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"Dear recruiter I wrote you, but you still ain’t callin’ I left my mobile, my pager and my home phone at the bottom I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not’ve got ’em There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin’ Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot ’em But anyways, fuck it, what’s been up, man? How’s your daughter? I read you'd seen my twitter feed and thought you'd not bother..."

Steve Bruce was manning the phones at 10.30pm on deadline day trying to get a loan deal across the line for Hamza Choudhry. That's the sort of work ethic we need. Time to roll your sleeves up, Paul.

Moyes doesn’t do spreadsheets man. Old school.

Erm....

No one in the football media is willing to admit that they consider Arsenal to be more entitled to a player of Isak’s quality than Newcastle are. They can say they’re just repeating what Arsenal fans are saying with a degree of justification but they know deep down it’s about that word; “entitled” … Arsenal are entitled to have world class footballers in a way Newcastle aren’t . And if Newcastle just luck upon someone of that quality they must immediately be sold to the likes of Arsenal. That’s just the world they live in and it’s killing them all, media and fans alike, that it’s not the case this time round.

"Hi guys, today if we look through the square window we have Gary Neville discussing what Rubin Amorim's options are and what impact has Sir Jim Ratcliffe had on getting 'United' back where they belong. In the round window we have Jamie Carragher taking a deep dive into what an amazing job Arne Slot has done in carrying on the fantastic legacy of the cuddly Jürgen Klopp. In the rectangle window we have Paul Merson rambling incoherently about Alexander Isak going to the Arsenal and what a t'riffic move that would be for everyone involved but probably not noocarsull who 'eed then worry abaht if he's honest with ya. Anyone still here who supports Newcastle, guys, there's no agenda here at sky, we love all the teams and report on them all equally and fairly. If you go on our YouTube channel through the triangle window there's a YouTube podcaster asking Dan Burn and Sean Longstaff a few jokey questions for ten minutes because that's all you're good for and we haven't got time to put it on our actual sports channels. Love you, guys!"

I honestly hear the Hovis music when you post sometimes.

Ah the good old Toontastic 9 a.m. hiatus, all the lads checking their work emails then grabbing a brew ready for the working day to really kick-off and posting to pick up around 9:30-10.00.

Similar experience for me. Only I stayed in, ended up watching Final Score and was convinced Ray Stubbs had become an anthropomorphic rhinoceros

Did you all play twister afterwards? Narrator: "And so after his origin story The Fishman did battle with his arch enemy, Wolfman. The opprobrium was writ large on the face of the senior Fishes as they wondered how it has come to this? Farken." Wolfman: "Ow! Dave you stood on my hand!" Fish: "One could argue, Neil, that your hand slipped under my foot if I were being obtuse, certainly the Xf to Xh ratio would suggest either is as likely as the other."

Friend was told when he started at the DSS that he wasn't allowed to look out the windows in the morning. When he asked why he was told that's for the afternoon. 🙂

🧐

This is objectively hilarious.

This place sounds fantastic!

I remember working at Benton Park when I was about 19? They had Flexi time where you logged in and out with a little plastic key. It was class because I'd clock myself and a mate in first thing 7:30 ish, then he'd show up at 9 take the keys and I'd fuck off early afternoon and he'd stick around to clock us both out late on. He'd drop the keys off at mine on his way home. We were clocking 2 hours credit a day and the boss was either too dense to notice, or didn't care. I think we were allowed to go 18.5 hours in credit and same debit, so we'd build up that credit then take a Flexi week off.

He's mates with the scouse lad.

He's blatantly checked out his social media after offering him the job then had second thoughts.

And what Renton says

It reminds me of the old council joke. An old squaddie goes for a job at the council, during the interview he informs the council of his medical conditions and the fact he is missing his testicles from a shrapnel wound and is also allergic to caffeine. A day later he gets the call to start. Council: "Hi, we'd like to offer you the job, we like to support ex forces and we think you'll be a good fit." Bloke: "That's great, when do you want me to start?" Council: "Next Monday if that's ok? We usually start at 9.00am but you're contract is going to be an 11.00am start." Bloke: "Why's that?" Council: "Well for the first couple of hours here at the council we just sit around scratching our balls and drinking coffee so thought there'd be no need for you to come in for that?"

I dunno. Maybe sign a player?

So, by the powers of elimination, your Mrs. must be Alex. Congratulations lads, when’s your anniversary?

guimaraes broke them. isak has smashed the cunts to pieces.

Remember when they made a huge thing about Burn and Fraser coming out the tunnel together every game because one was tall and the other was a midget? They sat them down for a massively important discussion about it and not once asked them about the turnaround in performances that led us away from relegation.

When my dad worked there you were allowed 45 mins per week (maybe a fortnight) to visit the onsite barbers. So obviously every single male employee there used that to go whether they were getting a haircut or not. I.e. if not just go and read the paper. I also remember the staff canteen with the bar next to it. With subsidised prices. A woman I worked with who did 3 days a week had 4 or 5 bottle of Lowenbrau Pils every lunchtime she was there. Whilst only taking a 30 minute lunch

I usually get in work between 6:45 - 6:55. So by 9am I am full off coffee / boredom and want to go home

Paedo, Paul and Mary, more like

Flagrant red shirt rule at play. Hembarrassing.

60m for Watkins, no thanks. Villa should be asking for something closer to 100m. Arsenal are over a barrel and everyone knows it, thanks to their friends in the media incessantly banging on about their striker problem.

Oh the irony of you daring to tell anyone to switch off media that they don’t like.

He made his name as a comedian and I cannot even begin to tell you how bad his stand up is. It's strictly for thick meatheads. Much like everything else he does.

I am a little surprised that when Guehi does something homophobic with an armband Sky aren't pointing out that's why the Saudis wanted him.

TT humour level this morning

He's used to interacting with dip shits on twitter which probably explains his patronising, playschool patter, 'Hey guys, if you look through the round window you'll see my colleague, mark, was just speaking off the top of his head, there's no sky agenda guys!' fuck off, man. (I'm sure that'll have went down well with anyone of his managerial team or friends at sky who seen it on his twatter feed though).

Probably decided they no longer have the funding for the role and haven’t got the balls to just say that.

Yeah. What ewerk says. The lack of professionalism around something as straightforward as this (ie even just getting back to you as a courtesy) doesn’t bode well for what they’d be like to work for imo.

Aye, unless you're getting a fuck off pay rise then it sounds like the place is a mess and probably one to avoid.

My mate keeps telling me to cheer up, things could be worse: you could be stuck in a hole underground full of water. I know he means well

More news about untaxed money flowing into and out of Chelsea as recently as 2021 from Abramovich on the BBC. What's going to happen Sweet FA

That’s plainly been recorded just after Palace beat us. Wood in front of Isak? Away and fuck off ya jumped up mackem/hun hybrid

My sister and her husband, lets call him Neil do that. Never forget sitting with them at a Christmas meal and Neil is a bit shy and quiet. So to put him at ease I ask him about LARPing and he tells me that his character is a Wolfman and is the leader of his clan. I ask if that's like a werewolf and he looks aghast "A werewolf?! They can only change in a full moon, I can change whenever I want!" Looked at my Dad for help and he just kind shrugged sadly and refilled our glasses.

She's going to use government money to move three freight rail terminals to enable to redevelopment of OT. I look forward to similar funding to move the metro line and SJ station when we come to redevelop the ground.

When Guehi wins a header or makes a tackle do we ever get, "here's why Newcastle wanted him"? Only real reason they had any need to mention Arsenal in that video would have been at the time, we were moving within 4 points of them.

I’ve got both on mine Tbf in this spell at Benton Park View (as it’s now known) it’s nothing like it was nearly 30 years ago, when I last worked there. Completely different department and type of role now too. Back then it was ridiculous like. People used to just disappear for hours and getting just pissed enough so the boss didn’t have to get involved was commonplace of a lunchtime. It’s still an odd place like

Somehow her patter manages to be more offensive than her face.