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Scarlet Johansson was in two films last year grossing $56m. Joaquin Phoenix was in three films in the same period grossing $87m. I now have a fully booked December being Santa's helper at the Christmas grotto at the MetroCentre. #acting #TicketsSold #BumsOnSeats #DontBeGreedy #HaveYouBeenaGoodBoyThisYear?

Oi! Fucker, least we never started a world war

He looked fine this morning as I was leaving for work

Tbh it even felt quite manufactured at the time. The peak being the Blur v Oasis and who was going to be number one. I think I’ve mentioned it on here before but it came on the news about it when a few of us were round at my mates. We’d all have been in our early twenties and literally none of us gave a shite. Also I’m not sure how much in common, beyond being guitar based indie groups, a lot of the bands actually had with each other. Having said that, Oasis were undoubtedly a huge phenomenon. As evidenced by the amount of twats walking around looking like they simultaneously had a stone in their shoe, had shit their pants and were carrying two rolls of invisible carpet

Eddie our kid, you ganning down to the Oasis gig, gonna be belta man! Me fave album is the cocaine inspired album Be here Now, reminds me of me early days at the Chron when we was high as kites. Them was the days man.

cool as the proverbial cucumber me. according to this article dated the 13th august martyn ziegler from the times has stated the verdict from man city's APT case against masters and his mates will be revealed in 2 weeks. that's today. I fully expect that by the time I uncork a nice bottle of rioja this evening to accompany my chunk of cabrales we'll have announced several £billions of sponsorship deals and tomorrow we'll buy every fucker. mark my words. https://cityxtra.co.uk/16517/verdict-on-manchester-citys-premier-league-legal-case-due-very-soon-belief-of-some-success-achieved/

I've got a few more gifs, then I'll be moving to death threats.

I played a lads v dads game in May. I was helped by it being about 7v7 on a 5 a side pitch. I was rusty to say the least, but the lack of time and space meant I basically did everything playing the way I faced and with one or two touch which helped in terms of getting away with. However when I checked after the game I discovered I’d have covered a greater distance if I’d just gone for a walk for the same amount of time.

Don’t we all?

Its likely just a chartered flight for Adam P to get the lowdown on what's going on with the Guehi transfer. Incomprehensible dribble incoming in 3... 2... 1...

If this cunt ever plays for us, I will half-heartedly boo him from my Merlot-stained beanbag.

I dunno, they seem pretty close now days.

Sunderland is 95% white too. They smashed their own town up for "makkin shewa it stayuhs that wayuh marra" reasons.

Chelsea acting like their entire club is on cocaine, just fiending for another bag at 4am on some cunts sofa

Laying another 30 foot of pipe in your bedroom.

@thebrokendoll

The best thing about this is going to be the pictures of lads in the 40/50’s who never grew out of the “scene” but certainly got a lot fatter, and I can’t wait.

Gordon has had two seasons with little pre-season break plus has come back after the Southgate snub. He may be just feeling the effects both physically and mentally. Or he could be in a little huff, I'd go with the former.

The 7 figure order book is probably just the number 7 #Beverage #Brands #Gandaft

Given they had no qualms about pinching their stadium name, they fucked up by not going with the Marracanã.

He’s not worth £70m, and thankfully it doesn’t look like we’re prepared to stump up the asking price and have moved on to other targets (at least I hope that’s what’s happened). Can’t blame palace for playing someone they don’t want to sell unless someone comes in with an offer that is so beyond the player’s value that they can’t turn it down. We need to move on and forget about this lad

Aye, cheers both. Just trying to get my foot in the door, likesay.

So, I'm enjoying 10 days in Mallorca, but despite the fact I'm not getting back until next Tuesday quite stressed. I've been trying to move jobs recently and my 'dream' job has come it. I'm perfectly suited to the role, but it's a competitive field and the NHS arms length body is proving very hard to break into at my level, as they like to promote from within. But I spent a long time on the application and have been given a job interview. Trouble is, it's first thing in the morning the day after I get back (late) from holiday. Not ideal. But now they have emailed me and I have to do a presentation, subject TBC, but will likely be highly technical involving a lot of research to do properly. FML tbh. I trying to be c'est la vie about this but it's taken me 6 months to get this far and now I just feel hugely disadvantaged. The job application is handled through a third party so there is nobody I can contact and will just have to do it. My wife is desperate to change her job and has landed a job interview and presentation for her potential dream job. Time and date, exactly the same as mine. You have to laugh.

Howe did not like that question at all. What a fucking idiot Taylor is.

That’s a some dirty protest

Poultry ponce with the BIG takeaway from this mornings banterings

So we get Guehi and Howe sees it as a success. Fine, but he better start playing one of Barnes or Gordon on the right. Either/or-ing those two in favour of Murphy or Miggy doesn't make any sense.

Big round faces and double chins with bad dye-jobs on their wispy sideburns. Burberry shirts with serious button-gape. The return of the monkey-walk.

I’ve spent the week sanding and re-staining my sleepers and deck in the garden, my brain wants to divorce my body.

After taking up football for a few weeks a few years ago after a thirty year break I can agree. My football brain was definitely not in synch with my body.

I sincerely hope they are a LOT fucking fitter than that 😱

Can a man not enjoy a nice day out in Sunderland without everyone instantly thinking that there's some ulterior motive? Okay, fair enough.

I heard Liam trying to sing the other month so it’s a good thing that the audience will be so coked up that they’ll not notice

All PL footballers get financially well rewarded. But he's been bought by a club that didn't want him to complete a financial checkbox. He's had to move house, and he'll shortly have to do the same again. It's not a good way to treat someone who already was on the periphery at his previous club.

And, of course, the genocide.

And have been saved by a passing seaman throwing them spare red and white tops to stay warm.

Whereas they'd have left the women behind and got in the lifeboats with the kids.

Good luck to the Renton family. Or as you'll probably better understand these days following album club: Big up yaself, go smash dat ting aiiight.

Crikey, we’re two games in, we’ve not played well, but we have just picked up a point away at a place we always struggle at, having previously won playing with 10 men for 70 minutes and we’re undefeated. But we’re fucked apparently 🤷🏼‍♂️

I look forward to him sorting out refs for us. Pre-match handshake, squeeze, and a whispered “capisce”.

I was at the Burnley game on Saturday. I couldn't tell you if he was any good as a keeper though cos Sunderland's strikers were aiming for row Z

howay man. More baseless speculation. Even if if that is true, who gives a shit? As long as he performs on the pitch, which he did yesterday. He deserves to start the next game because we looked much more threatening with him and Gordon on either flank. He played like he had something to prove, when we were a goal down, which was great to see, because until now a lot of his best performances have come when we’ve been on top. He was constantly making himself available to receive the ball and making things happen when he got it