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Nice moment for Sandro. Brings a tear to the eye. He looks like he's struggling to hold it together. Must've had us to win it inside the 90.

Dougles thread

I can tell you now that the NHS is BY FAR the worst I've seen it in my 23 years of working there. Patients are dying avoidable deaths due to lack of beds and lack of staff. We can't get patients out of hospital because we don't have enough social workers, nursing homes or community carers. Patients who should be treated in hospital are sent home too soon because we need their beds, which often leads to a failed discharge and an even longer admission second time round. I dread to think what will happen if the NHS and social care budgets get cut any further. And this is all happening in a world where Shell made £11,000,000,000 profit in the last 6 months.

“Best I can do is Liverpool away.”

we do aye. which is why the whole thing with guehi appears so frustrating. we look like some daft obsessive cunt on ebay who ends up paying twice as much for an 04 ford fiesta than it's worth because they refuse to be beaten in a bidding war.

Thoughts and prayers (mainly for CT learning that his dead wife was a bigamist)

you must be that ginger bloke my mate in wideopen was telling me about who made 10 bids for his three-bed semi

Live scenes of Mitchell negotiating with Palace

the whole saga has become mind numbingly tedious, far, far worse than both maddison and paquetta combined. at least with the above two it all appeared to be conjecture by supporters, this is different, we've allowed ourselves to be part of a very public soap opera of repeated failed bids and parish stringing us along with half a dozen skysport/talksport interviews. we should've fucked them off a fortnight ago. I'll admit I'm not england's biggest fan so his performances during the euros pretty much passed me by, even with a dodgy firestick I've zero fucking interest in watching crystal palace games. is he worth £70m? I find it incredible that if we've got that much to spend there's not alternatives out there and we should've spent the last 3 weeks pursuing them rather than pampering to that smarmy cockney pricks ego.

The art of putting someone off the deal.

Gemmill next time he's round visiting the father and sees Mrs. CT out watering the peonies.

Aye because it’s that easy. The lad has been here six years now. The north east is his home where he his kids were born and raised and all he gets for his faithful service is to be traded like a piece of meat against his will. That’s enough to break anyone. Unless the club in for him is Man U in which case he’s down the A1 faster than CT getting up for thirds at the all you can eat buffet.

Oh. So the cup draw is now literally staged? What a fucking joke. All teams at each stage should be equal. Instead we get this fucking joke where the cartel are seperated. An absolute joke. Away against Wimbledon, good draw for progression, but still a joke.

Awoniyi's penalty just landed in my garden.

All that just to draw Man City away in the next round.

It was 'you chook bastard' unless I'm mistaken?

"Hello, is that NUFC complaints department?"

I'm on my fifth can now and struggling not to laugh every time I see a funnoi post on here or hear Alan smith cum out with one of his styowpid comments.

"OK thanks... Yep I'll let them know. Bye." "OK Paul. Darren. I've just spoken to Steve there and...Well....he says you can ram that last offer up your khyber."

So holiday update. Not seen any football tops worn by adults of any persuasion. No gravy stained mag bag bastards or fans of massive lads to be seen. Some locals in mallorca,. Real, or Barca tops only, and some German teams. However, D2 has made friends with a lass and talked to her parents. They're from Seaham. Got chatting and they're off to watch the match tonight. In support of NUFC. FUCKING COUNTY DURHAM MAGS!!!!!

The idea that other clubs get their transfer done in days is nonsense. Just because it’s the first you’ve heard of it doesn’t mean it hasn’t been going on for weeks or months behind the scenes. This one feels protracted cos Palace can’t hold their piss in. I think we might still sign a right winger, but if we don’t it won’t be because we have been scrabbling around in the last few days. We will have a list of numerous players we like for every position, and will move when we know that they are available. If none are available right now for a price we want/are able to play then we won’t buy for the sake of it. Which is the correct way to do it imo. Buying for the sake of it means you end up like Chelsea or Man Utd, with a squad full of toss on high wages that you can’t shift. Obligatory, fuck transfer windows, fuck Twitter and fuck sky. Dumbed down football discussion beyond recognition, lowest common denominator shite.

I find it quite funny that within the twattersphere you seem to have the same groups of people going ballistic that the club got into a PSR hole that saw them sell Minteh and Anderson. And yet think the club should’ve spent about £200m on three first teamers this window. Without joining the dots. Putting the idiots to one side though, PSR clearly has a big knock on impact on what the club can currently spend. Given that, you do have to question why so much time and effort seems to have been expended on a CB for £60+. It would be different if we were talking about a world class talent at their peak. He’s the next level down imo. Just seems odd the way the window has played out.

Guehi to sail up the Trent on the Tuxedo Princess at half time singing Fog on the Tyne through a massive loudspeaker.

WRONG THREAD DICK HEAD! Let's hope you don't actually experience your wife dying in reality and post the news on the joke thread.

Gemmill is hanging on for dear life, clinging to the ropes. He should be running out juice soon and joining us in #sackmitchel

I can't wait for this window to close so I don't have to read any more shit about who we should sign and how much we should have paid for them.

Fucking wanker! I nearly PM'd you the other day cos you'd said she wasn't well, and now this. At least the rest of the terrible joke crew have the DECENCY to post it in the joke thread.

Fuck’s sake, man. I thought you were being serious at first.

You fucking stupid cunt, I was genuinely gutted for you.

In the early rounds of the league cup how many players get rested? (Especially if you're playing a lower league side). If you believe journalists, (not itk knackers), we were apparently not far off getting him. If the journalists are wrong they're wrong, but if we really were close to agreeing then it's an unusual move to play and cup tie him. I don't think you have to be a mong to think this.

Indeed. And who would?

And we have just the man for the job

BRACE YOURSELVES GIRLS WE’RE COMING IN DRY! 😆

What time do we get Man City away?

I always write my complaints. Better have it HARD copy.

photo message from acrossthepong

You don’t want to see Gemmill’s private collection…

Jermaine PaddockLad.

Poor CT's wife knew she'd dropped a bollock the first time she met her MiL. The MiL told her CT's middle name was actually Wednesday. When asked why she chose that name, CTs mam said she was shown CT for the first time by the midwife, she took her first look at him and all present agreed to call it a day.

Why don't we sign that cunt instead?

When clubs start listing players on ebay and Rightmove, I'm sure you and Gloomy will be the first people Eales calls.

Mag-like behaviour

Same with Dummett. He was like a sheet of A4 - disappeared when he turned sideways.

Would this thread be a glimpse of what its like to be on a random forum post on RTG? I saw a load of new posts and assumed the fecker had signed

“In other news, Sean Longstaff won a competition on the back of a sugar puff box to win a trip to outer space. He’s said to be looking forward to the opportunity to retrieve one of the many, many footballs he’s sent into orbit over the years.”

Only a few more days until he signs or transfer window shuts. I cannot wait for this thread to end.

Are we calling the signing of Boumsong from Rangers a draw?

I was too