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or we could just sell ourselves shearer's bar for £1b.

According to the press conference, Wilson is expected to be back for Sunday, so it sounds like he's recovered from his falling out with Howe.

Sky: "Title shoot out D-Day!!!! Don't forget to tune into sky for the greatest ever title shoot out since the last one a couple of years ago! Will Peps man City make it four in a row or will Arteta's Arsenal be crowned champions? And on the third channel, bring your handkerchiefs and be prepared for a real weepie as Jürgen Klopp says farewell to Liverpool football club in what's sure to be an emotional day where we'll insert cliche after cliche and drain every bit of spunk from the Liverpool cock. *For all other games of varying importance which we couldn't give a fuck about if we're being completely honest, head over to sky sports news for a quick update with the stand-in presenter, Clinton Morrison, the Eusebio of championship early 2000s Palace, Sue Smith who once played for a lasses team , no idea who and probably England but we haven't really checked, look she's a lass, ok? What's your problem? The Dawson kid who played for a mediocre Spurs and the Scottish pudding who played semi professional football for Rangers when the SPL was 90% into it's terminal decline."

won't be happy till the fat cunt trips over in front of a steamroller.

Exactly. That table doesn't account for the likes of the decision Gordon didn't get on Wednesday where VAR wrongly didn't intervene.

Know who ET's source is? ET phone Howe.

Trippiers next club be be within a 30 min drive of where his mother in law lives I reckon

Sunak is absolutely godawful tbh, it's actually sort of incredible that he's not given in already. I wonder what sort of silverwear they're selling under the table while they wait for the inevitable...

😂 Sports Direct has lost a Court of Appeal bid over Newcastle United's exclusive football kit supply deal with rival retailer JD Sports.

We've definitely got space to spend this season. TV Money, League position payment, decent cup runs, CL money, Adidas deal, Saudia Formula E tie-in. Saleable assets are; Almiron £15-£20m Longstaff £25m Wilson £15m Targett £10m Lascelles £5-10m Krafth £2m Hayden £2m Fraser £3m Dubravka £1m c£80-£90m Plus dumping some wages from the likes of Hendrick, Ritchie, Dummett, Karius Now, lets be conservative and say we can't even raise 1/2 that amount from player sales. So, £30m plus change. Add that to 70% of the amount provided by the club's revenue which was £250m in 22/23 and our budget could be £205m (30+175) on fees and wages, amortised over the length of the contracts.

It's all bollocks really, how many non decisions will that include where they don't even show a replay?

If Comedy Dave tells a joke in a forest and no one else is there. Is it still not funny?

'murphy has more assists than almiron BUT WE AREN'T READY TO HAVE THAT CONVERSATION' Who's 'we' and why does he want a conversation about it? There's another one on mute. That kid, not you, Wykiki.

Talk about internet security eh? What's all your postcodes?

He's fucking useless. Starts not answering the question, instantly gets snippy when it's pointed out, and then tries to do the same thing again and just talks over people. The more people see of him, the worse the polls are gonna get.

Wouldn't be a big surprise if Mouth Of The Tyne just knows before Ramsdale does.

I really don't get that vibe from Wilson at all. Especially when sharing a cuppa with him after he's been for a service. Errr I mean, seen him interviewed. He comes across as a grounded bloke. He will 100% want to play and when he does he is a serious threat. BUT he surely realises he is a year older, his injuries this year and his history of injuries he isn't going to be a main starter, especially when we have Isak.

"Hirsute? Homosexuals? Bears? C'mon, work with me here!"

ET's his top nark. He gets information through telepathy with the movers and shakers in the transfer market. He's just got to look at a photo of Jamie Rueben and our five year transfer targets are imprinted in his brain. He then spills the beans to Mouth of the Tyne at the area 51 rendezvous point.

Aye, Seen the latest Sean Casey transfer video there as well

Sounds like it's his Mrs who wants away. Whether thats because he's getting his pipe wet or what? I've seen some moaning about him, but for me he will have been one of the main catalysts for our survival and I've really enjoyed seeing him at the club.

If I were Labour I would hammer this home. How can a man whose wealth has increased by a staggering 100-200 MILLION quid (depending which data you use) in a single year: Possibly relate to normal people. Not be conflicted to introduce policies to boost his personal wealth. How many working people people are going to buy the "policy of envy" bollocks? We can all fucking see what is happening by now.

He gets asked a question about damp on the walls and growing up in poverty, and starts talking about the Online Safety Bill. There's not giving a straight answer to a question and there's completely ignoring what's been asked and answering something else.

Down boy @Monkeys Fist 🙂

With special guest Mike Dean - a cunt's cunt if you will..

Unsurprisingly Sky has decided to show Klopp's dead rubber send off over our push for European football on the final day.

I'm gonna have to start collecting royalties on this joke.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/article/2024/may/16/dead-hand-of-the-immovable-glazers-keeps-strangling-manchester-united If the picture Liew paints is accurate, Man United are a club in slow decline, and Ratcliffe's involvement is probably just a very convenient way for the Glazers to divert the blame and avoid scrutiny, whilst continuing to leech money from the club. Happy days.

we should buy the mackem's keeper. no idea if he's any good, but we should buy him anyway.

Incorrect. But Pope is better than ramsdale, we need a younger keeper to push pope next season and take over when necessary

https://x.com/AaronRamsdale98/status/1791528186473259511

You could ask him what the ET eh? of his punchline is.

The binman working from home would be a disaster tbf.

Mouth of the Tyne knows absolutely fuck all. He pops up on my X feed. You should see the knee jerk after the Man Utd game.

I must've caught the tail end of the poster as other than the name I can't remember too much about him?

https://www.theguardian.com/football/the-gentleman-ultra/article/2024/may/16/roberto-baggio-retired-20-years-ago-divine-ponytail-san-siro @ciaomanheyman Also, where the fuck has that 20 years gone? One of my favourite players ever (and one of my least favourite posters)

He’s been a great servant. A touch of class on and off the field at the start of the rebuild who helped elevate the players around him. We have a ready made replacement with Tino. If Bayern offered a cheeky £12m you’d have to consider it

Or @Howmanheyman is

If it doesn't get formally published, it gets leaked, cos the press always report who voted for what.