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swiftly following on from ant&dec's piss taking of the mackem's shithole town news spreads all over australia and jason donovan lets slip what he thinks of the place too. always been a big fan of the former neighbours star and silky voiced crooner me.....

Oof. Over on Weirdside....

I have bought a DUSTBUSTER as a TREAT to myself

They’re angry at things we’ve not even done. None of this stuff bothered them until our takeover, in fact all of their clubs took advantage of a lot of the loopholes they’re now all adamant need to be closed. I had an argument with a Liverpool fan recently about the related party advertising, of course his stance was they do no wrong and the links between New Balance & Warrior (two brands that previously had zero involvement in the sport) didn’t exist aye huge coincidence they both originate from Boston just like the Liverpool owners hub. We’ve seen these things for fucking donkeys years, King power stadium, all the Ashley crap, etc but none of them give a single fuck until our takeover.

True, but howay, you don't say it. Reminds me once I was giving a talk about some research I had done based in Stoke on Trent. We were quite an informal bunch and I described the place as "the arse end of the Universe", which was fine, considering the context of the study. In the any questions bit my line manager raised his hand. "Do you know where I'm from Renton?" "Erm, no now you come to mention it Paul" "I'm from Stoke, Renton". Oh how we laughed.

Hard to say, nobody has ever witnessed that.

I also like the way there’s loads of people arguing that NOT voting to change the rules is corruption, cheating etc. How the fuck does that work exactly? Whereas a temporary rule change cooked up by the likes of Liverpool and Arsenal, specifically targeting one club / a direct rival is all perfectly above board?

I went to Waterstones the other day for a book on turtles… The assistant said “Hardback?”. I said, “Aye, with little heads”

I hope at some point the club compiles a dossier of the anti competition moves made by the likes of Arsenal and Liverpool during and after the takeover to take some sort of legal action. Even if its just to underline to everyone that the sad, cowardly, priveleged c**nts are trying to run a closed shop.

As pointed out in a couple of replies, it was under Rafa that the Man Utd rumours happened. Pointless lying sack of lard.

These points are exactly why I completely disagree with any point fans are making for why those against the rule are corrupt. It’s a temporary ban, so rushed through to block just this upcoming window - even if they really do want this why can’t it wait to be properly laid out? How many rules are temporarily brought in mid season? Additionally the block on only incoming transfers - why? Surely if you’re actually opposing the multi club model you’d want both banned. It’s absolutely an attack on one club - Ashworth brought it up to draw them out imo, it’s unlikely we even planned on doing it but it’s further exposing their antics.

Classic open tin of paint on the top shelf getting knocked off and covering him like an extreme plasterer's radio gets my vote.

The coastguard are reporting that a ship carrying red paint has been involved in a collision with another ship containing blue paint. Both sets of crew are said to be marooned.

Wyki sitting at home, hate scrolling:

I've just got a gig as the triangle player in a Reggae band. Piece of piss tbh , I just stand at the back and ting.

“We had him almost five years ago, he was a lot younger then.”

My lass just keeps buying mugs. She has a particular liking for Emma Bridgwater ones. When they’re all washed there’s not enough room in the fucking cupboard for them all. Oh, and my Father’s Day present (allegedly off the kids) :

How’s the slum landlord business, did you say?

Absolutely outrageous this. Minding my own business and come in here to find this. We need a grievances procedure.

I have inherited many traits from the Swedish side of my family - binge drinking, stoicism in the face of adversity, an inexplicable love of salt liquorice - but my firm belief in döstädning is perhaps foremost among them. No Marie Kondo shit, just keeping on top of things so that your relatives don't have to deal with it all at some point. Not that I know who'll be dealing with it in my case, in the absence of any descendants, but still.

just off the top of me head and without any inclination to look up the correct timeline, lfc ... demanded bigger share of tv money, demanded more than 1 vote in polls, creation of the e.s.l. demanded automatic qualification to european competition based on coefficients rather than league placings. demanded the right to vote against relegation should one of the 6 finish in the bottom 3 obviously none of this is remotely to do with greed, anti-competitive or self-entitlement. it's just down to them being the guardians of sporting morality.

This is now the "If you heard a shit joke today, post it", or at least that's what the last few pages have tortoise.

Random thought for the day. Why is it that some songs I have loved for years or decades, play on an almost daily basis, and still don't know the words off by heart? But when a reference is made to Anthony Gordon, all of a sudden "Gordon is a moron" by Jilted John gets in my head and despite never listening to this for 30 years I know every lyric of the entire song (verse and chorus) off by heart? I've been going out with a girl Her name is ju u u lie But last night she saifd to me While we were watching telly......... ............ Oh she's a slag and he's a creep She's a tart, he's very cheap She is a slut, he thinks he's tough She is a bitch, he is a puff Yeah yeah, it's not fair Yeah yeah, it's not fair

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeembaarassing,

I don't know what is more hilarious; - The fact that they don't understand that they need the premier league much more than the premier league needs them - The fact that they think it's a good idea in any capacity - That they think other 'big' clubs would join them on such a foolish endeavour - Them believing that the EFL would welcome them with open arms, despite them spending ridiculously more than any other club at that level - That they believe their players would have no issue with droppping down several leagues and missing out on European football/the potential for it just to try to make a petulant point - That they have observed what we have done and still consider us to be rogue spenders I'll have to settle on their general level of delusion. 1. Manchester United – £200,996,000 2. Manchester City – £192,712,000 3. Arsenal – £155,896,000 4. Liverpool – £134,940,000 5. Chelsea – £128,804,000 6. Aston Villa – £99,840,000 7. Tottenham – £91,000,000 8. West Ham United – £90,480,000 9. Newcastle United – £85,800,000 10. Everton – £74,662,000 11. Nottingham Forest – £59,050,000 12. Crystal Palace – £52,150,000 13. Bournemouth – £48,594,000 14. Fulham – £47,580,000 15. Brighton – £47,268,000 16. Wolves – £41,600,000 17. Brentford – £34,398,000 18. Burnley – £20,978,000 19. Sheffield United – £13,302,800 20. Luton Town – £3,662,000 "rouge spenders" "fair competition"

I'm going to ask the bairns to get me CT's wedding pic on a mug. (Might order it direct from his SIDE HUSTLE actually?)

In that case:

Can't not mention this one....

Jewels remain still cleaming

Not to defend a Tory or owt, but he was talking about Stockton, which is a bit of a shithole tbf.

Identify with the lyrics?

Just kidding, shes STUNNING and so so funny, didnt you know you held my sense of humour in such high esteem @strawb I've always pictured @Ayatollah Hermione like this; @Ayatollah Hermione Have a go at @Polarboy

We’re allowed four international loans so we could get Neves Mahrez Benzama Then I’d be tempted by that Viega kid who we were linked with previously, as he sounds like the real deal. But Henderson, just for the Mackem meltdown, would be first class shithousing

In the last 48 hours I've just bought a new garden shed and an Edgar Allan Poe book. I've really fucking missed having a shed and looking forward to freezing my knackers off and getting to read in peace under the guise of working. I've also bought a pry-bar, which was useful for lifting and levelling the paving slabs that the shed will sit on but will be even more handy if I get caught reading my Poe book in my new shed. I can use it to discretely break into someone else's shed and sit and read there instead.

or give the corrupt six more votes than the rest which is what the cunts were demanding not so long? or do what the self entitled cry babies on rawk are currently suggesting..... don't give newly promoted clubs a vote, they don't deserve one as they're not 'big' enough. absolutely loving this meltdown from the red tops me, particularly the dippers. glorious.

He's practically spitting that out...he has history.

The Premier League hasn’t had a true arbiter of rightness since the world’s most inherently moral and classy club dropped out of it 7 seasons ago.