Leaderboard

I don't know if it's just my latent hatred for Liverpool, but the media coverage of Liverpool's interest in Gordon seems very odd. No surprises there, of course, but it's interesting since we haven't really dealt with them recently in the transfer market. It's so lopsided that despite us never actually receiving even so much as an actual offer from them, there are multiple news reports of them "rejecting" our offer of Gordon to them. But from what I can tell the whole thing went: 1. They ask about Gordon's availability because they're vultures sensing we need to sell; 2. We ask about the availability of Quansah because we're technically willing to entertain the idea of selling any of our players for the right price; 3. They say Quansah isn't available. 4. We say, ok, neither is Gordon unless you've got 100m or thereabouts. 5. They say no thanks. 6. End of story. I doubt very much also that Gordon's head has been turned. The source would be some scouse muppet in the England squad like TAA or whoever thinking everyone wants to play for them and telling some tinpot journalist that Gordon is heartbroken at Newcastle "REJECTING", sorry, Liverpool "REJECTING" Newcastle's offer to sell Gordon. I'm quite confused as to how you can enquire about the availability of an asset. Get a response. And then REJECT their response as though it's some sort of concrete offer is beyond me. "THAT'S A NICE CAR!" "Thanks." "I DON'T WANT IT! NO THANKS! I'M HAPPY WITH MY CAR!" "..." Anyway, in reality where the rest of the world lives, the scouse appear to have asked about Gordon's availability. We undoubtedly gave the prudent response that he's available for the right price (like all of our players are available in this stupid world of PSR that everyone except the cartel has to deal with now). And they had no intention of meeting our valuation because they had hoped they could just pick the bones off our rotting corpse like the dirty scavengers that they are. No such luck. Reading between the lines Liverpool's media offensive really has the vibes of a "you can't dump me you're dumped" kind of teenage boy with a paper thin ego type thing about it from Liverpool. Similar to ManU's response to the Ashworth situation really. The media just seems like it's an extension of a ManU or Liverpool social media platform at times with them desperately trying to convince themselves amongst themselves that their clubs are still the focal point of everything in the footballing world. Then the rest of us are all left to watch in bemusement while Liverpool/ManU try to tell us they have a new girlfriend, we wouldn't know her though, she goes to another school. Pathetic losers.

And I know just the man!

Probably the best "caught wanking in Morrisons car park" excuse I've ever heard.

canny video that if you listen with his voice turned off and watch it with your eyes closed.

Tory HQ: I know, those plebs on toontastic are more dog people, let's try this one Rufus.

I don't know what's more pathetic, chanting for Boris Johnson, or trying and failing to get a Rishi Sunak chant going. Fucking sadsacks.

"It's English, Jim, but not as we know it."

My seagull story I was leaving Morrisons during the recent hot spell and had my drivers window open about 10 cms. A seagull managed to shit whilst flying at some weird angle and it landed on my thigh. No shit whatsoever anywhere else on the outside of the car. Precision bombing indeed.

Btw, you have to hand it to Guido. Two years ago, they had their fingers right on the pulse and predicted all of this.

Two days ago this was still parody

"Things can only get better sang the labour supporters as passers by in Downing Street looked on in disbelief as the crowd serenaded the new PM as the man who would be king, one Sir Kier Starmer, was crowned last night. The man who once defended Peter Sutcliffe at the Old Bailey'on his dinner break at school got the keys to number ten Downing Street and when I asked him how he was feeling said, 'Lee, as one Knight to another, the burden of responsibility is huge, me to run this Magnificent country of ours and yours to keep your readers informed of events at the cathedral on the hill. We can but roll our sleeves up and get on with the job!" He then totally blanked someone who looked like Simon Bird at the back of the press pack who tried to ask him a question before going through that famous black door before giving your intrepid man on the NUFC beat a little nod. Things had got better indeed! Lol! Ryder and out...... What?.....err sorry.....This is Lee Ryder at Downing Street, for the Ronald Gill esquire. Over to you, young Waughy!"

@Renton

And what sort of name is that ? Must originate from the London Borough of Acne

I've got a cat and a dog. Labour are lucky I've already voted by post.

I mean COME ON!

Yesterday's man. I wonder how much he was paid to do that? He wouldn't be doing it for any other reason.

At my new work a kid asked a few of us how we were voting? He obviously didn't have a clue as he asked 'are ukip still around?' the bloke training me said he'd already voted by post and was voting reform. He's been sound so far so it's a bit of a shame to find out he's easily conned or just a straight up racist idiot. Two other blokes said nothing but I said labour and just mentioned to the kid he wouldn't have his holiday pay, workers rights etc if that party hadn't existed and left it at that. I don't think the younger kid will vote as it happens. The daft thing is they're working at a non unionised workplace, the wage is a fucking disgrace for what they're doing and one of them is voting reform? Sometimes you get what you you deserve but you also drag others down.

“Ooo. Tell me what colour blouse you’re wearing”

I don't know what the fuck you lads imagine is happening in terms of service at 5 star hotels. Basically the rooms are nicer and you get a decent feed. That's it. You don't get your own personal butler or anything.

"You fucking want some?"

His wife is an even bigger prick than him.

Rishi Sunak has just been asked what his favourite food is, and his answer was "sandwiches".

Me if this happens.

Matterface on the full time whistle: it's the young turks that will be running free tonight. How the fuck has ITV ended up with this no-mark as their main commentator?

The cunts are blocking quite a few autobahns with their volkswagen. It’s annoying.

This is delicious. Tomorrow night.

Is this Adam Pearsons private jet?

tremendous, by the way

At least we don't have to see that shit tattoo for a bit.

Getting some familiar vibes from that photo, Sunak has the same shit level of banter too.

Man Utd about to sack a 1/4 of their staff. All hail Sir Jim. A man of the people.

"XL Gully" Like it. Some scary photos there but disappointingly no league table and no mention of the NE.

Honestly think she’d be more of an asset to a Labour government as Tory leader. That said, she’s a dangerous, bona fide mentalist so she can get tae fuckin fuck

Yeah. Been frustrating but Starmer's approach to the election has been proven to be correct. The tory client media have been utterly starved as ammunition to the extent they are attacking him for taking some family time off on a Friday night. Well played.

this is quite the take. as far as i see the gordon story (stop me if i've got the timeline wrong): it was reported (can't remember who broke it) that liverpool approached us for gordon knowing we were scrambling to beat the psr deadline we said, okay, we'll entertain an offer, how much for quansah in exchange? they said he's not for sale, we'll give you £60m for gordon (conveniently the exact amount needed to clear our psr deficit). we said, thanks but no thanks. then it was reported on the bbc that we "offered" gordon to liverpool, no quotes from anyone to support this. and that liverpool walked away. now gordon's "head has been turned" - no mention of who he told this to. and according to the scouse bloggers, we're paving the way for his exit this window by taking control of the narrative. i hope he stays but everyone has a price - he's a £100m winger now

The rotor blade did WHAT 😱

This is spot on

Pwease vote for us and stop this poor lickle kitty cat feeling sad

Getting Johnson in to try and save the campaign easily beats either of those

Glazed ham rolled on a stable floor. Superb.

Got to assume we're getting a right winger in to replace almiron in which case we've got Gordon/Barnes for the left and New Guy/Murphy on the right. Plus potential cover by Joelinton or Isakif things get particularly bad. That's probably fine for a season with no europe.

“Aah divvint think thi would like yi little dafty yi” - Winston Churchill