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"Herr Fuhrer, according to our intelligence the mackems are playing a couple of friendlies away from home." "It's alright, it'll probably just be another game like Gateshead at the international stadium where they might even get beat again." "Herr Fuhrer, it's..... it's a friendly in Alicante against a Spanish mid table second tier club." "For fucks sake! This changes absolutely everything! How are we supposed to compete when they're arranging European glamour friendlies like this?! Get on the phone to Riyadh and arrange the sale of NUFC immediately!"

Because he’s 29

56 short of a maximum.

Dougle’s on the daytime drinkiepoos

Surprised the sad mackem cunt didn’t mention the particular quarter of town he was in or what rustic, arcadian, magnificent bon viveur he was enjoying at the time

you might mock with the post above, however this daft cunt here is moved to tears man, overwhelmed with it all in fact. the very pinnacle of his bucket list.....

Callum Wilson, the ultimate false 9.

Poppy needs to be larger

Devastated there’s only the four quadrants, so no space for a ‘No surrender’ let alone a ‘FTM’

Didn’t realise you were dislec… dysxlce … had trouble spelling. We can change your username to Doe Lug if that’s what you were originally aiming for? Here to hepl

The security bloke when the fantastic support which he's never seen the likes of before left to go to another bar.....

You are actually just a sitcom character arent you?

He reckons when you let the dog off, you casually clipped the lead to the left one.

WHOA! I was led to believe that I was the egotistical bellend. I better not be about to find out that this is what you say to all the boys.

he's not thinking straight mate. not surprising really when your club is playing not one, but two huge european games in the iconic pinatar arena. once in a lifetime experience.

Good luck? It's a fucking friendly you hirsute scruff.

Who the fuck is this cunt? 👆

Another day, another 🤝 for the mackems…this time one of the Glaswegian knuckledragging outfits who used to stand for a particular brand of Christianity but now just settles for influencing the politics of half a nation ☺️ Rangers v Man Utd at FUCKING MURRAYFIELD, EDINBURGH 🤣

This music follows CT around in the background.

You kinky beeaatch!

Are we making up arguments in our heads and getting annoyed by them now?

My dad reckoned he could clearly see your nipple rings peeping out the bottom of your crop top.

Also in a vape shop in the galleries yesterday and beneath the display of vapes was a glass shelf containing many coloured beads that a young woman was admiring. My daughter is quite into Taylor Swift and sharing friendship bands made of beads with other swiftees is quite a big thing. So I mozied over next to the young woman and bent down for a closer look, only to discover a sign saying “nipple rings”. She must have thought I was a right purve

basically said stop buying me shit goalkeepers, get your hands in your pockets and buy me a superstar right winger, 2nd striker and another central defender NOW as he's not happy we rarely even feature on beebs gossip column these days. and finally, stop acting like a bunch of saudi tarts, get some enormous sponsorship deals announced and if richard master's doesn't like it remind the cunt we've got a bone saw handy. well that's the way I interpreted it.

Thanks Michael Owen.

😂

Show your depreciation for this post 👆👏

Noticed on Facebook earlier it’s 10 years today since he passed away. I know it’s a cliché but it definitely only seems like yesterday. RIP fella.

Seaburn man! Fucking clit pearcings clearly visible. Almost put me off my curry and chips. (Almost )

They've outlined where he was found in chalk

He's now having a long rest.

Aye me too, thought he'd been to the head of the cue long ago.

You’re thinking of his brother, Count Dracula Reardon.

In fairness to me I have been up all night weeping about Amanda

Joe Willock would like a word.

Gerrin!!!!

No big club gives the manager free rein nowadays. Howe will leave the club one day, what we don’t need is the entire system leaving along with him.

“ffs Dougle I know it’s Saturday but I’ve told you before, no Whyte & McKay before 10am”

Makes you think

Then he needs to toughen up, or take the England job IMO. If we’re aiming to be an elite club then we need to start acting like one now - that includes adding in those additional checks and balances. I don’t think any fan disagrees with the performance director appointment after last year so I don’t personally see why Howe would either. As a manager I think he should appreciate that extra insight.

He shouldn’t be perplexed. Those coaches and medical staff oversaw a truly appalling injury crisis last season. He should be perplexed if they didn’t bring him in tbh.

Won’t speak to the widow because it interferes with his golf game but will kiss a dead bloke’s helmet.

He must be thicker than frozen whale spunk

Prototype shirts of yesteryear. These 2 would have been lush as this years shirts

ACCOUNTANT FIGHT!

Just seen this. Am fucking fewmin at the presecnce of Nothumberland mackems. 😠