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Here are six things to do in Sunderland: 1) Macking shite at the Glass Centre 2) Roker Beych 3) Leyve 4) Are yeh in mag land yet? 5) Honestly, marra there's nowt else. 6) Pleyse tack yeh penis owt of that sea bird.

First, fuck you Fish. Second, this is just

How about some humility that a club with a sinkhole in the middle of its pitch has lasted two rounds longer than they did?

I think Almiron would thrive down that side

I'm in an airbnb I Devon at the moment and it's been fantastic. Only problem is every time I go for a piss I think of @Gemmill

No - these ones

A garlic bread "recipe". What mysteries could this contain?!

I'll sum up the mackem logic from that thread.

"Sounds like it's still very much the plan. We'll be playing in front of 60k plus watching prem and champs league football within the next ten years under this lot." https://www.readytogo.net/smb/threads/sol-expansion.1641321/ 🤣

This will be all the evidence RTG needs if we knock them out next week. We're not even trying to hide it this time.

If you’re going in February then why not Northern Ireland? The cold and the constant rain will mean you’ll be much cheerier when you then get home. None of these post-Mexico blues.

We went a few years ago. The landscape is stunning but it is a fucking boring Island. The average tourist there is about 90 years old too. It’s also not that warm and it rains a lot. The main city (Funchal) felt a bit run down. That said, there is a Cristiano Ronaldo museum which is as snidey as the man himself. We ended up just getting mortal on Poncha as there wasn’t much else to do.

didn't have garlic, butter or parsley. used ginger, margarine and basil instead

he was famous for not cutting his fingernails and using them to pinch guys hard when the ref wasn't looking to try and get them to respond. now that i read that... "oooh pinching! how hard are you?"

Are booking.com trying to tell him something? #MakesYouThink

I don't know why you lads are wasting your time here. @Christmas Tree the floor is yours.

Footballers are fucking pathetic nowadays. Cancelled the match because of a divot? I've heard it all now.

Make a massive batch of Dishoom’s black daal, keep it in a slow cooker to keep warm and serve with flatbreads. Nothing else will get eaten. I can post the recipe from the cookbook if you want?

Considering the payoff he got paid for his Spanish villa, you'd think the Cunt of Monte Bisto would be a bit more grateful.

Other people may have been to Madeira and enjoyed it. I doubt it though. In fairness, I got off to a bad start as my wife had booked us a surprise holiday for my birthday. She only told me the rough time of the flight and the airport. After some research, I had it in my head that we were going to Côte d’Azur as there was a flight to Nice at that time. Imagine my surprise when I arrived at the check-in desk to find out that we were flying to Funchal and that all the other passengers looked like extras from Jason and the Argonauts. I have been to the Côte d’Azur since and can confirm that it is a significant step up from Madeira.

If you were ever a fan of Bagpuss as a kid, look away now......

One of the nicest things I’ve put in my mouth. And there is plenty of competition

I went to see her live once cos the ex wife liked her. It was one of those where you end up fancying the fuck out of her just cos of talent and the fact she's got the whole place in the palm of her hand. The place was absolutely packed out with lesbians who clearly felt the same.

Nice anecdote.

CT right now:

Whenever they do a list of things to do in Sunderland on trip advisor or whatever the SoL is about number 2 or 3 and before they get anywhere near number ten they’ve listed about 3 places that aren’t in Sunderland

Wandered in here for a chuckle.

They win a few matches, and this mass delusion comes out. They are insane.

Andw what's more, Taylor Swift is going to take up residency at the SoL during the wedding season.

That's drinks sorted.

(But not from Greggs).

Aye, two-footed tackle on Schmeichel rings a bell.

When feeding the masses, I always make this from Ottolenghi which is spot on. I stir the rocket through rather than "dotting" it, mainly because I serve it in a bowl rather than "on a large platter" because I'm normal. Also this from Ottolenghi - the onion-frying is a bit of a faff but it's what makes it. Both are 💯💯💯, as the kids say, and (here's the real win) can both be made well ahead of time; the former is served at room temperature anyway and the latter is absolutely fine just lukewarm or even at room temperature, as the recipe says - would probably be fine being kept warm in one of your slow/rice cookers too. If you do want to try your hand at something Sri Lankan, this is a go-to chez Meenz - needs a bit of ingredient prep but then (as the video shows) you chuck them in one by one and it all comes together really quickly. Bulk it out with meat of your choice ( ) if preferred, but it'd be a good one for the veggies if not. I don't see why you couldn't make it in advance and then just reheat it when the time comes (a couple of minutes in a wok should be enough; microwave ought to be fine too but might make the parotta go soggy, I suppose?). Also from Ottolenghi (just buy his Jerusalem book, it's great ) , these are basically just posh meatballs, which means they can be made in advance and popped in the oven when you're ready. (Don't bother with the tahini sauce part, it's more faff than you need during the Merryneum.) In the past I've also made them with the pine nuts roughly crushed and the parsley chopped and stirred through the meatball mix itself, rather than sprinkled over the top - also works nicely and makes them a bit different to your average ball o' meat. I can get you some less shoddily scanned images if required.

Sausage rolls.

The idea of the Fish willingly walking away from a football-related argument is adorable.

"yer can fuuuuuckn get THIS in the palm of yer hand fuuuuuckn geedup!" etc

Just buy a load of Chicago Town Pizzas and send someone to McDonalds for chips

Is there not a decent pitch in Milton Keynes that they can play on?

It looks shite and I've no idea who he is or if I'm supposed to be impressed? I'll be skint next month too but it'll have fuck all to do with NUFC.

It's all Greek to me.

arsenal were 2-1 up at the home of the champions and they found a way to bottle it. i'd have taken that before the game, but we should have scored more. we lumped a few into the box but meat and drink for arsenal. they're a team of big buggers. they 're supposed to have the best defense around. might be true. but when you don't leave the penalty are and you're all giants its hardly a masterclass. a tactical masterclass would involve them carrying some sort of threat. still they got a point and kicked rodri out of the PL for a while so job done. reminded me of that game arsenal whinged about versus stoke years back. stoke parked the bus and walcott had to be carried off. so the question is are arsenal stoke in disguise.

By popular demand*! *the demand being that his mum and dad wanted the annoying cunt out of the house for a few days.

Your luck:

I've heard you're the "mag at the grand bairn's footy" and that he absolewtly rinsed you and you didn't tak it very well.

nut him.

Looks great for the Lee Ryder Cup.