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I dunno, the photos from training today don’t look good.

FTM'dYP

Smash cut to: Int Regis Le Bris's bedroom. Ponteland, Newcastle. 2:03am. A man lies awake on his back in bed. He stares unblinkingly at the ceiling. His face carries a look of something between confusion and regret. He closes his eyes for a second and we see a leering, fat man's face: "Ere marra," the fat man says. "D'yee knar wot FTM stands for?" Our view pans around a room filled with fat people in red and white tops that end at their belly button. Regis can't help but think that those tops look to be at least 3XL. They are laughing. They open their mouths and a blue liquid pours out between rotting teeth. The man in the bed opens his eyes and screams.

Aye, they were clearly devestated from the photo gallery Selena took.

Good ebening 😆

Little Englander twitter is up in arms about this btw. I kept reading about a front page and thinking what are they on about, this sounds really bad, and... Yeah, it was this.

He's a scab what more can I say 😂

I actually had you in mind should I ever need to make the upgrade from an air rifle to an ak47

Did you just stray into physics during a chemistry pun run?

Some journo called Joel Bland has pushed some nonsense about the players supposedly being "bewildered" to find out on Wednesday morning that Mandy and Mehrdad were leaving. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say the players don't give a flying fuck who the owners are. Some of them may have been on friendly enough terms with them, but big picture I doubt they'll be in a state of mourning. The attempt to sensationalize everything that happens at the club by the media would be laughable if it weren't so sad and emblematic of how clickbait journalism has become.

What we see: What CT sees:

Good stuff.

That cat looks like he has awful thoughts about ruling Germany in the 30s

Casa de Ryder

I have no idea about the third post is doing in their match thread

Gouffran, Marveaux, Obertan, Haidara, Mbiwa, Riveiere, Pancrate, Amalfitano, Cabella, Thauvin Tens of millions wasted on French shite trying to replicate the Cabaye deal

It appears their first pre-season game, versus Gateshead, ended in a resounding 2-1 victory for Gateshead.

Thiaw is a 22 year old RCB who plays for Germany and Milan. Sounds like a Botman type signing and likely Schar's long term successor. Not sure what's not to like. Elanga got 5 goals and 9 assists in a bang average Forest team least season. If we were signing him from a foreign team I reckon most fans would be more excited. He knows the league, is only 22, and knows how to play with Isak at international level.

Elanga with 14 goal involvements was responsible for roughly 30% of Forrest's goals last season. Without Elanga they'd have been relegated. Bit of an ungrateful sort your brother in law? 😉 Plus he's 22, if Howe wants him we'll have to trust that like with Gordon, who many weren't that excited about given he hadn't exactly ripped it up for Everton, he can see a vast amount of potential.

"Great bunch of lads."

Get to rubbing.

5XL ???? Does it come with guy lines and pegs?

Major Major has been posting on there for at least 20 years. Absolutely thrilled to discover that he's a big fat cunt who can't fit into a triple XL top.

Fucking hell

https://www.newcastleunited.com/en/news/newcastle-united-announces-agreement-to-change-its-ownership-structure Full article there. Mad quote from the chairman Yasir Al-Rummayan: "This CLUB is automatic. It's systematic. It's HYYYYDROMATIC. Why it's GREASED LIGHTNIN'!"

The Heed ended up not letting sunderland win , 3-2 Reggie Le Breves or whatever he’s called has already been deemed not good enough by some ( not all) of the muppets on Ready to Groom

Gouffran cost about £500k

Yeah I obviously agree with your assessment, but, and I know the internet isn't really reality, I've seen plenty turning their nose up at the mere mention of Elanga, and I'm sure there's plenty who'd rather we go for someone a bit more exciting than Thiaw such as Antonio Silva. As I said I'd be more than happy with both if it means we can spread the funds about a bit and get a decent forward as well. It would be insane to try for someone like a Bowen for example and basically blow our whole budget on one player. Bowen is a pretty extreme example, but you get what I mean. Even if we could spend what we wanted I'd still rather we largely tried to sign players just before they become internationally well known elite players.

Your man Bland who made the tweet about the players being bewildered by Mandy and Mehrdad leaving has said that a contract is agreed in principle for Thiaw. But given his other tweet I'm not sure how to take him. If these are our targets, as in Thiaw and Elanga, then I anticipate people being underwhelmed, but I honestly think they'd be very clever signings.

Must've been great night? (It took a few seconds to realise who Regis was?)

https://bylinetimes.com/2024/07/13/failed-firms-and-cv-boasts-little-known-new-reform-uk-mps-past-comes-under-scrutiny/ Big surprise to find out that Reform's fifth MP has a CV which is mostly made up (he claims to have worked for Lehman Brothers in 2010...the same Lehman Brothers that famously ceased to exist in 2008). He also turns out to have been jailed in his late teens for physically attacking his girlfriend whilst drunk.

I've said it before, but NUFC would be dead to me if I was in their shoes, fair enough if you happened to be watching motd and you knew we'd been hammered you might watch it but other than that I'd have us on ignore. Taking as big an interest in us now is surely not going to be doing them any good at all and we haven't even won anything. The absolute hammer blow to the gut it must've been for them when the takeover was announced after the high amusement when it kept getting delayed would've been delicious to witness in person.

Aye I quite enjoyed his book. More interesting bloke than most footballers.

I'm actually reading Nevin's book autobiography at the minute, how the fuck did he end up at Chelsea? He must be the absolute antithesis of a Chelsea fan, especially then? Comes across as a good egg anyway on the radio and the book backs that up.

https://x.com/deludedof/status/1812024000438034707?s=12&t=_JhUCoDPCaDM2qiBf831Jw Cognitive dissonance episode 6482926164

Exactly, you don't say "I don't know his background" like this unless you definitely do know his background. For sure Adolf is a wonderful artist. I don't know his background.

I genuinely hope I'm wrong.

Scotties are better than Westies for keeping rodents away, they'll also tell you to fuck off everytime you give them a command.

My dad had a rat that caught Westies.

It’s messrs, (from the plural of monsieur), you fake posh cunt from Blyth (or wherever)

Well I certainly offended my mother in law but fuck her, she's got no empathy at all.