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Not surprising really as he's only about 2 inches high on the telly.

Tbf the Mail knows its audience. And its audience is horrible, insular, racist cunts

I see Paddocklad is moonlighting on TMS today, which one is he though ? 🤷‍♂️

Who ruins a sausage roll on the Lord’s day? Fuck you sir, fuck you sideways.

Gerrin.

Anyway, back in after a lovely birthday night and that MLF tale has just rounded it off nicely as I sit listening to music on YouTube with a glass of red. Get in.

right up there with lewis carroll smoking a shit load of opium and writing alice in wonderland that little tale is.

Thread about Nerja, a place I like and am thinking about going next year. Doesn't take long. Why aye.

The ones that Geordie Bangers do are like a Boxing Day turd wrapped in pastry… Glorious!

having barely featured on the beebs gossip column the entire time the transfer window was actually open, we're now never off it. antony from man utd now joining guehi (yawn) and elanga as january targets. very clearly mitchell providing the leaks here in a vain attempt to make himself look less of an incompetent thundercunt. but you can't fool me and hopey, no siree.

From the same Steve Wright school of having a great face for radio

Looks like the mail has a new bogeyman. Somebody making a FOOL of himself called McEvoy following on from Powell the other day and the mail also quoted the great ex-spurs sub in the 90s when they were very average, Jamie O'Hara as well slagging the new coach off saying 'he'd lost the nation already.' Such lovely people, I mean look at his photo, he looks like he'd be a good lad to work with or have a pint with.

In all, 113 different score lines have been achieved in more than 135 years of league football (when considering, for example, winning 12-2 being different from losing 2-12). Before the start of the 2024/25 season, the following clubs have achieved the most of these score lines: Winning 1-0 (33,957 matches): 442 times - Burnley Winning 2-0 (24,262 matches): 382 times - Liverpool Winning 2-1 (30,503 matches): 418 times - Sheffield United Winning 3-0 (12,947 matches): 227 times - Liverpool Winning 3-1 (15,320 matches): 253 times - Manchester City Winning 3-2 (9,525 matches): 158 times - Manchester United Winning 4-0 (5,614 matches): 131 times - Liverpool Winning 4-1 (6,555 matches): 117 times - Arsenal Winning 4-2 (3,888 matches): 75 times - Manchester City Winning 4-3 (1,671 matches): 32 times - Liverpool Winning 5-0 (2,338 matches): 59 times - Manchester United Winning 5-1 (2,533 matches): 54 times - Manchester City Winning 5-2 (1,573 matches): 33 times - Everton Winning 5-3 (608 matches): 15 times - Arsenal, Sheffield United, Wolverhampton Wanderers Winning 5-4 (205 matches): eight times - Leicester City Winning 6-0 (791 matches): 20 times - Liverpool Winning 6-1 (964 matches): 22 times - Manchester United Winning 6-2 (515 matches): 15 times - Aston Villa Winning 6-3 (212 matches): eight times - West Bromwich Albion Winning 6-4 (68 matches): five times - Plymouth Argyle, Wolverhampton Wanderers Winning 6-5 (17 matches): two times - Grimsby Town Winning 7-0 (292 matches): eight times - Arsenal, Fulham Winning 7-1 (341 matches): 12 times - Aston Villa Winning 7-2 (168 matches): seven times - Newcastle United, Sunderland Winning 7-3 (71 matches): four times - Stockport County Winning 7-4 (29 matches): three times - Liverpool, Watford Winning 7-5 (seven matches): two times - Blackburn Rovers Winning 7-6 (one match): one time - Charlton Athletic Winning 8-0 (103 matches): six times - Arsenal Winning 8-1 (94 matches): five times - Wolverhampton Wanderers Winning 8-2 (49 matches): three times - Chester City Winning 8-3 (19 matches): two times - Aston Villa, Blackburn Rovers, Sheffield United Winning 8-4 (five matches): one time - Accrington Stanley, Barnsley, Blackpool, Everton, Leicester City Winning 8-5 (three matches): one time - Burton Swifts, Derby County, Stockport County Winning 9-0 (37 matches): four times - Manchester United Winning 9-1 (34 matches): three times - Blackburn Rovers, Wolverhampton Wanderers Winning 9-2 (25 matches): two times - Mansfield Town, Middlesbrough, Nottingham Forest Winning 9-3 (10 matches): one time - Brighton & Hove Albion, Burnley, Darwen, Derby County, Everton, Hartlepool United, Luton Town, Manchester City, Southampton, Tottenham Hotspur Winning 9-4 (two matches): one time - Bristol City, Gillingham Winning 10-0 (16 matches): two times - Aston Villa, Sheffield United Winning 10-1 (11 matches): one time - Birmingham City, Fulham, Gateshead, Hartlepool United, Huddersfield Town, Hull City, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United, Wolverhampton Wanderers, Wrexham Winning 10-2 (six matches): one time - Birmingham City, Darwen, Fulham, Luton Town, Norwich City, Reading Winning 10-3 (three matches): one time - Hull City, Middlesbrough, Stoke City Winning 10-4 (one match): one time - Tottenham Hotspur Winning 11-0 (one match): one time - Oldham Athletic Winning 11-1 (seven matches): one time - Aston Villa, Birmingham City, Bradford City, Hull City, Lincoln City, Notts County, Tranmere Rovers Winning 11-2 (two matches): one time - Oldham Athletic, Sheffield United Winning 11-3 (one match): one time - Manchester City Winning 12-0 (eight matches): two times - Birmingham City Winning 12-1 (one match): one time - Barrow Winning 12-2 (one match): one time - Aston Villa Winning 13-0 (two matches): one time - Newcastle United, Stockport County Winning 13-4 (one match): one time - Tranmere Rovers Drawing 0-0 (14,992 matches): 397 times - Preston North End Drawing 1-1 (24,161 matches): 624 times - Nottingham Forest Drawing 2-2 (10,715 matches): 298 times - Leicester City Drawing 3-3 (2,336 matches): 72 times - Wolverhampton Wanderers Drawing 4-4 (321 matches): 14 times - Tottenham Hotspur Drawing 5-5 (39 matches): three times - Aston Villa, Blackburn Rovers, Grimsby Town, West Ham United Drawing 6-6 (two matches): one time - Arsenal, Charlton Athletic, Leicester City, Middlesbrough Losing 0-1 (33,957 matches): 461 times - Birmingham City Losing 0-2 (24,262 matches): 339 times - Port Vale Losing 0-3 (12,947 matches): 183 times - Leyton Orient Losing 0-4 (5,614 matches): 81 times - Lincoln City Losing 0-5 (2,338 matches): 38 times - Burnley Losing 0-6 (791 matches): 18 times - Notts County Losing 0-7 (292 matches): 10 times - Barnsley Losing 0-8 (103 matches): four times - Birmingham City, Nottingham Forest, Sunderland, Tranmere Rovers Losing 0-9 (37 matches): three times - Darwen Losing 0-10 (16 matches): three times - Darwen Losing 0-11 (one match): one time - Southport Losing 0-12 (eight matches): two times - Walsall Losing 0-13 (two matches): one time - Halifax Town, Newport County Losing 1-2 (30,503 matches): 408 times - Notts County Losing 1-3 (15,320 matches): 212 times - Notts County Losing 1-4 (6,555 matches): 102 times - Grimsby Town Losing 1-5 (2,533 matches): 52 times - Notts County Losing 1-6 (964 matches): 20 times - Crewe Alexandra Losing 1-7 (341 matches): eight times - Birmingham City, Burnley, Derby County, Port Vale Losing 1-8 (94 matches): four times - West Bromwich Albion Losing 1-9 (34 matches): three times - Notts County Losing 1-10 (11 matches): two times - Blackpool Losing 1-11 (seven matches): one time - Carlisle United, Charlton Athletic, Crewe Alexandra, Durham City, Glossop, Newport County, Rotherham United Losing 1-12 (one match): one time - Gateshead Losing 2-3 (9,525 matches): 144 times - Wolverhampton Wanderers Losing 2-4 (3,888 matches): 65 times - Sheffield Wednesday Losing 2-5 (1,573 matches): 29 times - Blackburn Rovers Losing 2-6 (515 matches): 13 times - Leicester City Losing 2-7 (168 matches): eight times - York City Losing 2-8 (49 matches): four times - Leicester City Losing 2-9 (25 matches): two times - Lincoln City Losing 2-10 (six matches): two times - Torquay United Losing 2-11 (two matches): one time - Cardiff City, Chester City Losing 2-12 (one match): one time - Accrington Losing 3-4 (1,671 matches): 32 times - Bolton Wanderers Losing 3-5 (608 matches): 16 times - Middlesbrough Losing 3-6 (212 matches): nine times - Cardiff City Losing 3-7 (71 matches): four times - Darlington, Everton Losing 3-8 (19 matches): two times - Burnley, Leicester City Losing 3-9 (10 matches): one time - Lincoln City, Loughborough, Port Vale, Sheffield Wednesday, Stoke City, Swindon Town, Tranmere Rovers, Walsall, West Bromwich Albion, Wolverhampton Wanderers Losing 3-10 (three matches): one time - Sheffield United, West Bromwich Albion, Wolverhampton Wanderers Losing 3-11 (one match): one time - Lincoln City Losing 4-5 (205 matches): five times - Arsenal, Sheffield Wednesday, Stockport County, West Ham United Losing 4-6 (68 matches): three times - Derby County, Preston North End Losing 4-7 (29 matches): two times - Ashington, Gillingham, Manchester United, Portsmouth, Swansea City Losing 4-8 (five matches): one time - Charlton Athletic, Fulham, Lincoln City, Manchester City, Plymouth Argyle Losing 4-9 (two matches): one time - Exeter City, Gillingham Losing 4-10 (one match): one time - Everton Losing 4-13 (one match): one time - Oldham Athletic Losing 5-6 (17 matches): two times - Crewe Alexandra, Newcastle United, Sunderland Losing 5-7 (seven matches): one time - Aston Villa, Birmingham City, Mansfield Town, Millwall, Reading, Sheffield United, Tottenham Hotspur Losing 5-8 (three matches): one time - Blackburn Rovers, Chester City, Walsall Losing 6-7 (one match): one time - Huddersfield Town No need to thank me @The Fish

Him and Tucker Carlson praying for Trump ffs. What an alleged rapist.

I knew a Japanese lad that fell in love with a blow-up doll. He just thought she was rubbery.

Andy Peebles. Claimed to be the last person to interview Lennon before he was killed. Only he wasn’t. He was just a tragic boring as fuck liar

“Ahm not defending him or owt marra, but hews ta sayah that his bairn didn’t want to bey buh’reed undah the patio.”

The papers in this country, just gotta love 'em. 'FURY AS NOBODY GIVES A FUCK!' The stock photo as well, man! 'Get two youngish, wokish looking females as a photo drinking latte or something. Make sure they're worth having a hate wank over.'

This story surely can’t be true, any self-respecting mackem would have mentioned the name of the bar and what ‘quarter’ of town it was in, what rare and expensive continental beverage he was savouring and mentioned the exact tasty, obscure local dish he was nonchalantly enjoying with his sister wife. Not to mention the fact that he would have windmilled the grayevy staiyend mag coont who dared speak to him while the locals cheered and the rest of the mags looked down humbly and respectfully at their pints of fosters.

And, as I was searching for the mackem logic gif on my phone, a reminder of genius Keith came up.

Every encounter they come out of it looking as cool as Clint Eastwood whilst the Mag looks like James Cordon on steroids. Wow, some boys.....

The rage will literally be all about who’s in power as well. Like now she cares about Grenfell? Just fuck off, you horrible cunt. I wonder how long it’ll be before she’s moved on without it looking too much obvious

There's obviously no thread.....

Just get sausage rolls THAT AREN'T FROM GREGGS is all I'm saying. I've thought for ages they tasted shit so it's not just about visual confirmation btw. I made some homemade sausage rolls the other day funnily enough as I love a DECENT sausage roll once in a while. They were Magnifique.

This. Ffs, nobody looks top closely into how the sausage is made, or we'd all be vegetarian. The answer is that both meat and vegan sausage tolls are minging. And a lot of vegan food is surprisingly highly processed and as bad if not worse than it's meat counterpart. I can happily eat vegetarian food, if its the stuff which is actually made of vegetables. The stuff made out of saw shavings, not so much.

I think she’s on to something 😆 Trouble is his core vote aren’t just voting for Trump the man, they’re voting for Trumpism…that’s not going to go away anytime soon..

Zenith Data Systems / Simod / Full Members Cup were all the same competition and TBD is correct. It was post-Heysel / English teams being banned from Europe.

I knew a lad with no feet. Neil. His brother had no shins Tony.

It's not often you see a player refuse to celebrate against a former team in international football

Roy Keane to turn up in an England kit in the second half and score your third.

What do you call a Spanish man discharged from hospital? Manuel

So I’m sitting here watching MK Dons v Walsall. And it’s shite. Think there are more people in my fucking living room than in the ground. Anyway, only watching these cunts so as to check out their style of play before we play them in the League cup. Half time and checking out when our game against them is. And it is the other fucking ‘Dons’. Bastards

If Fred had scored a couple of goals past the mags, they’d be campaigning for his murder hovel to be given protected status

Evidently, Eddie is going to shove cocktail sticks up Mitchell's japs eye if Mitchell doesn't get Carsley to sing the anthem (dirge), he's also told Mad Dog to stab Eales in the eye with a fork. (Source Craig Hope).

I didn't make it past the headline.

Not just him at it....