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I was going to post about this last night but honestly, I just couldn’t think of words to do the night justice. Keegan was his usual star studded majestic self. We were still queuing outside nearly an hour after we were meant to be in. Pete Graves came outside and explained “you know what he’s like, can’t just have his photo taken, he has to chat and joke on with everyone he meets” Sure enough when we got to meet him he was there treating everyone like a long lost relative. The bloke is King Kev for good reason. First hour was just Kev and Pete graves. This is where it’s hard to do him justice. If you’ve ever spent time in his company or at one of these events you will know what I mean, if not, put it on your bucket list now. He’s just a wonderful human wrapped up in genuine love for Newcastle the club and the fans (“We are his statue”) and so so funny. You feel a bit like a small child meeting Santa. Eddie then joined KK for the second hour and it was just everything you could imagine it would be. Eddie was the most relaxed I’ve ever seen him and when not laughing with the rest of us at KK’s input, was a great listen in his own right. We even got Terry Mac on stage for a rendition of the Blaydon Races! Definitely one of the best nights of my life.

Nah, this is how it went down.

He looks like he enjoyed himself- nice frock but the wig is dodgy.

We need this photo with a hat with corks on it

New Mackem conspiracy: Beheaddie is only trying to win the Champions Leayague so that he can bring Toenail out of the crowd at the end of the final in full kit to hoy the trophy up instead of Trippier to piss Amnesty International off

I believe Keegan.

One of the shite things about growing older online is that bad things start happening more often to people you know (whether virtually or irl), though that's also a measure of how strong these communities can end up being. This weekend in Hamburg we've been raising a glass to a couple of people from our Eurovision forum we lost this year. I didn't get on with one of them especially well, but he was as much a part of the furniture as anyone else. Similarly, I'm sure Stevie wouldn't mind me saying we aren't exactly on the same page when it comes to many things in life but I'm really glad he's doing well and hope he continues to beat the odds. He may not have been around here for a while but this place would have been a lot less colourful without him.

no he said “oh Kelso yeah me and Terry went to the races there when we played at Newcastle “ ”Yeah we used to see you there, my mate Bruce’s dad was the starter” “wait a minute you sound Scottish, Kelso’s in England isn’t it?” “no the border is about 2 miles downstream at Carham, Kelso is just in Scotland “ “no it’s not!”

I met Keegan at a book signing in Southampton. My now wife had to step in and stage an intervention before we had a full blown row as to whether Kelso was in Scotland or England

What does Sunderland and Las Vegas have in common? You can pay for sex with chips!

There was another yes/no exchange and my missus could see the way this was going so she came across, took the book he’d just signed from me and said “right let’s get a picture!” and proceeded to get us lined up for the shot and the mood dissipated back into joviality again I got the impression the problem was/is even for KK’s legendary common touch with ordinary punters he’s not used to being contradicted by us plebs, he wasn’t taking it, and because I knew I was on easily provable firm ground I wasn’t going to back down either… fair to say we’re both cunts in a way; the difference is he’s won the ballon d’or twice and I drive a white van with some light bulbs in the back of it 🤪

Remove some ribs I should.

No.

Different ex-Liverpool player but why am I getting a sense the conversation was a bit like this?

Mind, I'm disappointed he hasn't somehow conspired to give his kids the initials SMB.

He'll be fucking RAGING about that.

There's a handy flow chart for determining this. Is it the mags? ............|............ ............|............ ............|...Yes... ............|............ ...........\/........... Saudi corruption

“Not at all wide of the mark “

if keegan told me cheltenham was in australia i'd start wearing a hat with corks on it.

Nee way am I going there after Wilson has been there. 'I said all I want is a little pussy, a little pussy' 'Why did you say that twice?' 'I didn't'

Fagioli is a dirty snitch mind. You don't chuck your mates under the bus to save yourself

Fucking ridiculous. Is he still allowed to shag his bird?

Pleased to say Brock is doing well and has a beard the size of a small country.

Great stuff CT. We need to see a pic of you and King Kev. Mainly so we can photoshop it in the future.

King Kev getting in early with the poppy mind. His reputation can't afford another hit after he said he doesn't want splitbots commentating on the football.

This is how I picture Fish. Just more bald.

Part of the sentencing is that Wilson has to do that just to give wykikis lass a rest for a few months

Given his name, that would be almost instant. ( reported myself… fuck off).

Hope was wanking like mad posting that the negative little creep

Did KK just keep screaming "YOU'RE NOT EVEN FUCKING SCOTTISH" in your face?

Still rocking his selfie smile/head tilt to camera, I see.

Any takers?

No friction when you're wetter than a blind lesbian in a fish market

Just been in the local and George Riley was in there. Would love to know what happened to the investigation into him. Another BBC cover up no doubt. Also told Wor Lass I am out on Mad Friday lunch as a mate is over from the US. She asked 'Is that on the Saturday' My reply of 'The clue is in the name dick head' wasn't the correct one apparently.

I arrived in Ayia Napa today and I'm staying at the other end of town from where I usually do and I've just sat down in the bar I was in in 2017 when we played the scouse cunts and Joselu scored and Amanda was in the box They're advertising the Dortmund match and also apparently the mackems are getting hopefully bummed by Leicester later tonight.

Somewhat intrigued to find out his views on wokery though

I do think it’s bad they’re not allowed to even train during the ban. I also think that while it’s correct the ban should apply across Europe, Uefa as the central body should impose the bans for consistency.

I message him all the time. We catch for a few pints, usually around Monkseaton/Whitley/Tynemouth every two or three months. Him and his lass were bang into camping but he’s onto his second caravan now so that takes up most of his weekends, usually in the Lakes, Yorkshire or Northumberland. He still loves his cricket but, even though he’s happy about Newcastle, the fans and boost for the area etc. he’s lost his passion for top flight football. Him and Catmag go and watch the cricket together a bit too. Durham plus the odd England test / T20 / ODI.

Will he still get a CL winners medal seeing as he played in the first two matches?

Julian Brandt: "We can expect a very good atmosphere there. It's different from City or Chelsea."

Girls on film on a loop.

aye! I remember it was probably the only place in town that would serve you a green monster.... a snakebite with a shot of blue bols. classy drink for the discerning quaffer. also, they had a shil load of teles everywhere at the advent of video jukeboxes, no bad thing when zz top's legs came on.

I think he may have been joking.