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Ultimately I was pleased with the very late, deeply controversial goal as I think we would be better off out of the world’s premier club competition.

It is what it is, and we would have had to go out to try to beat Milan in the final game either way tbh. It's not like we could have gambled on PSG getting a draw in Dortmund. I'm still just really proud of the team as my main emotion following that. If we end up in the Europa League, fine. If we qualify despite this, great. In the end I still never thought I'd see days like this return, and as unfair as that penalty was, at least we're here in the first place. Getting screwed by VAR at the highest level of the game

You say that but at the Cardiff semi final in 2005 one of our party had his daughter with him. A very well known premier league referee gained carnal knowledge of this young lady on the Saturday night before the game. I couldn’t possibly name this ref but his initials are Mark Clattenburg

"André Onana is starting to find his feet at Manchester United" Should have found his fucking hands first

That cunt? Fucking jammy bastard's never aged a day since 1982, he's like a real life Peter Pan, I don't know how he does it?

A bloke at the bar said similar. Unbelievable in my eyes tbh, him, miggy and Bruno in the first half were different class. The eight minutes added for European standards were a joke , the pen was different levels joke. Absolute fucking disgrace. The game's not a level playing field but we all knew that.

Changing the sub title

Didnt know wykiki was a ref

The big problem with VAR and refereeing is that all referees are nerdly little spenks who got bullied at school. Every single one of them watch their lass get fucked by another bloke.

I hear Simon Weston wants her pissflaps for ears

I commited a job interview faux-pas a good few years ago that still keeps me awake at night now and again. Asked about my "proudest achievements" I replied words to the effect of "I've always felt pride is an incredibly selfish emotion and don't like to focus on past achievements" before looking up and realising the entire office was draped in rainbow flags and thinking "ah shit, that screamed homophobe/religious bigot". Dunno where those words came from. Maybe I'd watched Se7en the night before.

Given their lifelong, not just since Oct 2021, status as defenders of humanitarian causes, I’m surprised either of these two touchers could bring themselves to watch a game between two murderous reygiymes. I’m sure they’ll both console each other at the weekly Amnesty meeting tonight.

It's an utter killer mate. Both rhyming and alliterate. I dunno, I'm on the verge of defecting to become a fan of massive lads as a result.

The cutting ‘mags are mugs’ bit at the end got me

Amazingly, translating his name from Polish you get Trelford Mills!

And...

Infested with Tyneside evil

Given how bad his shooting was last night I doubt he could hit Livramento's arm from three yards.

🙂

Our thread was parsnipped after a thousand posts or so. They are getting more and more insane. Apparently M'Bappe is just a better version of David Bellion. But this has to be peak wibble, surely?

The tonal shift between those two jokes is impressive

I think it makes it worse than I’m only 33 and that was my first thought for a joke

Keeping it topical to make sure this place is still down with the kids I see

Could this be the week we finally get the hang of this football lark?

Glad that's all sorted then. Are they FEDEX-ing the other 2pts, or will they be hand delivered?

It's still the ref who didn't have the balls to disagree with VAR though.

Right, anyone going to the Milan match: don't forget to boo the CL anthem and hold up your pink cards. This is all of vital importance.

here i was thinking a few middle aged gobshites on a newcastle forum knew more than dan ashworth

I guess we’re beginning to see why he was signed ahead of other perceived priorities. I don’t mean that as a dig at anyone questioning why we went for him when some areas needed strengthening more. I just think Ashworth / Howe / whoever has the final say saw his potential and what he can already offer. Plus as fans we understandably focus on the here and now. Whereas Ashworth will be coming at it from a medium to long term perspective too. And we’re still very much on the early stages of building a squad able to genuinely compete for honours / on multiple fronts. Especially after the lack of investment and attention to detail of the previous 14 years or so.

also. We beat PSG 5-2 on aggregate. I don’t think anyone would have called that when the group of death was drawn

So, if we pretend it’s true for a moment, it’s supposed to be a bad thing that a player that previously dived all the time and (as is inferred) bottled out of tackles, is now a player who physically imposes himself in games? They’re not just inventing stuff, they’re inventing stuff that’s actually a positive thing for NUFC and suggesting it’s ‘evil’? Rather than being played in positions that suit him better under a far superior coaching system.

Of course they did batter us for almost the entire second half snd on another day they would probably have converted some of their chances to win the game easily. But this doesn’t make our effort less admirable. We got there with having almost an entire team out injured. Playing Miley in this kind of game without having real options on the bench shows the lack of depth of our squad. On another day we might even have nicked it on a counter with fresher legs. In the end they are only still in the competition because of a dodgy penalty decision absolutely no fair neutral does understand or accept,

It does concern me a little that he's come back from an injury and played 81' against Chelsea and 90' a few days later against PSG. To the latter end of the first half he was hardly making any runs. He was glued to the centre of the pitch and not really contributing. It made me wonder if he was injured. Second half apart from one run he might as well not been on the pitch. IMO Eddie should have taken him off for Hall. But great to see Isak back. I just hope we aren't fucking him up with two long stints after a lay off.

Idiots

Also, OF COURSE a team has been robbed when an incorrect penalty decision has been given in the last minute. Especially when the attacking team had proven themselves completely incapable of converting all that xG into actual fucking G for the preceding 96 minutes. They blew most of their chances wide or over the bar, and Nick Pope kept out the rest. And then we were robbed by the ref gifting them the only thing that was going to borderline guarantee them a goal. The truth is Liew hates Newcastle and gets a kick out of winding up our fans. Proper journalists don't stoop to either the bias or being a cheap WUM.

If it’s a draw in Dortmund and we beat Milan we’re through on the old heed to heed

As much as it’s fucking bullshit regarding the “Pelanty”, have to say those 11 lads out there tonight have done themselves proud, especially the nippers.

Fair play, that's a good line.

What’s the best thing about a prostitute dying on you? The second hour is completely free.

Imagine actually typing the words "my mother Sticky Vicky passed away today"

I love Burn and you could see why he was played ahead of Targett in what was almost a back 3. But you can already see how much more Tino offers at LB

Nope, @Gemmillis the only scandalous poster around lately, but yet the supposed best around. You sir, @PaddockLadwe appreciate your input! Get that lad an adult pamper and a wet wipe. Like a full cat litter box while trying to explain it is not his fault. Scratch, scratch. Oh, but look at my predictions. We have! Fuck off.

hope you had a hassle free night over there mate, gutted for all who made the trip that they didn't get to see the result an outstanding, backs to the wall second half perfomance that would've ended in a much deserved win. fuckimg shambolic penalty decision. hope you kept that day off work for the milan game, about time we had another pint.

8mins of injury time btw? We didn't make a fucking substitution!