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@Gemmill, reading these puns.

For fuck’s saké

Well, I'm Shogun miss those boys.

Judo thought so

Ramen to that, brother.

Pity Ashworth isn't going to be there with the team, it's very handy to have a second Dan in Japan.

don't get bento out of shape

Getting proper commando vibes with those NUFC adverts....

It’s awful anyway- they blur all the balls.

I'll not be stopping up to watch the games, they'll not start till Tenko clock at night UK time.

Feeling a bit off key today. Whilst I fucking love late spring and summer, is anyone feeling a bit down the footy season is almost over (forgetting about this Euro bollocks)? Weekends aren't the same. Also, going to the match in summer is just so much better than winter, yet this year probably only the last match at SJP was T shirt weather. I'd much rather the footballing break was in winter personally. I know this would make winter more unbearable, but freezing your nuts off in January isn't great anyway. Also this place takes a dip in Summer because footy's finished and strangely some of you freaks have better things to do on sunny days. Roll on August!

a couple of seasons of Man U and Liverpool making up the numbers in mid table would be a thing of beauty. Imagine the inquest and anguish on sky.

Some place full of Mags ✅ Help for heroes ✅ FTM ✅ Sunderland shirts ✅ Mag shirts ✅ 🎵 Is this the real life? Is this just parody? Caught in a leyague slide No escape from reality Open your eyes Look up to the Mags and see I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy Cos I'm not easy come, easy go Little high, very low Any way the crisp packet blows doesn't really matter to me (to me) Marra Just saw a mag Put a gun against my head, pulled my trigger Now I'm dead Marra, life had just begun But now I've gone and thrown it all away Marra, oo-oo-oo Didn't mean to make you cry If I'm not back again this time tomorrow Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters Too late, our time has come We've got no deycent spine, getting beytan all of the time Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go Gotta leave you all behind and face the trewth Marra, oo-oo-oo (the wind blows) I don't want to die I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all I see a little silhouetto of a man Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango? Thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening me Gary Rowell, Gary Rowell Gary Rowell, Gary Rowell ,Gary Rowell Fat Marco and Gary Bennoo oh-oh-oh I'm just a poor MLF nobody loves me He's just a MLF, even Bilbao dint want to know him Spare him his life from this monstrosity Easy come, easy go, will you let me go? Exile says! No, we will not let you go (Let him go!) Keyth says, We will not let you go (Let him go!) Lewk O'Nien says We will not let you go (Let me go) will not let you go (Let me go) never let you go (Let me go) (never) let you go (let me go) No, no, no, no, no, no, no Oh, marra mia, marra mia (marra mia, let me go) That Kyril kid has a devil put aside for me, for me For me So you think you can stop me and spit in my eye So you think you can give the black cats bar to the swine? Oh, kyril, can't do this to me, kyril Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here Oo-oo Oh, yeah, oh, yeah Nothing really matters, anyone can see Nothing really matters Nothing really matters to me Any way the crisp packets blows 🎶

they kendo

i decided against trying to come up with a tofu joke - too tasteless

He’ll be like a katana hot tin roof

Hopefully none of our players come back ninja'd.

it make miso mad to think they're off to japan for pre-season

What a fuckin sapporo

Does Japanese coverage have samuraisers

Wagu on about? I’m surimi-ns well.

i like your sensei humour

I love this so matcha

I'll be honest, I've got.... .... Interest in it.

I know, it's not like you can just Nipon the Metro to watch the games.

Anyone heard from Strawb? 🤭

Perhaps NUFC should sign a few world class accountants. And I know exactly where they can start their search: right here on our very own Toontastic. Attention so-called accountants: Get in contact with the club. They need you. It's only logical that one of you has met (or possibly heard about) a top-quality accountant at some point.

You've got to see this place as more than the sumo its parts. If you're still bored, I can point you towards a rather touching month of May, Star Wars/Mother's day mashup I came across. It was Yoda speaking about how is mother was his hero. Or as he said it "Hero-she-ma"

Part of me is impressed with how that bloke has robbed a living for decades.

Glad I haven't been on here much the last couple of days. I think that period will be extended.

They do, good company and extremely sushiable I’m told.

Golf isn’t about being good. It’s about getting away from the wife and kids for five hours on a Saturday.

🙂

Clearly 🙂

udon know how much i'll miss them

Well I was there when we drew 4-4 with Troyes, so it's safe to say we've all seen some things.

the big top half of the table?

This really puts the fuckin tin hat on this season

Slot does have all the pundits cooing about him, but then so did Brendan Rodgers. Given they make c£800m in revenue, they've got tremendous spending power, enough to bin off a bad manager and his bad signings. You'd need a succession of poor appointments to really damage their standing. Same is true with Man Utd, the difference is, the Glazers (and hopefully INEOS) appear way less competent than FSG.

It'll be the Big "wherever we have to go down to, to where Man U/Chelsea finish"

This is the reason, just as much as European conference/Europa league (whatever it's going to be?) why I want to finish sixth as they can put one season down to a fluke, two seasons in a row where we're top six is going to give them something to chew on whenever they mention the big six, or they'll invent a big seven tag). *Or top eleven like they showed when Liverpool were eleventh).

Some CUNT on the Totally Football podcast was banging on about Palace having the best CB partnership outside of the Top 6. Aye mate, that's why they're 12th.

Yeah I’m alive mush. All very civilised, still a couple of long days drinking but nothing mental.

cunts have took my bomb away.