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His lass is always out and about, like. Seemingly oblivious to the fact that Newcastle simply does not produce women that look like her

Someone take the doddery old cunt back to the bar/nursing home.

You can stick your Milanese ristorantes up your arse.

A pal of mine got so arseholed in one of the boxes that he staggered out a good while after the match had ended, went to get the bus near the central station, saw some Grimsby fans, gave them stick after he got jumped on down there in the previous game against them, he then got howked again and so became the only Newcastle fan alive to be chinned home and away by Grimsby. The point of course is you can get very drunk in those places.

We notoriously drop points early on and this is our toughest fixture. Kev injured. But perhaps more crucially, so are Stones and Dias. Also Gundogan is a massive loss to us in both rhythm and creativity. It'll take a while to heal that hole. Think you're facing us at just the right time for you but at the same time, this is Pep. Pep knows all of the above and he just may have a cunning plan.

Christ. If you rolled her in flour she’d eat it.

Joking apart though. Imagine if your whole raison d’etre was being the person who started every thread for every bit of televised football on a given day. And then there’s that Hank Williams too

I bet they don't mention Arsenal.

At no point did they play us off the pitch. What did happen was that Aston Villa played well. They even went for a goal when they were 5-1 down and I have no doubt that they will have a good season, a great one compared to their recent history. This does not detract from our victory, on the contrary, it shows that we are going to be a really difficult team to get anything from this year. I thought we may drop down to about 6th this year and I would have been happy with that given our recent history. Based off Saturday, I just cannot see that happening now. I still think Aston Villa will have a good year based off their game with us.

I'd like to believe it's corruption but I honestly think it's just a combination of stupidity, arrogance and incompetence. I mean it takes a special type to be a referee. Life's losers with a megalomaniac streak. Shit people making shit decisions, revelling in it, and believing they're above criticism afterwards. Any normal person would have the humility to refrain from seeking out a position where they had millions of dollars and people's livelihoods in the palm of their hands based on their subjective rulings over nebulous events. Any normal person would be crippled by doubt over having such responsibility to be "right" in such a situation fraught with uncertainties. Not these mongs. Perpetually picked last during schoolyard games, these nerds have taken their rejection on the playground into the world at large to make themselves public outcasts all in service of the idea that attention of any kind is better than none at all.

Tbh am reading ewerk’s post as “are any of you daft enough to spunk £500 to watch a football match with me?”

OG ? His ex Mrs is a mag, and was a Skunker, those of us online at the time got an "as it happened" commentary, he later came on the forum and completely lost it, it was tremendous.

Offset by her tatty bush.

Get ready for the media attacks (we have a media thread on our forum but couldn't find one on yours) ahead of saturday. Oil this, human rights that. Oil money ruining football (forget the facts, like our low net spend over many years)

purple nosed, whisky drenched, sweaty sop. stupid old cunt.

Signing of the season: Tonali Top goalscorer: Isak Biggest surprise: Bruno sold to City PL finish: top 4 CL finish: Do well to get out of the group as unseeded. Took us a while. Trophies? None (City are on for the Quad) Signing of the season: Gvardiol Top goalscorer: um, Haaland Most assists: Kev Biggest surprise: Pep goes from 1 false centre back to two. Best Young player: McAtee Player of the season: Rodri PL finish: 1st CL finish: Winners Trophies? All of them (bar the charity shield)

Chelsea have shifted plenty of their shite in this window but the thing about the signings they've made is that the amortisation charge is recurring every year while the sales are only accounted for in the period they happen. So basically Chelsea are going to have to continue making sales next summer and if they can get one tied up now then that provides an element of certainty on their side.

Note #5

Whilst we’re at it, I wonder if Mrs Tonali has finished her “second album”?

They'd have to identify officials for training in some sort of adoption procedure because once you get the ones who have self-selected to be officials the damage is already done. They've already been rejected by parents, peers, and their siblings, though not by that one strange uncle who seems suss. By then it's already established psychologically that they must have the approval of the cool kids even though they can never earn the respect of the cool kids no matter how much they try. We have a natural analogy to this in the wider community with the basic shape of every redheaded child's development into adulthood. These poor rangas are constantly on the lookout for attention as compensation for that deep-seated emptiness inside left dwelling there from the moment of disappointment at birth when their mother saw the colour of their hair. That sense of disappointment coupled with the initial bonding with the mother formulates a psychological association in the child between other people's disappointment/annoyance and love. Sometimes it manifests as becoming a referee to seek out attention at all costs. Other times it comes out as an overwhelming desire to be adored by a bunch of people you consistently refer to as your "fans" on a football forum.

There's really no point to VAR if it's not seen to be impartial, fair and competently done. It was supposed to eliminate controversy, all it does is stoke it. Most people said last season it was shite or bent (or both) and its going to be more of the same this season. Scrap it I say....invest in the recruitment, training and pay of elite officials, with a separate body from the PL overseeing the performance and fitness of officials. If someone isn't cutting the mustard they should be dropped and forced to work their way back in or retire. This isnt hard.

Aye and there was more fuss raised about us getting 25m for ASM than there was for Chelsea shipping out all of their deadwood to Saudi.

They're petrified they'll be hounded by a compliant media amplifying and basically doing the bidding of the howls from the likes of Klopp, Arteta and the Dutch nonce at old Trafford. They bottle it, pure and simple.

I don't know about corruption, but there is definitely bias, intentional or otherwise. Encouraged by the fact that the whole system these days is setup to ensure the status quo is protected.

not too dissimilar to @Gemmill in fairness.

Finally Liverpool have signed a midfielder.

13 goals in a week on my watch- beat that you big ginger taxi-danger.

4-1 us Tonali Isak Barnes and Gordon For Man C

8 match threads started, 8 unbeaten. blows out the water anything arsene wenger thinks he achieved. I am the invincible.

I tell you what, it's tough at the top. Having to endure this grief from the absolute dregs of the thread starting world.

A point will be an acceptable result away at our biggest rivals for the title. KDB is injured. Good time to play them?

aye, very poor title. you'd have thought you'd have a bit more effort in to the last one you'll be starting for a while.

Think Fergie's stroke coupled with a clear drinking problem has affected his mind. I would love it, love it if he was sectioned.

Everything is aligning for a changing of the guard

sadly i can't click on that as they live on clicks

In fact, the Russian school of propaganda learned their trade from the Sun.

At no point did Aston Villa play us off the park. Not even close.

Someone suggested on twitter singing 'Hey Sandro, Sandro italiano' to 'Mambo italiano' but in the rush of youth or a lack of creativity left it at that so I added the rest what with being the toontastic lyrical gangster.... 🎶 Hey Sandro! Sandro Italiano Hey Sandro! Sandro Italiano Go, go, go You sexy bastard from Milano All you crazy Geordies go a loco for the Milanese Sandrooo....... .....Italianooooo! 🎵

Mackem monorail. Imagine…

That’s the reaction from a grown man after someone else started a match thread. Followed by his starting his own rival match thread for Man Utd v Wolves.

The comment above it too btw.

We need to be buying Brighton's replacements before Brighton buy them. He'll be worth £150mil in 6 months! Chelea buying Olise too ffs. They've just got shot of all their shite, and are now spending £200+mil on players worth less than half that

Fancy us here. Man City are in 3rd gear until winter, will miss Gundogan more than they think, de Bruyne is spazzed and we've massively upgraded Saint-Maximin. 3-1 us and Pep paying homage to the Kings of the North after.

Can't wait for him or one of his cronies getting carded for being in the technical area at the wrong time. He'd turn coal to diamonds with his jaw clenching.

There's an app called wonder where you give it a prompt and the AI produces art of your prompt. I've tried to get it to do a pic of Eddie Howe kicking fuck out of Klopp, but the best it's done so far is this picture of Wayne Rooney eating baked beans.

All his little worshippers just chuckling along as well, instead of someone saying "er mate, we've never seen Jason Tindall pull a hamstring trying to wind a fourth official up".