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I was talking to my Dad last night. I knew he knew the fella who did the NUFC blog as he’d mentioned it ages ago. My dad would read the blog from time to time and had seen the recent post announcing it was closing down. Anyway, it turns out they lived close to each other in Walker and were in the same class at high school (Heaton Tech as was). They both played for Newcastle Boys for several seasons. My dad was a centre half and said that Ed Harrison was an excellent ‘fearless’ goalkeeper. Ed played in a trial match for England schoolboys so he must’ve been pretty decent. My dad said Ed did a degree at King’s College London, before doing a masters up here. And he must’ve subsequently got a doctorate. That would’ve been highly unusual for a working class lad from Walker back then when hardly anyone would’ve stayed on beyond 16, let alone go to uni. Their paths crossed a bit through the years as my dad had various jobs in IT and Ed ended up working for IBM, which saw him move to North Carolina, where he is now. My dad reckons Ed is a lovely fella. Anyway, sorry for the boring, humourless story with no swearing

Mrs Sponge has just come in with a very disapproving look having counted 10 empty cans in the kitchen Good job she can't see the 4 down the side of the chair

Can either you or OTF tell us the score so we can get a bet on? As it’s an evening kickoff here

Oops

GROUP OF DEATH THEY SAID

I read this with increasing consternation that I hadn’t seen “sorry” anywhere, but BOOM… there it is, right at the end. Fucking Legend

This is unfortunate and inevitable. And funny tbf. The thing with TT is, we don't care if anyone else shows up really, we're not looking to grow the userbase as such (if people join and get the place, great, if not, we're fine), we're just here to talk with a bunch of people most of us have known for over a decade. Over the course of the years that TT has been running it's developed a particular culture. You can't just drop 10 or so people into that culture out of nowhere and in total ignorance of said culture, and then take offence at it. No one was being harsh or mean to you, you just don't get how this place works. Keep reading the forum outside of this thread, see if you can insert yourself into a conversation or thread somewhere, and you'll find you get on pretty well IMO. None of us are bad people, none of us are children, we're all grown adults with jobs and families and whatever. We all care about each other. In earnest though even if we'd given you the perfect welcome with bells on, taking a community group that seems to be well connected to each other such as your own and merging it into another community with similar bonds and ties with no planning, conversation or attempt to understand each other was always going to fail. Sorry to hear about the blog and its owner btw. Good luck in whatever you do from here.

Schar shag our lass, but I have to watch. Edward Howe. Motm

Most goals PSG have conceded in a group stage game since 2001 That'll do

Called us a super power, and that Liverpool couldn't compete with us or City, but then proceeded to outspend us in the transfer window just gone despite missing out on top 4. The bloke is one fender bender on Bensham Bank away from launching his final solution.

I'm sure Klopp was one of the CUNTS moaning about the length of the VAR process. This is what happens when you rush it. SIT IN YOUR OWN SHIT HORSE HEED

I have commissioned a toontastic Word Cloud of my own as it happens, here it is: CUNTSBest PM of my lifetime

Was this copied and pasted from Suella Braverman's speech yesterday?

The Simpsons even managed to predict CT furiously hitting the refresh button for PSG at home.

There's always gonna be people biased towards their own club on their own forum. I've definitely seen an upturn in plastics on our forum the last few years. Plus rags and dippers masquerading as blues to cause mischief. New people with now now now views shouting over the top of the older generation. I don't know. Some of the above is right. There was definitely a mix of "we want to win it all" and "its only the league cup" before the game that obviously swung towards the latter after. I did think the sky line about famous victory was a bit much, after all we were knocked out by another champions league club. I'm not sure i sense much hatred for newcastle amongst city fans in the flesh. The people i know recognize you've had some rough years much like we had. That said, keyboard warriors are a different breed though. We did put out a decent side, that played ok in the first half, but carried no real threat. I think you realised that and went for it with some gusto after the break. It's true I certainly would have fancied our chances more against you if most of Ederson, Walker, Dias, Stones, Rodri, Bernado, De Bruyne, Haaland had been on the pitch. But they weren't so. In my defense, i came on here before the game and pretty much predicted what happened. I didn't come on afterwards as i was gutted,

Just got on metro. Quite simply the best game and best atmosphere I’ve ever attended. Simply stunning stuff from players and fans. Fucked.

Another lol at us, of all people, being Luis Enrique’s bogey team. We’ve waited 23 years to dick him over again

If you told Burn and Longstaff 18 months ago they scored goals in a home win, in the CL v PSG. They must think they’re dreaming.

Charles de Gaulle, Asterix, Serge Gainsbourg, Napoleon, Charlemagne, Charles Eiffel, Louis Pasteur, Napoleon (again).… your boys took one hell of a beating!

Imagine being a perennial fixture of the champions league only to get made a fucking mug of by a legendary beanpole from Blyth. Fucking love BDB me.

Gloom's wedding night self-talk.

"It's the crunch match between Andorra and Kazakhstan at the Darlington Arena... and it's live!"

What they need is someone with vast PL experience, who knows their club inside out, affable and well respected, and who can roll their sleeves up, dust themselves down, and eat bacon until their fucking liver bursts.

Is Leazes’ old forum still going? That only had about 4 regular posters and two of those were him using different accounts.

It’s business as usual for a bartender, and one day as he is cleaning his bar when an unusual customer walks in. The man is dressed in an expensive suit, has a beautiful supermodel hanging off each arm, and has a limo parked outside. Furthermore, the man has an orange for a head. The customer sits down at the bar and orders everyone a drink. He pays for it from a roll of hundreds and manages to get the attention of every woman in the joint, despite having an orange for a head. The bartender is not a man to pry, but he feels compelled to ask about this man’s life. “Excuse me,” says the bartender, “I can’t help but notice that you’re obviously fabulously wealthy and irresistable to women, but you have an orange for a head. How did that happen?” So the man told his story. "A while back, when I was penniless, I was walking along the beach and saw an old lamp, half buried in the sand. I picked it up and gave it a clean, and POOF! out popped a genie. The genie explained that he had been trapped in that lamp for two hundred years, and that he was so grateful to me for freeing him that he would give me three wishes. "For my first wish I asked for an unlimited fortune. The genie said ‘It is done!’ and from then on, whenever I needed money, it was there. "For my second wish I asked for the attention of all the most beautiful women in the world. The genie said it was done, and since then I have been able to get any woman I wanted. “For my third wish – and, this is the bit where I kinda fucked up – I asked for an orange for a head.”

Mind, we’ve arrived now. I thought we may grow into the CL after a teething period but nah, straight in, balls deep in the second game, fuck the lot of them. Eddie Howe, you son of a bitch

There’s nothing like good quality rum. And that’s nothing like good quality rum.

Priveldged to have seen that. They looked good in keeping possession, but gave Pope almost no bother. We struggled with possession, but punished them when we had it. Fair play to the PSG fans, they were incredible until our 4th. Alright, they had a drum but a couple of thousand constantly kept to the script, singing and dancing in unison. Went home with a few spare flares. I was convinced it would be like the Barca match all those years ago, hanging onto 3-2. But no, Schar scored a screamer and in the end it was a piss take. M'Bappe who?

@essembeeofsunderland, if you agree knock twice on the table.

If that's what we could've had with Mbappe if not for FFP, then thank fuck for FFP.

SHOVE YOUR HAUTE CUISINE UP YOUR FUCKIN ARSEHOLES YA FUCKIN CHEESE EATING COLLABORATING SURRENDER MONKEYS

I think we should all take a moment to show our gratitude to our ace thread starter. Fantastic result HTL

They might call that a swing in Minnesota, BONNY LAD!

Bruno best player on the pitch despite his kids

Fucking Schar has to, HAS TO, take a shot to the head/face every game. Someone needs to get him a Petr Cech helmet as soon as possible .

Is that the smell of burning M&S pizza or the stench of self inflicted friction burns from your penis?

Supplied by Trippier.

Things shaping up nicely in my living room too. I'm 5 minutes away from putting the oven on for an M&S pizza.

"Lads I'm trying to think of a banner for the game. Anybody got any ide-" "Dead Mussolini" "What's that?" "Dead Mussolini. Get it printed." "..."

I'm a white, man city supporting stockport lad living in london, the wifes a brown, man united supporting yorkshire lass. we get some stick from the southern folk. (had to add a comma between brown and man as it looked really weird) (i use the words lad and lass very loosely as i'm nearly 60)

Or nobody wants to claim you

Nice to see this thread kicking on, shame about some of the trolls though. Special shout out to Uncle @sammynb and everyone else that wants to talk to football. Just going to add some stats and a bigger update for this post to get us all up to date, followed by smaller updates throughout the season. Harrison Ashby: After starting the first seven games of the season, our fella has found himself dropped, not making any appearances in the last 3 game. Personally seems a bit harsh when you look at his ratings (I dont have time to watch every game of football, get of ma back). Yes he had a rocky start to the season but seems to have picked it up and kept it steady, his replacement for those last 3 games by the way hasn't exactly done anything to continue be getting picked over him (Based on swansea forums). So hopefully this is just a blip and hopefully, as the season progresses, he'll have the opportunity to regain his place in the starting lineup and continue to contribute Garang Kuol: Garang Kuol has been a consistent presence in the lineup, featuring in all five games since joining Volendam, with four of those appearances as a starter on the left wing. In all honesty, his time at Volendam hasn't been marked by success so far. However, important to note, the team narrowly escaped relegation last season and is currently positioned at the bottom of the league table, indicating broader challenges within the team. It raises questions about whether this was the ideal move for him. However, on a more optimistic note, Kuol is gaining valuable playing time, which can serve as a valuable learning experience for future challenges he may face. Yankuba Minteh: This fella was BORN to dribble After picking up this wonderkid who dominated the Danish league we send him quick smart on loan to Feyenoord and its looking really really promising for him so far. Consistently getting game time and GOALS. His passing game has been decent, defensively getting stuck in and consistently getting past his man with some slick dribbling. To top it off, he also made his international debut this season and went ahead and decided to get himself a goal while he was the there. At this rate, he shouldn't have any visa issues come next season and I cant wait to see what Eddie does with him. RW and left footed, Murphy and Miggy are in trouble next season. All stats obtained from sofascore.com

Seriously what is there to argue about here it’s a fucking shocking tackle. I also don’t really understand their “the ball moved his foot into the player” he barely made contact with the ball, he went straight over the top of it. For me it’s one of the more straight forward red cards you’ll ever see.

Just think of the amount of Patreon members we could have had if @Dr Gloom hadn't scared them away with his profanity.