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“ Hi Kyril Yeah, it’s Amanda, look, you know it, I know it, this Beale character is not the man for you, is he? Why don’t you get rid of him this afternoon and we’ll help out with our extensive contacts to get you a replacement more suited to your status by, oooh, let’s say Monday morning? Deal? Ok , great ,see you in your new Keegan suite on Saturday”… Shouts through to Mehmet… ” Get John Carver on the line sweetie, once he’s done the lawn and front path, I’ve got some work for him!”

The Bilbao fan has responded…..I think another special fwendship is ruined …suicide watch will continue in chicken town

might be worth giving safc a call and suggesting they put a 1955 fa cup shirt on the bob stokoe statue. you never know, they might go for it.

Their owner has published an apology... in black and white:

I’ve got an early finish today, and I was very touched by our polydactyl friends efforts to make the away bar so welcoming for our lads. So, I’ve decided to convert the bathroom in to the Stadium of Shite, just for the weekend. I’ve painted it faded pink, shit all over the seat, and emptied the kitchen bin on the floor. Sent the kids to live with their Granny, put the dog in the pram and stocked up on pocket cheese. Mrs. F. hasn’t seen it yet, but if she’s got owt to say about it, I’ll have had 8 Ace by then so I’ll give her a slap and kidnap her ma. Bring it on marrows!

What’s a latch-key billionaire meant to do though? His mam won’t give him any more pocket money to flush down the bog, so he’s had no option but to take handouts from the murderous, camel-shagging paedophiles to desecrate the Holy of Holies with sex mag paraphernalia. And now they’ll have to shell out twice over, once more to change it back before tomorrow*, and then again to downgrade it back to its former state. * I’ll be very interested to know if they’ve actually done this @PaddockLad

This is the best fucking bit it’s not even something we asked for their ownership just went and did it. Rolling out the black and white carpet for the big lads. Their owners banning their tragic flag display, giving us that bar, and then decorating it for us complete with piss taking of their own club fucking tremendous. They’ve also apparently fucked up the ticketing and have printed “league one” instead of FA Cup on them so they’ll get fined as well . I hope we absolutely smack them 5-0 to put the nail in their entirely self made coffin.

Really, when you think about it, they've absolutely imploded and nobody has done a fucking thing at our end.

You're our bar now.

Fuck off man!! Can you imagine the litter that'd blow up !!!

Is it too late for them to agree with Michael Oliver being ref?

He was gonna brush his teeth but he said no fuck that

This is what he's having a good look at....

For anyone travelling down tomorrow, here's everything you's need to know in advance PS - I am yet to watch this video without ending up wheezing at the way the bloke says "horticultural oasis's"

It is aye- my lad is a Cocker so I’ve shaved his head and whacked a Union Jack tattoo on his napper. Looks mint.

He was getting bucked by lego head in that stripey house. We all know it!

I'm not so sure, KLD is a mag agent apparently (per an ITK on RTG)

It just keeps getting better

Aye. Good spot. I was taking the piss like, obviously. Erm, honest

Wanna buy some cheesey chips and blue pop Dave?

BILBAO BLACK CATS KLAXON!

What ya saying like?

David In A Six-Foot Hole, more like

“ Nen of ya Gordon Blue cooking for the Knight!, if ah fancy a change from good English kebabs, some Epic Poolay does me, like”

Recording of Hawking on Epstein Island has surfaced

Why do we need Wor Flags when they’ve decorated the fucking place for us?

TBF if I spent £600 on a ticket I’m going to want a helicopter to deliver me directly to the open bar.

Whatever attachments old Robobrain had, it’ll never beat Queen Lizzy’s great grandad’s specially made shagging chair.

Dreyfus is trying to say he knew nothing about it but it’s been planned for weeks https://x.com/SPEZIAL73/status/1743005639687729611?s=20

Even a stopped cock

I probably wouldn’t be bragging and sharing this one if I was a mackem

I’m not sure I even get his analogy. Fred and Rose West were pretty shit hot when it came to serial killing, definitely top tier, alongside Shipman. This analogy would put them in the Barry Davies category rather than Robbie Savage territory.

They also had the archetypal loud black captain who was always threatening to take their badges and guns for not playing by the book.

Bruno has been one of the most important signings since the takeover along with trippier and Botman and arguably our most important player because we don’t win games when he doesn’t start. He was a steal at £35m. £100m would give us the FFP headroom to do a Villa style rebuild after they sold Grealish but it would leave a huge hole to fill. You don’t tend to get players of Bruno’s quality for the price we paid for him. I hope he stays and they’re able to use crafty commercial deals to increase the transfer budget instead of selling our star player

Aye well, I had the car as a toy so lick me baaalls.

Our racist transfer policy doesn't look so silly now, eh?

Pilger came out of the late 60s student revolutionary scene and never left it (same as Corbyn) . Lately a ludicrously flawed and compromised fuckin idiot. His early campaigning work was often brilliant though…no one else was really bringing attention to what was going on in the likes of Cambodia or East Timor. Without the likes of Pilger western imperialism in Asia and the Pacific would have largely just gone ahead unchecked. He wasn’t the only one but he mostly worked for the Daily Mirror, the biggest selling tabloid on the planet at the time when everyone read newspapers. His audience was huge. Like Corbyn he was in thrall to all types of socialism/communism/marxism all his life. He never grew out of it and in the end it utterly blinded him to its affects and consequences. His journalistic methods and motivations were often questionable. It’s not news to me that he was a bit of cunt. His anti western obsession did however shine a light on some important issues.

"The Geordies of Sunderland" - fucking dirty sex mags taking our names, marra.

https://www.theguardian.com/football/2024/jan/04/premier-league-players-afcon-asian-cup Just having a look at this and its pretty good reading for us, a lot of the teams around us are losing really important players for a least a few matches.

So, before we’ve even turned up, we’ve taken their end. Good and proper. Thanks for reading my post.

It’s alright mate, I honestly couldn’t tell if you were taking the piss so I swerved responding

So far the list is pretty much obvious - Prince Andrew, Clinton and Trump who were already pretty much known about - I don't think I've seen any actors mentioned yet other than the typical accusations to Tom Hanks because of his reactions to the Gervais jokes. The strangest one is Steven Hawking apparently being accused of participating in an underage orgy - how the fuck would he have managed that, tie a strap on to his shins and have him drive backwards and forwards?

People not really laughing at a Ricky Gervais routine is hardly news, mind