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"Fuuuucking hell. The daft cunt's anny went straight in with the atmosphere question. FFS, you start with the entertainers questions first, man. Fucking kid's an amateur. Wouldn't last two seconds in the Thompson House bear pit!"

Looking forward to that official club video. "So Lloyd.... Welcome to Newcastle United. What have you heard about that famous St James Park atmosphere?" Next question: "What do you think it's gonna be like playing in front of that famous St James Park atmosphere?"

Also a core English city, cultural centre, quite a famous party city, medieval city, "proper" University centre, actually have national and international transport links, and, of course, the sports washing centre of the European arm of the Saudi caliphate. Sunderland? *checks notes*. Not so much.

Think the scouting team overheard Mrs Wykiki saying our new striker should have a crock like wilson. Makes sense why we are being linked with DCL?

@Dr Gloom making headlines again I see

You didn’t need that last sentence

Or their homophobia - regularly refer to gay people as "the gays" when they make their shit up about gay people being thrown from buildings. Or in the derby build up talking about dressing up as immensely gay stereotypes to support the LGBT community. I also love the fact that they expect us to be outraged and take to the streets about human rights abuses in Saudi but they have done less than fuck all about it - unless you count rehashing their racist propaganda, half truths and outright lies on RTG All of their virtue would go right out the window if some middle eastern prince offered to buy out the frat boy. They'd wank off their dads (for a third time that day) just to lend his tea towel to get down the stadium in time for Look North.

So he cut short his time at the D-Day commemoration event to do a damaging interview?

European teams have to look us up because *checks notes* we’ve actually played in Europe and there is a chance we’re a fixture for them. Love a good self own do the mackems.

Well said Vinicius Jr

I was talking to a mag at work and I pointed out I’d been talking to AC Milan fans and after they told me they hate the mags anarl they said they had to lewk up Newcastle on a map. But they knew exactly where it was once they realised it was about 10 miles from Sunderland

Peter Withe in attendance?

e-scooters are so 2019 I’ve moved on

The obligatory physio room moment will be a bit awkward. "You can just put your stuff over there, here's where you'll be sleeping."

I don't know who they're trying to appeal to with this stuff. Rishi Sunak is...... Top Twat!

Thick Ric at it again. Posting a letter from the Cabinet Secretary claiming it proves the £2k thing when actually it doesn't. I know he'll just be hoping that normal people won't bother reading it, but the incompetence and dishonesty of these people is wild. Not to mention their contempt for voters. This bloke shouldn't even be a leading figure in a post-election Tory party with sub 150 seats, never mind one with a decent majority.

On a free this is a no brainer. Good player with good pace (which we don't have loads of in the back 4 currently). A lot better than what most people think imo.

I love the way they just can't hide their racism and xenophobia. "backwards Eastern European teams" ffs. The fucking brass neck, what do they think Sunderland is in comparison?

Nice, thats an extra £10,000 in the PSR transfer kitty!

You realise that’s David Dickinson in my display picture, aye? Tbf he looks his age, and I also look his age. Also, some offence taken.

This explains A LOT about your contributions to the jokes thread.

"tete a tete". Dave. This sort of thing is really not OK.

Now - "I wouldn't class that as sports washing like", and "all Saudis aren't evil man" A literal member of the Saudi royal family doesn't count, but an investment fund does

So basically cut welfare so you can make tax cuts. What is wrong with these people. No improvements to services, just take from the worst off and give to the better off.

It's mad. With FoM, you had young people from the EU filling gaps in employment and returning home after a few years or on a seasonal basis. Reciprocated with our kids of course. Now we have entire families arriving from different continents on visas, and they are not returning. And of course, lets face it, they are the wrong colour and creed for the average Brexiter. But few will admit they are wrong even now. It's been an utter disaster and nobody can even talk about it now.

The Guardian has published some graphical data on immigration. When you look at this one (legal immigration, >95% of it), you can see the effect of Brexit clearly. Net decline in Europeans now, "expats" forcibly returning (often older people who need the NHS), and an exponential climb in non-Europeans, mainly from India and Nigeria iirc. I'm gald all Brexiters are getting exactly what they wanted.

I think it’s a power play to get more right wing madness (like leaving the ECHR) into the actual one. Probably just to position themselves as the next leader after the election. I can’t see how they could conceivably launch an alternative one. It would take a ridiculously poor campaign to new depths. As Renton alludes to, these sorts of moves from a party in government, in an actual election campaign, just highlight what a lame duck the pm is.

Wait on. You're on to something. Ffs is why she married me! She is a pretend nurse! And not dressed like MF likes them to be

Why is he talking about Europe and European clubs? Why is he talking about us trying to claim something when they're the masters of claiming everything that isn't inside the old city walls of Newcastle? If their catchment area claims were real they'd be getting crowds of 85,000 on a regular basis the fucking raging, lunatic. (Also love to see them playing against whatever backward European clubs he could only dream of competing against).

Well, well, well. Another Everton moment from Gemmill.

Since this was announced earlier, this Ciotti's party has all told him to get fucked. 2 of his Senators have resigned, loads have spoken out and said they want no part of this alliance, and it's actually potentially worked in Macron's favour.

Aye but the FA is still pining for Liverpool, everyone’s (ie. Half of Liverpool, some of Ireland and a subsection of wales) favourite plucky underdog. They can’t disadvantage them any further than the poor, skint cunts already are.

I went to a fairs cup thing a few years ago after a mate had a spare, was good crack actually, there was Frank (knew everyone's father) Clark, David Craig, (just turned 80) and John Gibson who was on form with his never ending glasses of wine, there was also a brief guest appearance from an even earlier player and character, Ron (Cassius) McGarry who was getting on a bit but still a bit of a joker. McGarry used to have a bookies round the corner from us in the 80's and would be standing outside asking passers by who'd obviously been to the match if it was a good game? He once asked my dad what the match was like after seeing me with a NUFC cap on or something walk past his shop so my dad gave him his opinion on the game. After we walked past my dad said he used to be Newcastle's striker but I just thought he was an old gadgie so wasn't sure whether to believe him!

Destitute, sucking cock for baccy?

So the tories are cutting NI again, funded by cutting disability and sickness benefits, at a time they have ruined the NHS. Standard. Deep breaths. Just over 3 weeks to go until they are gone.

Have you not noticed Sunak has no spine at all? It is another line Labour has not needed, but the truth is, if by some miracle Sunak was re-elected, he would not be PM by Christmas. Vote Sunak, get *some random nutter*. Just struck me there pondering Braverman and Badenoch as candidates. It's fucking weird the leadership for this far right frankly racist anti-immigration party are both women of colour and second generation immigrants (also Sunak himself). I can't see them lasting too long before the inevitable.

Aye. Also Braverman loves Farage whilst Badenoch hates him. Difficult to see what will rise from the ashes of the COnservative party but first we have to reduce it to ashes.

Braverman is in one of the few safe seats. But I think the annoyance of being pretty much an irrelevance will reveal just how unhinged she actually is. Same with Badenoch (who is even worse). Part of the reason they’re going to struggle to make up ground any time soon, unless labour has an absolute nightmare, is because what’s left of the decimated parliamentary party is going to be the loons. They’ll continue their failed culture wars because they don’t have anything else.

Apparently there are "frank exchanges" after Brand goes after Sunak on his wealth and unrelatability. Which basically means Sunak being a squeaky little bitch. Should be good.

Now that all bets are off for teams playing together in the CL despite group ownership conflicts why not bring the blue dippers in as a feeder club for us despite being in the same league. That's how this works, right? In any case, the blue mackems already got some practice in at selling us their best talent at cut prices. So should be a smooth transition.

They’ve never fucking shut up about Mags wearing football tops since the two bit County Durham outfit supplying their kits couldn’t meet the demand.

NJS is right about a lot of people being cunts. Although I think a fair proportion of people naturally conservative leaning are selfish rather than outright racist etc. I mean the two things aren’t mutually exclusive but the reason I think they’re fucked as a party for a while is people have long memories. And it’s those selfish cunts that have been negatively financially impacted that have turned against them now. In the past I didn’t agree with them, but you could see why those comfortably off, middle class people would vote for them. They were looked after in terms of being better off and taxed lower. At least that was the perception. Now that’s not the case, public services are crumbling, everything including your mortgage costs more etc. There’s not really many people they can appeal to. It’s really just my parent’s generation, who retired on daft pensions in their 50s who don’t pay a mortgage as it was paid off decades ago. There’s precious few people left that are insulated from what the Tories have done and there’s not another generation coming that have it that good. Obviously that’s not the extent of their dubious appeal but in general they’ve fucked off their traditional base