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Dave: Barber, do you have anything to keep my hair in. Barber: How about this box, sir?

"Telt us to call her Mary but I chanced me arm with a marra and she just went with it. She'll alwiz be Lady Marra to me."

Mustn't be wedding season.

Funny how the Conference League was a pile of shite when we had one foot in it prior to the Cup Final, but suddenly it's got enough draw to lure our best players away. What changed?

John Hall's wife is called Lady Mae btw. Not Lady Mary. Fucking stupid mackem cunt.

RTG seems opposed to Reform, which im quite shocked by.. It wasn't long before a fantasy story appeared though: "Did some work at his part of wynyard hall When talking to him , it was Sir or Sir John . Mrs hall , when near to him was to be called Lady Mary , out of earshot of him , she told me to call her Mary ,and in her words "we've come from the same place , he's forgotten that , lost his roots " Nice lady , bigot of a man"

Since nobody asked, but I like a bit of cosmological chit chat; As well as Earth and the other planets rotating around the Sun, the Sun itself also rotates. However, because it’s not a solid, it spins at different rates - its equator completes a rotation every 24 days, but near its poles it takes 35 days to do the same. Mercury, the planet nearest to the Sun, takes 88 days to orbit the Sun. We take just over 365 days, and Pluto takes just over 248 years to orbit the Sun. The Solar System is also orbiting the black hole at the centre of the Milky Way, at a speed of roughly 515,000mph, taking about 230 million years to complete an orbit. Since its birth, the Sun has completed 18 Galactic orbits. The last time the Sun was in the position it is now, the Trilobites had just gone extinct and all the continents were joined as Pangaea.

I mean Hall's comments about "English people are white" are absolutely reprehensible. Shitty, shitty person. This might kill off the Reform vote in Sunderland by the sound of their reaction. If only we'd thought on, we could have had Shearer campaigning for Brexit and we might still be in Europe.

Came for the Newcastle chat, stayed for the hay fever advice

Southgate putting some sun protection on as he goes in the swimming pool on holiday....

skylon, probably the hardest man in sunderland, arguably the hardest man in england, but most definitely the hardest man on the internet mocking our 7th place finish... a sunderland supporter would need to be well in to their 80s to have any kind of lucid memory of them finishing higher than that, and well in to their 60s to have any recollection of them last kicking a ball in anger in europe. sometimes its probably best just not to try and take the piss..

I've been watching numerous YouTube videos on Cosmology recently. The James Webb telescope makes the Hubble look like a pair of binoculars. There are a 100 billion stars in the Milky-way. There are 2, 000 billion galaxies in the visible universe. Nobody knows how far the Universe extends outside the visible universe (93 billion light years). The universe might be infinite, or there may an infinity of universes in a multiverse. Things are no less mind blowing when you go the other direction and look at the incredibly small or consider deep time. It's absolutely mind blowing. And people are still killing themselves over a tribal myth from the Middle East. We really are a stupid species.

Aye, he's an arsehole, he's completely winging it, and he's gonna fuck it right up. I think I'm in love.

Andy Cole and Les Ferdinand say hello Sir John, you ridiculous reactionary self centred Tory bastard

Fucking hell, just seen this: Somewhere in Fenham, LM is in the bacon shed.

Hurrey up and tak us through ya plans for chucking out brewn peypal Nige, marra aah anly get 45 minutes for mey bait.

"Ere marra, am not beeyun rayucist but can yer gerroff me fuckun motor. Takkin fuckun liberteys ere like!"

Same person, right? Aye, just checked, she is a tory councillor. Why has she always voted Labour? https://democracy.lbhf.gov.uk/mgUserInfo.aspx?UID=1828

Should’ve sent the beeb. They’d have found a few loyal ones

I do find it funny how he won’t try Gomez at LB when he’s played there all season for Liverpool but will try TAA in CM when he rarely plays there for Liverpool. About sums the whole tournament up

them spurning the opportunity to play in the intertoto cup in the very early '00s, indeed even taking the piss out of it means that an entire generation of sunderland supporters born post november '73 will live their lives and very probably die without them ever seeing a competitive european match. shame that.

I think Reform’s success, if they get anything like those 19 seats, will be their undoing. Because a little bit of scrutiny will reveal their abhorrent views

What an ocean going fuckin cunt this fucker is.. the entire fan base will hate him very soon iyam…

"How pet, yer knarr the hours daylight is past the zenith? Aye, it's downhill this year from now hinny. Takin' of years, ye've had more orbits now then ye're getting in the future pet....." "Pet?"

Not now Silent Singer!

The suspicion with which the kids observe the bloke as he recounts the glory days of Eric Gates scoring a goal, and Gary Bennett trying to strangle David Speedie.

southgate and the mrs getting it on

French style employment laws? Erm, yes please say 90% of working people. I guess this means they are completely trying to firm up their core gammon vote of selfish as fuck pensioners. But this is why they are where they are. Next week can't come fast enough.

These'll be all the relatives that don't get the wedding invites.

Latest electoral calculus MRP poll of polls (updated 22nd June) is mental. Labour predicted to get 450 seats. Reform 19 (videprinter: NINETEEN). Tories 61 seats and that would, if correct, see Ed Davey as the leader of the opposition (Libdems on 70 MPs). https://www.electoralcalculus.co.uk/prediction_main.html

"Ere Nigel mayut. Listen, av gorra lorra time for yer, absolewtley loved what yer done with Brexit n that, an I ayut.... I meeyn I absolewtley ayut the Muslums. But did yiz av ter bring a fuckun mag with yer?! Wuh dinnit like Sir John round ere marra."

TBF, it's been a good long while since I had any fondness for Mr MetroCentre and ardent Thatcher fan, hall. Couldn't get his shekels quick enough from Ashley after he'd made a pretty penny from NUFC for a few years.

Not unlike Peston’s absolute determination to make the betting thing a huge, cross-party scandal. Even though there’s fuck all evidence that’s the case and not to mention there’s zero equivalence between those close to the PM using inside information to bet on the election date and, for example, Ed Davey having a few quid in how many seats the Lib Dems were going to win in a previous GE.

The BBC debate last night. This bloke Robert gets up and reads a pre-approved question which is basically "Sunak, you're a mediocre PM, Starmer, you're being controlled by people high up in the Labour Party. Are you two really the best this country can do?" So, an insult, framed as a question, with some conspiracy theory nonsense thrown in. Read from a printed card, so clearly pre-approved. And then BBC Breakfast this morning, reporting on the debate says: "but perhaps the night belonged to Robert"... And plays his question and the applause that followed it in full. This is the BBC deciding the story of the night in advance by allowing someone to stand up and insult the PM and presumptive PM, and then reporting it the next morning as the main story of the debate. Please just fuck off.

Latest ploy by the conservatives, to say a vote for Labour is a "surrender". Which is patroinising bollocks which I am sure yet again will be counterproductive. People of this country need to STAND UP AND FIGHT!

@LongTimeAdmirer I honestly wouldn't fret about it, the ability to send messages on here is like one of CT's new hobbies, it seems like a great idea at first but after a couple of weeks you'll never use it again.

We all look forward to the 3 monthly updates before the gifs of John Travolta start around Christmas time.

He is more athletic, has played there regularly this season and would offer more flexibility in tucking in to be a 3rd CB while Walker can go high ( a bit like Man City / we do). It’s a moot point though as Southgate will stick with the same team (bar Mainoo) on Sunday.

Tell her this to be extra cheery. The Earth goes round the sun. How many orbits do you think you have left. 40? Maybe less if you are unlucky? Makes you think.

Probably Edgar but definitely Mainoo or Bellingham. TAA hasn’t played enough there. It’s too different to FB in terms of where you receive the ball, the time and space etc. He’s got the attributes to play there in terms of physicality and skill set but not the know how and experience at present.

The Greek word for "Georgia" is the same as the Greek word for "agriculture". Fun fact. Well, fact.

The guardian are reporting that we've made an enquiry about Tomori off AC. A name we've heard before of course, but I think I'm right in saying that this is the first time a somewhat credible source has made mention of our interest. He's right footed, pacey, comfortable on the ball, has prem experience, still relatively young at 26, and appears to be equally comfortable playing as either a left or right sided centre back. So he'd be a very decent choice if we can get him for a price we can afford. I'd be very concerned about someone from the top six gazumping us on wages at the last minutes, but I suppose that's always a concern.