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One mention of swallow and CT is transported back to that finger suckjob he got in Oz nightclub in 1983. His sexual awakening.

This is where all that time and effort securing Ashworth’s services is about to pay off for the Theatre of Screams mob. He’s got the contacts, has the science, and puts on a mean spread sheet, and I’m sure no one will expect Southgate as the next Red Mug.

Bastards. I'm gutted about this. He was just about to turn a corner with them.

One of the best passes in PL history according to Carragher. The only place that cunt is irresistible is in an Appalachian hill town, and even then only to his cousins.

This is probably the 40 year old in me. But having watched how we are trying to play this season, it’s not much different from the season we finished 4th. The difference is the players aren’t performing, Isak missing chances he wouldn’t have missed, Gordon being off the boil, Bruno has been shite all season, Joelinton not winning any duels the whole season. The players to a man, in my mind, have been shite. It’s easy to blame the manager in situations like this, but I bet my mortgage that Howe and the coaching staff haven’t change much in what they are doing day to day. So when do the players take responsibility? Im also open to the possibility that the players have been unsettled in numerous ways, and don’t buy that players are robots who can play well despite the noise. But there has to be a sense of person responsibility for all players, if you are playing worse than previously for no obvious reason that surely that’s on you personally? The manager will probably end up carrying the can for it, but there’s some lads in our team who aren’t pulling their weight and they need to look at themselves.

I'd love to see big dan burn pull the ugly manc chav cunts arms off and beat him senseless with the fuckers. hate that fucking goal celebration with a passion.

Haven’t read through the thread, but can’t really say I blame Eddie for any of this. He’s done magnificently since joining and surpassed our wildest dreams with the squad we’ve had, but that was never going to be sustainable given the lack of investment. We have an average clunky keeper, 2 central defenders missing and 2 ageing and average central defenders playing. We have 2 kids and LB and RB who show great potential but probably wouldn’t be 1st choice in many other top teams. Upfront we have one top striker who seems to have lost all confidence and belief and are spoilt for choice on the RW with either Murphy or Miggy. Again 2 players who wouldn’t get a game elsewhere. Then we have a midfield where we seem spoilt for choice, but seems dragged left right and centre by what’s going on behind and in front of it. Howe has done very well all considered, but only so long you can polish a turd. No one is coming to buy the deadwood so we are going to have to sell one or two of the “diamonds”, reinvest and rebuild.

There's definitely a nagging worry that Howe's style of play has plateaued and he doesn't have a plan B. The season we finished 4th we played every game as if we were the underdogs in an FA cup 3rd round match. Hunting in packs, first to every ball, outdoing anyone else's intensity. That was never going to be sustainable though and it's possibly the reason we picked up so many injuries last season. Can honestly see us finishing bottom half at this rate

It’s not really that simple, is it? Wilson and Trippier aren’t anything like the players they were due to age, injuries catching up with them. In particular having only one fit proper CF who is able to start and do a job in the PL has been a crippling limitation. The uptick in the performances of limited players like Longstaff, Almiron and Murphy hasn’t proven to be sustainable (not really a shock there either). Botman and Lascelles getting injured is massively problematic too. The former is a huge miss while the latter couldn’t be sold to bolster the squad. Anderson was sold to meet PSR requirements. You would think he’d have got game time. Miley is out injured, ditto. All that plus coming 4th being a massive overachievement

A mackem lass goes to the dole office to register for child benefit “How many children?” asks the welfare officer. “Ten” replies the mackem. “Ten?” says the welfare worker. “What are their names?” “Brayden, Brayden, Brayden, Brayden, Brayden, Brayden, Brayden, Brayden, Brayden and Brayden” she says. “Doesn’t that get confusing?” “Naah…” says the mackem lass, “It’s great because if they’re out playing in the street I just have to shout ‘Brayden yer dinner’s ready!’ or ‘Brayden go to bed now!’ and they all do it” “What if you want to speak to one individually?” says the curious welfare worker. “That’s easy,” says the mackem lass.... “I just use their surnames.”

Hello from Zagreb (Airport). Pleasant city, enjoyed it a lot.

Oooo oof wykiki has got the claws out for Howe now. There's no coming back from this. We've seen this before.

Messi-esque, that pass, according to Lineker. Give me Joe Willock's outside of the boot pass to play in Isak over that, any day. The kid is very good, but these pundits never learn about bigging up the new lad coming through.

2-0 Palmer with two own goals, slips on his own drool, breaks both legs and gets melted down for glue on the centre circle.

Yeah that’s why I said the player loyalty thing isn’t accurate at the moment but it’s definitely a perception that’s out there. When Howe was appointed our dear friend and colleague ewerk, as he does, dug out 3 or 4 posts I’d made slating him. I knew what was going on down here in the last couple of seasons of Howe’s tenure at AFCB. We all know about the shit Fraser pulled in their relegation season but Callum Wilson also sat the final months of that season out in the physios room and many AFCB supporters were saying things about him that now sound very familiar. Do players lose faith in Howe’s methods after a while? Is/was the physicality required too much? Have our better players who are in a different league quality wise to the decent pros Howe dragged up from league 2 just acted a bit quicker than they did?… obviously am just speculating. There is no lack of effort from our players but yesterday we gave the ball away so much because in my opinion we looked weak on the ball when we came up against Chelsea’s press. When Chelsea challenged for the ball in midfield they invariably won it. That’s the difference for me between this season and the one before last. Not sure how you get that back…

I think we are just in a transitional period right now and it is difficult to face. Problem is that we are in the transition at board level as well as the playing staff. I love Schar but he is ageing which is why Howe looked for the replacement in the summer. Burn was never bought to be a first team player- he wasn't even a first team player at Brighton. The midfield seems to be suffering from the weakness behind it which then impacts on the top as well. I think Howe is still getting more out of the players than we saw before the takeover. People may say that is not hard, but it is also hard to measure. I am interested to see what happens in January. I would be shocked to see Howe go. Things are not going well but likewise it can be seen how much difference there would be with two competent (due to age) cbs in the team. We are still at a point where most of Man City's or Chelsea's second team would start for us. The fourth place finish shows what happens when things swing your way and, to be honest, if a few things had went our way we would be further up the table now.

I'd say wedded to a formation that isn't working is undeniable, but he's maybe learned his lesson about being too loyal to players. Trippier moved aside for the younger option (possibly even a bit too early) and Tonali eased in now ahead of Longstaff. I think our current problems largely come down to an ageing (at the back), underpowered (up front) squad, and PSR has to take a good chunk of the blame for that. Set free in the transfer window, and with more competition across the squad, it's unthinkable that we wouldn't be looking much better than we are now.

This Bournemouth fan’s opinion is, rightly or wrongly, echoed by many NUFC supporters today.. if you look at the facts as to which players are available to him and why that is the case it’s probably not a decent comparison but the implied tactical inflexibility certainly is… Its from this article in The Athletic…

Normally I’d back us for a win, but travel time to Mongolia, combined with the noise outside the hotel from hordes of Tuvan Throat Singers has given me pause for thought. So, in a slight break from tradition I’m going for 5-0 to us. Hat trick from Jimmy Cauty, brace from Bill Drummond, and one each from Sven Adult Botman.

I just remembered you were there. It all makes sense now.

I sincerely hope Van Nistelrooy does really well just to really turn the knife when he's returned to his assistant role under Southgate.

dutch nonce moved on.

We played better when he went off when Longstaff and Willock came on and Joelinton moved to left wing… I think Howe likes Joelinton because he likes what he imagines to be the physicality the player formerly displayed but pretty much no longer does in the middle of the park at the start of games. Tonali doesn’t fit. Hes a slightly more spatially aware and combative Hugo Viana. I think he was offered to us due to his upcoming betting issues…

It's Sky. Everything that happens today is better than what happened yesterday. Expect more of the same from tomorrow. I know he's not on Sky Sports anymore, but Jim White learned his "everything's a game changer" patter through working for them for years. Bob Mortimer captures his essence perfectly.

I see the Chinese mouse still doesn't have the minerals to set up the match thread

all season we've given away possession so cheaply, so fucking frustrating to watch. I think there's certainly some credibility in the suggestion that our better players have lost some faith in howe's methods, very probably compounded by frustration in the clubs inability to strengthen in the last 2 windows, we are a team in decline, our 12th place more than warranted. the biggest surprise for me this season is gordon signing a new contract, I wouldn't have. I think the club needs a massive lift to get back on track between now and the end of january, it could start by revealing it's intentions with regard to the stadium, new build or development, training ground, sponsorships, ideally ones which are a big fuck off to masters and the red tops, a couple of quick, decisive moves when the window opens in a couple of months time. create some fucking positivity around the place because at the minute it all just looks like stagnating, or worse. a few shipping containers plonked in the metro car park isn't good enough.

Eddie seems to be too loyal, which I think is his downfall. There are players who he does not want to lose, such as Trippier, Wilson, Miggy, Longstaff who almost certainly need to go and be replaced. He can be ruthless, but only with players he falls out with, such as the midget. We would have kept Dummett and Ritchie if we had got into Europe, because they were good around the club. He is too loyal to his system and the players within it. He's the best manager we've seen for many years, but he seems perhaps to have reached a plateau, as he did with Bournemouth. I hope I'm wrong and he can turn this round, but something is very definitely off with the team and the coaching staff. Just sadness at the decline. Definitely don't want derbies back if we are playing like this.

Enjoyed that. My favourite quote, referring to Musk: "It has the feel of maybe the second-to-last Elvis tour. We’re entering the Fat Elvis phase." I like this quote as well, cos it's how I feel unfortunately: "There seem to be people that go through life with no regrets and then there’s people like me." I hope this guy is right and we're not just liking the article because it's telling us what we want to hear.

Sophie Ellis Bexter's mam introducing some model stadiums.

Bus from Belfast, I reckon. Spaghetti hoops in a flask for the journey to get into the Italian vibe.

3-1 We finally click (possibly) Edit - time for a grown up (or senile old cunt if you prefer) to take charge

Wyn Davies looks like he's winning.😂 Tommy Gibb had a mouchette didn't he ? If it's from the April 1969 game, David Craig didn't play. Willie McFaul John McNamee Bobby Moncur Frank Clark Preben Arentoft Tommy Gibb Alan Foggon Wyn Davies Arthur Horsfield Bryan Robson John Craggs sub Jackie Sinclare ( he did come on) Edit..Jimmy Rimmer was the Man u goalie that day.

I think it's Longchamp ?

Great just great. Ten Hag was going to be the prime source of football entertainment now that Nufc are painful to watch again. This week just keeps getting better.

Is this the week where we can finally say that CT is getting the hang of this football lar....... Err....Actually....too soon......one swallow etc.

FYP

bbc analysing who the next manager could be as well as running a poll on it, completely omitting southgate from their reckoning. think it's probably safe to assume that 2nd place 'other' is in fact neutrals voting for the missing former england man.

I don't think it's on that video but I saw another clip of his podcast where he's talking about one of his mental conspiracy theories about the way a building blew up. Anyway he goes "I'm obviously not a bomb expert.." and his guest, quick as a flash goes, "you should see your act". He's properly wounded by it. Can't laugh convincingly, can't think of anything to say in response, just sits there getting laughed at and eventually starts doing this fake laugh and "OMG so brutal" type patter. The prick.

When TP blows this, the Arsenal thread is mine. I literally just came in here to post that only to find my name being brought into disrepute by Son of Sutcliffe. Disgusting.

Christ, I remember the smell of the glue factory down Walker. Bloke's who worked down there must have reeked forever. Are any still alive I wonder to be able to render Palmer down ??

You say that about Trippier but until his injury he'd very much taken his spot back. I can't help but think that was because Bruno just isn't cutting it with the armband and he wanted more leadership on the pitch because Bruno has pretty much stank the place out since he got that "promotion"