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"People say if I'd gone to Man United, Alex Ferguson would have kept me on the straight and narrow. Eric Cantona kicked someone in the neck, Wayne Rooney went with a granny, and Ryan Giggs went with his brother's wife...... Maybe I would have fitted in after all"

MFYP

Kos was fucking mental when I went in June a couple of years ago. If I had your complexion, I’d just walk around inside a portable radiation shield

I don't know why you're laughing, Arran the other day was positively Mediterranean...

We're going in August. We got a swim-up room, so I can just see me lying inside on the bed all day and occasionally walking out in a morph suit and dunking myself in the pool.

I had a quick look at the weather forecast for the place in Turkey we’re off to next month. It’s going to reach 44c / 111f today

Bang on again.

I mean he could’ve been nervous as it was the first tv debate. That’s another reason I think these things are shite. The idea the best ‘performer’ = the best PM is fucking ridiculous. It’s the reason you end up with cunts like Johnson in the job.

If the Spectator is going after the Tories then it really is all over for them

That was about halfway up.

Inevitably Will Still whi was the best young manager in the world has suddenly become overhyped shit since joining another club. https://www.readytogo.net/smb/threads/will-still-rumours.1632992/

We’re off on a road trip to the sun tomorrow…Manchester, Alnmouth and Scotland Pet Shop Boys on Sunday night at Co Op Live though 🕺 💃😀 Then a few days in Gods Country walking the mutt on the beaches before the frankly middle class pretentious-fest of the Scottish Borders Book Festival in Melrose (with the utter debauchery of Scotland v Germany with my brother in Edinburgh neatly sandwiched in 😆)

Aye, and the format BTW. 45 seconds. Then you've got people screaming that Starmer won't tell anyone his policies. FORTY FIVE SECONDS BITCH! With some little cunt trying to interrupt you every time you open your gob. You try laying out policy. They would be much better off doing long form interviews where they actually get into policy and why it will work.

Oof. We've booked Kos for next summer so I'm fully expecting forest fires next year.

Possible? One of the Guardian journalists earlier linked to a section of the debate where Starmer looks like he's trying to mention the letter but he gets shut down by Etchingham. Which would confirm that he DID know about the letter and was at least letting Sunak repeat it multiple times on the night: If this is right, he's basically Perry Mason.

A mate of a mate of mine worked for South Tyneside council and got covered after hitting a large bag of dog shit with a strimmer. He doesn’t drive so he then had to get the bus home.

Fraser Nelson of the Spectator coming for the Tories now.

I thought it was noticeable how little stick Pickford got the other night (probably because he was angling for a move here in his recent interview ) Remember when they applauded Townsend for 90 minutes straight when he played for England at their place whilst a toon player? Nah me neither.

Welcome to my summers. 😎

Hope Gazza doesn't listen to it, given it opens with an advert for Beer52.

100% agree and that was another reason I thought ‘fuck this’. I get you have to have some sort of rough limit in order to get all the questions in. 45 seconds though? I think the first question took nearly that long to ask.

I turned it off after 10 minutes. It was unbearable to watch. Have we ever had two bigger helium suckers as prime ministerial candidates btw? Starmer's failure to shut down the £2k thing even in the first few minutes was insane. All you have to do is say "You've made that number up, we're not 5 minutes into this, and already you're lying to the British public live on TV." Instead he looked, certainly in the early exchanges, like he wasn't quite sure himself if he was gonna put taxes up by £2k or not.

We watched the Kevin Bridges Netflix special and Last Kingdom 7 kings must die rather than listen to either of that pair fuckin poltroons

In slightly related news, I’ve just spent 5hrs on the phone with Lloyds recovering £4,500 from my Mam’s current account, fucking scumbag scammers got her with a “family member in trouble” text scam. Utter fucking cunts. I have to say that the lass from the bank was absolutely fantastic- once she realised that my Mam had been completely duped, she very subtly steered the conversation towards my Mam’s health, and got responses from her that enabled her to tick whatever boxes were necessary for a full, instant refund on the grounds of temporary bewilderment. Keep an eye on your older relatives chaps, even when they’re compos mentis it can still happen to them.

it fucking better be us. while I appreciate they probably haven't wanted to appear to be rocking the boat too much less than 3 years in, I can't help but feel the saudis have been acting like a bunch of fucking pussies up to now. it's time our ownership put their necks on the block.

Man City have brought legal action against the Premier League to get rid of the related party transaction rules. Have I ever told you what a great bunch of lads you all are, @LondonBlue?

Mags getting chinned as usual, this time from West Ham fans pissed off at us for something or other?

The MLF on the right was on pocket cheese duties for this infiltration, but let down the side by bringing tubes of Primula. Bald MLF is merely putting him right.

The amount of raging hard ons down wearside way in fevered anticipation of getting wound up by something someone might've said tonight was always going to happen. Presenter: "And welcome to our England game here on channel 4 at St. James' Par....." MLF: "Ah fucking knew it!! Right up theya mag arses alreddy!!!!"

Looks like she’s buttering the cheeks as she waddles out, mind.

The next round of MRPs are gonna be terrifying for the Tories.

I don't think Starmer and Sunak will attend the 7 way debate. I think they might send deputies. Might be wrong like.

Are you me?

"It's really tricky to say just what these polls are telling us at this moment in time and that's all they are, a snapshot in the day they were taken."

I hope he wrecks the Tories and still loses in Clacton.