who? This is all too tribal now for any of this policy stuff to matter, they get painted as commies either way. They'd be far better off IMO improving people's lives with policies that all of them, and we, believe in - not this soft right bullshit that does nothing effectual anyway. Not being able to back our own policies and views when we have political power really just tells the other side that they've won. That we've surrendered the argument wholesale. And when the next election comes along, they'll still expect you and I to vote for them to keep the greater evil at bay, despite standing for almost nothing we believe in, putting our kids in permanent debt to develop an education, squeezing our wages, backing corporations replacing us with AI, and reneging on our climate change priorities. They do not deserve our vote, and didn't last time out either IMO. But admitting that and acting on it means losing to something worse.

Already had some worried conversations with the missus about the potential risks of these cuts to the disabled via pip and UC. We've finally got in a position where I can do a PT job but if they fuck us up that's the end of that. It's really, really not what this party was funded for by the working man and woman via union subs. Fucking disgraceful.

Such a cunt - which is ironic.

“ How’s the ba… nnnnnnnnnnnnggggggghhhhaaaah!… bacon, did y’say?”

Another triumph from you. We’re going to need a separate thread for a retrospective of your finest Photoshop works soon.

Coming soon to a movie theatre near you... An MLF production..... Inspired by real life events......

Normally officials posting that kind of stuff on a commercial chat app would be serious and lead to all sorts of of legal reactions. But nowadays the only thing coming out of will probably be the journalist getting arrested and put on a plane to El Salvador.

Got this in my YT feed so will stick it here. It's funny if you haven't seen it.

Ecky thump to the back of the head, and thrown in to the cement mixer.

Just wait for some pissed up Septic to drive in to it!

Submitting a 10,000 dissertation on Middle Eastern human rights practices has betrayed him tbh.

Pure Bruce, this.... What a wanker.