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CLASSIC 'Hold me back, hold me back' vibes from Gemmill.

"his chin nuzzled into his breast" Is he a fucking pigeon?

Just in case Tdansmith is reading, Alex is not saying you have to get off Toontastic, stay off it, and ignore it completely.

Classic hand down their knickers before you've even asked their name vibes from ewerk.

Longstaff (however much you may want to believe it) didn't cause us to lose last night, we fell apart when he was taken off. We lost because our "expensive" players can't hit a barn door. P.S. Joe would have overhit/misplaced the pass anyway as he (and Bruno) did several other times. If anyone was dire last night it was Willock, he offered nothing and Barnes was invisible. But it's all Longstaff's fault.

Thank god they're all mongs on twitter so it'll be getting thrown in the bin or mistaken for a crayon and thrown up someone's bum.

I was ready to go this time around, but CLASSIC ewerk getting in before they'd even turned the floodlights off on Toonpack's shame.

There goes the season.

My first match of the season and the beginning of my ten match thread starting streak. 3-0 to us and Steve Parrish to have his eyes pecked out by that fucking eagle.

"Maybe I am a cunt, after all?"

BDB like Trippier emanates calmness in the team, regardless of the shite he gets, he was a huge miss last night. They are looking more and more like a team that thinks they only need to turn up against the "top" teams. Disappointing when Lewis Hall, a kid of 20, is consistantly your best player, especially when you consider the rest of the squad.

Sort of falls apart midway through the sentence

As soon as they scored, all composure went out of the window. We fell to pieces. IMO Trippier is on the pitch he calms people down. Bruno isn't a captain. He is a passionate, emotional lad. Not a captain.

1-3 - Hatrick from Robledo (the other one)

Absolutely perfect that the anecdote begins in El Prat airport.

I think your hatred for Longstaff skews your view sometimes. There were loads of people on the pitch worse than him and you over analyse his mistakes. For AWB goal for example, Bruno was pick pocketed in midfield but you blamed Longstaff for not picking up the runner. If the roles were reversed you'd still 100% blame Longstaff.

Nail, head.

Two of the three you mentioned missed great chances (not for the first, or second, time this season) not sure that's the managers fault tbh. The way we're playing is creating chances, but our supposed "crown jewels" aren't taking them.

I think it was quite similar to both of those games - we controlled large parts, created the better chances and should have scored a few if we could hit a barn door. I was hoping we had turned a corner after Forest and Chelsea but we’ve seen this performance so many times this season against the so-called lesser teams. The difference this time was how we fell apart in the last half hour, the panicked nature of Howe’s subs and what followed - our structure and game plan completely falling apart in the closing stages.

Hate to break it to you ewerk but I’m going to this match

Massadio Haidara playing in UCL against Barcelona. Oh la la

Aye she left a disfigured doll on his doorstep after a bad breakup. She admits to that one, but that bloke is such a cunt that it's probably the least he deserved.

She also had problems with James Woods iirc, another upstanding citizen....

Aye, you have to wonder how many careers were ruined by that odious cunt just because they said no

Oh in that case I think I watched one of the newer ones cos there was no voice over. I still think 2049 was a big improvement. I was thinking about that Sean Young wife who played Rachel. I remember as a kid all the patter about how she was "difficult to work with" and how that more recently was exposed as code for "not up for being knobbed by studio heads". Turns out she filed a complaint against Weinstein in 2017, so it was probably mostly that cunt.

His total lack of self-awareness isn’t improving with age, I see

Those I've mentioned have proven themselves, I'm not sure Tonali has yet.

The only real form of protest you have available to you is to get off Twitter, stay off it and ignoring it completely imo.

People are getting far too melodramatic again tbh. I thought yesterday’s performance was rather poor, but just because of the mentality and focus not because of tactics and lack of talent or fitness. We lacked intensity and accuracy, but that’s it. Recent performances proved that the same set of players is capable of totally different quality.

He wasn't the only one. Isak never seems to follow anything in on the keeper. And Gordon, just looks so off and has pretty much all this season (and it's not because he is shite Monique). There can be no excuse about fitness, we're almost in December.

Nobody is coming in for Wilson in Jan. They will wait until the end of the season. IF he has a decent December the club will look at extending his contract by a year or so just to get a fee for him in summer.

Yeah, that's the main thing, our sharpness in front of goal. I don't know how Howe can legislate for that. I thought we were comfortably the better team before the second. After that we panicked and lost faith. It happens.

You must have seen them play loads.

what xG does explain is we should have been ahead first half. If we score one of the many big chances created the crowd get involved and it’s a totally different game. Up until their second goal went in West Ham had registered two shots on goal. They scored both of them. We are in control before their second goal, despite being behind and there were clearly goals in the game for us. It was after their second goal that we fell apart. Until then I was pretty happy with what I saw, apart from the continued failure to take chances. I don’t know what’s happened to our finishing this season. Last season those opportunities were going in.

Which one are you talking about here?

Spot on.

I think on reflection it’s Howe’s worst managerial performance. We controlled the first half and there were goals in it for us, despite being a goal down, but his arse fell out second half after their second went in and he threw on everything he had on the bench like he was playing a game of fifa. We ended up looking so ragged and disjointed. So unlike Howe

Please sign a right winger, for the love of god.

Our aimless right wing was even more painful to watch when you saw Bowen for them. What a cracking player he is and he’d have been absolutely perfect for us. Another thing we have to thank Ashley for is putting the block on that move

"York was aaalwayahs County Dehrum back when it was called Eoforwīc. That's bascialley sun'lin when yeh think about it. Aah heyeh King Alfred hated the mags anaal."

Jason Isbell at the Stockton Globe last night was immense, easily in my top 3 gigs but R.E.M. in '95 will take some beating. Fair to say the £20 million plus they supposedly spent refurbishing the Globe was well spent, love that Art Deco style from the olden days.

Niiiiice. Is it white, aye?

Can't even get the home away vibe right 0-0

we were unlucky not to have got at least an equaliser in the 1st half. 2nd half performance was fucking pathetic, we left the ground with what we deserved, fuck all. and I thought they were one of the worst teams I've seen at sjp this season.

Thanks for the fun @Toonpackbut everyone has their day.

Howe went too early with the formation change. We were getting chances and had a decent enough control over the game. Kelly has botched is chance. It’s going to be a long way back for him with Sven back soon.

That was the switch to 442, not Longstaff. If Longstaff is the answer, we're asking the wrong question. Another dead honest, likeable lad, but we need to be moving on.

They’ll be introducing Reygis Le Briys to the Magic Roundabout soon then… Including caretakers, 33 managers since Monkeys Heed. 21 without counting caretakers.

Both him Phil Jupitus share the attributes of being comedians that aren’t remotely funny, and a belief that the can “do” a Geordie accent.