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Maybe concentrate on posting accurate spreadsheets or I feel another internet kicking coming your way, sonny Jim.

FYP

"Maybe concentrate on posting accurate spreadsheets or I feel another internet kicking coming your way, sonny Jim." I get powerful Bugsy Malone vibes every time I see this photo btw. "We coulda been anything that we waaaaanted to be.... But don't it make your heart glaaaaaad.... That we decided, a fact we take pride in.... . We became the best at being bad!"

Fuck me, that was quicker than I expected

Don't pay any attention Dave. "Something's fucked in the logic" is my response to almost everything I read in this thread.

‘Chocked’?? Thick illiterate cunt…and ‘been decapitated’ ….has to be one of the brightest blokes in his Mam’s attic! …and of course the genocide eh Keef!

We have a separate thread for the pending Guehi signing btw

That’s why Gemmill‘s dad does speak to CT frequently. He thinks he is speaking with his son. The similar hair colour doesn’t help either.

Fucking transfer windows man

You 'gotta' double check your fucking attitude. I create these things out of the clear blue sky, package and present them, and this is the thanks I get? Go find a video of a heavily bandaged man pirouetting to no avail and get to waving at the little boatman, you pervert.

Maybe Gemmill is in fact Luke Edwards. They get the same amount things correct as well.

SHUT! YOUR! FACE! SHUT! YOUR! FACE!

There's probably 2 or 3 RW players that we've identified as the targets we want. That we think can play Howe's style, be at the club for an extended period of time, and not be a PR mistake. If none of them are available this window, we're not gonna just sign anyone. The days where you could just sign a this-might-not-work warm body player that was a bit better than you've got, and not worry too much if it doesn't work out are over. PSR has fucked that. We tried to do that a little bit with Elanga when we tried to get him on the cheap as part of the Anderson PSR fiddle, but Forest weren't having it. They'll know they need a RW to upgrade what we've got, but they'll have a very specific shortlist, same with CBs. They obviously value Guehi WAY ahead of the half price alternatives you're talking about and that's why they've been trying to get him specifically and not somebody else, just because that somebody else is cheaper - I think we should take that as a positive rather than a negative. Just saying "get a top RW for £50m" - like who? There isn't 5 to just go and pick that are available and that we want, and that can play Howe's system, etc etc. I trust them to be working to a plan. I absolutely do not want to watch Miggy and Murphy battle it out for the first choice RW spot for another season either, but I don't want us to buy someone that the recruitment team don't think is the real deal either. It'll be a shame if we don't sign a RW cos we'll be watching Miggy and Murphy for another season, but to write the window off as a disappointment is too simplistic imo, for the reasons I've given above. I seem to remember certain people being desperate that we sign Diaby and furious he went to Villa. And he was fucking kaka. That was a fuck up from Villa, but at the time they thought they'd won the transfer window.

Obama did show off his comic timing to perfection though with his brief glance downwards here ( right at the end) https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/czrgvx20rznt?post=asset%3A39bb0c42-dee4-412b-9d45-bc4b0395ce19#post

The worst thing about Rory Stewart, even worse than him being a tory cunt, is the way he tries to talk like an American. I know he's married to one - "Shosanna" - but the way he says "lemme just challenge that", and he softens his t's. "I godda just say, Chicago's a great ciddy." Fuck off, you daft posh twat.

Obviously, if we sign Guehi, I take all of this back

give us the name then Keith, you big tease

See, there's the problem

If Palace could hold their water there'd be little to no saga, it's all on them and their chairman.

Love how CN is playing the “staying away from running commentary” line for missing out on the scoop btw. As if he wouldn’t have written it up if his sources had told him

If this goes through, we've got a new tradition on here. We agree the targets that we want and KD manifests it by starting a thread. Toontastic's very own vision board.

Can tell things are desperate when CTs photo is getting thrown in here. Does this Mitchell know what chaos he’s causing?

FYP.

I know it's pretty blinkered of me, but whenever I see that CT has dared stray into Football Chat I immediately think "Well, this is going to be utter bollocks". So far this prejudice has been utterly and categorically earned, but still, I think I need to work on that.

Well that’s helped allay my fears selling him would come back to haunt us.

The point I'm making is there were no good options, and this was the least worst option. And I don't think it was a fuck up by anyone. We tried shifting people in the Jan window and we couldn't and we were up against the reality of an unacceptable PSR loss on a specific date, and so Anderson and Minteh went, and now at least one of them is a never-played-a-game-for-the-club twitter folk hero.

It's not necessarily a fuck up. End of the day, the PSR has fucked all ambitious clubs, but unlike Villa and Brighton and the rest we've been poorly managed since 2007. Selling Minteh wouldn't have been the issue, we'd have made a fortune selling all manner of shitcunts over the years. Instead, we have to sell a promising fringe player not because the new owners have necessarily made a mistake, but because of a crippling injury record last season and over a decade of negligence and poor transfer business.

Had Guehi moved for £70m to Liverpool or Man City, that's one thing. But nobody else seems interested at that price, so why should we pay it? Especially as it's not like the kid is the new Maldini or owt. He's top half of the PL standard, but he's not better than Botman who is much more highly rated and who we got for 1/2 the price.

I’m sorry, I missed the memo that said we weren’t allowed to question the wisdom in spunking £70m on a player who was worth half that price before the euros. it looks like the recruitment team agree he isn’t worth what palace value him at. I don’t think that’s a bad thing - we’re not Man U and I don’t think we want to develop a reputation for spending over the odds as long as these psr rules are in place. If we could freely spend the money the owners have without fear of a point deduction I wouldn’t be getting involved in this debate, I’d say spend the cash to get the players we want

This, it’s a slippery slope, before you know it he’ll be buying stuff that won’t fit in to where he wants it to go!

I've no problems with the terminology "tough decisions". Decisions in government are difficult, there are tradeoffs with everything. They've inherited an apalling situation: Huge debt (about 4x that the cons inherited, close to 100% GDP), a significant deficit at a time when interest rates are relatively high.* Highest taxation rates since WW2. Flatlined productivity. Worse standard of life than in 2010. Acute and long-term housing crisis. Fucked infrastructure, can't even build a simple railway any more. Cut off from our trading block, huge Brexit liabilities. Record immigration. Shambolic public services. Literally, none of them working properly. External threats from Russia and the US (if Trump wins). Deteriorating ME situation. Environmental crisis, polluted waterways, climate change. That's literally just off the top of my head. So far on the negatiVe they have cancelled the luxury of building a tunnel under Stone Henge and taken winter fuel payments away from relatively wealthy pensioners. That's it. * Why is this important? Because we are spending £89 billion quid on debt interest repayments alone. More than education and defence budgets combined. So when Reeve's talks about cutting the deficit and balancing the books, it is not because she wants to inflict an idealogical austerity on us. It's because the country is currently wasting billions of pounds paying interest that could be used for public services.

This could be the owners Keegan moment. They've brought in a new DOF and are fannying on with cheap signings and "couldn't get them over the line" 'purples'. Howe to walk, sue the club and then slag off lasses football nailed on. I wonder who we'll bring in to replace him now that Joe Kinnear is dead.

I do like chicken.

Put it this way, if we can get a Gordon/Barnes standard player ont he right flank, we're immeasurably more dangerous going forward. And with worse players than we have now, we had the joint meanest defence in the league 2 seasons ago. I think a coach can have more impact on a defensive unit, bringing them up to a higher standard than they naturally are. More impact than the same coach can have at the top end of the pitch where natural talent makes more of a difference. I'm not explaining myself well, I know. But a €60-70m attacker makes more of a difference to our ambitions, than a €60-70m defender would.

Not only have Labour in record time managed to sort out most strikes happening or threatened on our transport or public sector, they have also successfully quelled a spate of ugly race riots. They've decommissioned the Bibby Stockholm and scrapped Rwanda. They've also stopped arms exports to Israel. In 6 weeks, in the summer holidays. But immediately we have the usual right wingers condemning them for being in the pocket of the unions whilst simultaneously we have the left of the party wailing on abouth how dare they stick to their manifesto. Increasing inheritance tax and putting VAT on private schools? The bastards! It's virtually impossible to govern this country without these two groups kicking off. Well tough shit, Labour won a land slide and there's nothing you can do about it for 5 years, and then the choice will be an extreme right wing tory party in all probability. Apparently who are exactly the same as Labour.

It's the first emoji transfer window. Sign a RW for the first team: 😄🎈🎉🙌🕺 All other transfer window outcomes: 🫤

I used to get horlicks when I could afford them.

Not if you’re foreign it’s not. Makes you think

How different ‘September’ by Earth, Wind and Fire would’ve been with that opening line

I will only use it when the transfer is really dead and then will keep bumping it for years.

You'll be the first one whingeing when Almiron cuts in on his left foot and balloons it over the bar rather than rolling it across the 6 yard box with this right peg for a tap in.

You should see what they do with cauk!

CB for two positions we have; Lascelles - Fucked knee, return date? Potentially played his last game for us. Botman - Fucked knee, return date? Burn Schar - Currrently suspended (Is it 3 games?) - In final year of contract. Kelly That's it, but people think we need a RW over a CB? Yes Krafth can cover but he's not a natural CB. What happens if Burn get's fucked? He was out with a back injury last season!

We're the country of "STOP THE BOATS" so I'm not sure we've got a leg to stand on at the minute tbh

I was never arsed about Guehi at the price mooted. Massively inflated by an impressive Euros. There are other options out there for half the price - though whether we manage to secure one in the time left before the window closes remains to be seen. I’d like to think we’ve been working on multiple targets. We simply have to secure a RW for the first team or it’s been a disappointing window.

Cognitive dissonance aaall ower the shop. He was our best player during the Euros. We need a RCB as a long term replacement for Schar, and Guehi would have been a perfect statement signing ala Bruno and Isak. We've been left with egg on our face and whoever we end up with will know they were second choice. And don't get me started on starting ANOTHER season with the fucking heedless chicken rampaging down the right wing and then turning around and running back in the other direction

CT’esque