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My wife’s just got back from Swanage In Dorset? Yes she’d thoroughly recommend it

Back from Greece now and not quite fully depressed yet. We were smack dab in the middle of two towns, Kallithea and Afitos. The former was supposed to be very lively but COVID/inflation has obviously kicked the arse out of it. Lots of empty store fronts and the bars were pretty much dead outside of the beach bars full of knackers. Afitos, though, was absolutely stunning. A completely picturesque, old Greek town with outstanding food (had a mind-blowing seafood platter overlooking the coastline at the peak of the village), cool as fuck, laid back bars in the square and the kind of blart that you just don’t get here. I’d well recommend a week in the place if you’re looking at Greece. Will take you an hour from Thessaloniki airport but it’s absolutely lush. Also had the strongest Old Fashioned I’ve ever had in my life in one of the cocktail bars. I don’t know how I didn’t go blind. 5 star location

There was our entire 4k and about 1k Rossinieri trying to get on to the metro, chaos, no barriers for queuing or anyone taking charge, only fully kitted up Carabinieri looking for a ruck. Of course, some smart cunt chucked a bottle at one of them instead of battering fuck out of us they shut the station and told us all to fuck off , of which 99% did. We hung around and they re opened it about 20 mins later

Unlucky @Diego21

Wykiki being the voice of reason and now CT using metaphors to accurately describe the current tactical issues…. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON ?!?

Appropriate for Gandaft, I suppose.

every owner of a football club in europe would love the money playing in the champions league generates. every owner of a football club in europe would welcome the prestige playing in the champions league brings. every footballer probably in the world would love the opportunity to play football in the champions league. every football supporter in europe would love to see their club playing in the champions league. every football supporter in europe would love the opportunity to visit some of the continents stunning, vibrant cities. except the mackems.

You never get "Newcastle's a shithole" patter for a fucking reason. People for Newcastle wouldn't go to Sunderland for a fucking reason. What could you get in Sunderland that you couldn't get in Newcastle? Besides the plague?

How do I get coffee out the gaps in my laptop key board ffs.

Stigmata would explain the bandages, I suppose.

What a run from the keeper. I can see how none of the Atletico defenders picked him up though, with the subdued outfit he was wearing.

I think Gemmill’s point re progression not being linear is correct. It would be true anyway but it’s doubly so given the trajectory of the last 18 months. This is further exacerbated by (for whatever reasons) not being able to strengthen in a couple of key areas (LB / CM). On top of that there are injuries to key performers from last season, the two Joes. This has disrupted things, cut down the options the manager has and has probably meant integrating Tonali more quickly than he’d have liked. As an aside ASM went because Howe doesn’t rate him and didn’t trust him. The notion that he’d have gotten a 30 minute cameo in that situation last night is fanciful.

Seeing a lot of criticism of Gordon, or Isak, and Burn, but the issues are 100% the central midfield. Sort that out and everything else will fit into place nicely. Bruno's form is improving and yesterday he was closer to what we expect from him, calm under pressure, linking up with Longstaff, breaking their press with a pass or a move. Much better. However, him, Tonali and Longstaff just don't have the familiarity to play the way we di last season with Joe/Joe, Burno and Longstaff. Tonali is a different kind of player and that's taking a while to dovetail with the other profiles. I'm sure had Longstaff not been injured Tonali would have been eased into the side as is Howe's usual approach. The other issue is that teams are avoiding our high press by clipping the ball over it to the flanks. This is where we need a more front foot left back and a more cohesive central midfield. Last season, so many of our goals came from our wide men or striker putting pressure on their fullbacks and centre backs and forcing errors high up the field. So our creative play was beginning 25-30yds from their goal. We need a way to either lure them into playing to their fullbacks, or develop a creative pathway from deeper. Without a true blue number 6 I think we have to play Longstaff as his endeavour and understanding with Bruno makes Bruno + A.N. Other much much better. Our defence was solid last night, but our midfield and attack were misfiring. This is partly due to confidence, partly familiarity and partly due to injury disruptions. We'll be fine. Anyone even suggesting that we should be considering peddling Howe is a fickle prick. We've pasted Villa, competed with Man City, were unlucky against Liverpool, got pasted by Brighton, put in a professional performance against Brentford and, most importantly, gone drew with Milan. In the club's first CL game in 20yrs. 5 players making their CL debut. Several players making their European debut. Without some key players available. Away from home. At a famous old club. To last season's semi finalists. Yes they had 25 Shots but, of those, only 8 were on target, with an xG of 2.2 and a Post Shot xG of 1.2. In other words, they took a load of hit and hope shots, from not particularly optimal positions, and Pope didn't have to make any world class saves to keep us in it. Our best player was Trippier or Longstaff, their best player was Timori. By a mile. Leao was very ASM-like. Calabria didn't know what to do with Gordon and was hooked at half time because he 100% would have got another yellow if he wasn't. Once we get the midfield more confident, assured, and when we get players back from injury or out of poor form, we'll be a much better prospect. We'll do 'em in the return leg.

Just by way of context... 17 April, 2022, we beat Leicester 2-1 at SJP which took us to 37 points, which would turn out to be enough to avoid relegation that season. 19 September, 2023, we leave the San Siro with a point in our first Champions League match for 20+ years. Less than 18 months. That is fucking ludicrous. It's a Ted Lasso plotline. Aye, our press doesn't seem anywhere near as intense as it did last season, and we seem to have lost something going forward, but that's maybe 100 steps forward, 7 steps back in terms of our progress. It's not gonna be linear, we were that good last season, so we should be this good this season. We need to chill out and actually enjoy what's going on a bit. It's absolute madness where we've got to so quickly.

There is a certain beauty about, none other than Wykiki telling the forum to chill.

Me and the wife took a trip on the Orient Express. A porter came up to me on the platform and said “ Shall I carry your bag sir?” I said “ Nah, she can walk”

Last time I tried that I sprained my neck.

Great / really puerile minds

I walked from the centre of Milan to the San Siro is 36 degree heat, whilst stopping to take photos of architecture etc and it took me 1h 15. Slow cunts.

LTA has joined the conversation

Wifey walks in the hairdressers in Ashington. “ What style do want pet?” ” Can I have it curled please?” ” Aye, I just gan erpen the winderr “

We fucking lost against Man City, Liverpool and überconfident Brighton away. We drew against AC Mackemsneverbeenseen. We also spanked Aston Villa. Those are not games and performances that should alter the perspective tbh

@Gemmill hiya Gemma special gift for you from Milan 😘

Is Mike Williamson the new Pep

Met Ryder once and he was collecting Belgian beers some journalist had left with my staff for him. Eyes looked glazed at the time and I sensed the presence of a tragedy. Seen Edwards in Inflataspace yelling at those 'Tipping Point' machines with the coppers in. And I sensed the presence of a tragedy.

Same way you get your white wee wee out. Lick it.

White wee wee

White wee wee

Sunderland wouldn't have beaten their U21s, man. God, the more I see their delusion, the more I want to face them in a cup and fucking humiliate them. Jacob Murphy memeing them from the first minute to the last.

i think the final 20-30 mins last night would have suited him. for all his flaws, he gives you an out ball to progress up the pitch and maybe buy a free kick when you have to defend deep. we missed that yesterday after gordon went off and with no willock. i also think he would have done well in the champions league because he loves the big stage. he'd often go missing only to turn up against a team such as man city. but hey ho. ancient history now

Jesus was a rasta who liked a bit of BDSM apparently? Maybe there is something to this religion malarkey after all.

They're mentally ill, man. Our transition in the last 18 months has completely broken them. This is genuine alternative reality, psych ward shit.

You can say what you like about Mussolini but at least...

Hook, line and … … stinker.

IMO Bruno has been better last two games. Hopefully thats because of an uptick in form and they've employed a nanny.

On the back of some pretty consistent chat about our press not being as effective as last year, I'm wondering if it's not linked to the difficulty of our opening fixtures this season. I do agree that our press certainly doesn't seem to have the aggression to it that it did last year. But perhaps there are mitigating circumstances. It would be nice to have some numbers to see the relative downturn. Would it be possible (by one of the boffins) to put together a sample for PPDA for the corresponding PL fixtures from last season to this season? And/or any other relevant statistic that is taken to be representative of press frequency and effectiveness. I have also been wondering if it's perhaps one of those things too where a slight lack of confidence is enough to have an impact on our ability to press our opponents. It would seem that such a philosophy requires supreme confidence in each other to pull it off as pressing high up the pitch risks being opened up at the back if it is not performed effectively. Or maybe the run of goals conceded later in the season last has led to a bit of a rejig of Howe's thinking to perhaps try to time our press a little more selectively. Or maybe it's something else entirely. Anyway, I'm off work sick, so I need something to pass the time. And certainly don't take me asking for statistics as a come on either. I know you spreadsheet types. You'll take any attention as an invitation to drop your knickers. I just want to get the raw, hard data. That's all. Raw and hard. Nothing more.

Two clean sheets in a row too. Equalled Howmanheyman's PB.

"Eeeeeey shurrup Harv Jewnya, am a fuckun celebriteeeey!"

It’ll be bad enough being a mackem, but whoever Crackney and Lacey’s kids are must feel extra shite by now. #imagine.

Over the moon. Been offered a role with the AA that means I'm going to finally be able to chip into the debts I've racked up in recent years. The relief is palpable.

There are no words. Simply sublime.

He was sold to give us more wriggle room to pick up players due to ffp and us not having anyone else that could be sold for good coin. ASM putting this club on his back one last time

Also, its completely natural for even top sides' form to drop off, happens to the best. Constantly adapting and refreshing is something the best teams learn to do over time.