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Gipetto reckons the Amazon documentary will mention Sunderland in the first few sentences. And the other example reckons we're just copying Sunderland by having the documentary. Amanda: "Hello? Is that Amazon media productions? Hi it's Amanda Stavely here. I'm desperate to copy Sunderland and have a documentary about being relegated to the third division, sorry, I mean a documentary about the club as we hopefully have a good season." Amazon: "Yep, we can do that. This upcoming season ok?" Amanda: "That would be great. One other thing, can you make sure you mention Sunderland in the first few sentences of the first programme?" Amazon: "Do Marras shit in public places?" Amanda and Amazon: [ROFL]

The thing re: Man Utd at home was that whilst it wasn’t the cakewalk it was against Spurs, it was almost as dominant a performance and Man Utd were extremely flattered by the 2-0 score.

Those 2 games against Man U and Spurs were the most impressive of the whole campaign. All that pressure of playing against top 4 rivals near the business end of the season, and yet to look so confident, and dominate the games - I can’t think of anything like it in the last 20 years.

The thing about Burn is with Trippier bombing forward so much we quite often are almost playing 3 at the back which Burns ability as a centre half allows. I think his versatility and intelligence is underrated, and he is not really playing as a traditional left back in a flat back 4

Look who’s bragging about not being caught… yet.

He could sell them to Gemmil.

One and the same Fish

You and Adam P don’t count as multiple people

The little cunt must be costing his mam a fortune.

I’m disappointed in the theme music composer, I thought he came from a better family than that.

He probably watered it down for the cameras as well. Im sure "bald nonce" would have been used for a start.

Now featuring fucking chronic rule changes where referees can give bookings for completely random shite but still can’t get penalty decisions right after looking at 15 replays

That’s a new Gordon and Tonali shirt for Adam P.

What, you mean it isn't?

I see there are a number of convicted rapists posting on this page.

Pretty much spot on that. I liked Maxi, on his day he was absolutely class. But his day wasn't regular enough and his injuries stopped any regular consistency. He was still a good servant for us and loved the club, for a while he was the only shining light at the club under FCB and Cabbage. We all move on.

Tbf it won't be anywhere near as funny or entertaining as the mackem mockumentary one, which gave This is Spinal Tap a run for their money. I still laugh when I thinkof the WIll Grigg negotiations.

He needs to invest in some new joggers those must be stained to fuck

Cheers HMHM, it's good to know who the reliables are around this place.

Personally, I quite like Andersen. He would see his signing well. He doesn't seem like a very different footballer to Schar to me and I think that what these graphs basically tell us is that Schar is better in the opposite area because we have scored more goals in his corner shots. The other details are a little lower than those of Schar, but that can also be understood because it is not the same to play in a Newcastle that has been 4th than in a Crystal Palace, due to style of play. I think he could be an interesting signing to be the third centre-back and to play now that Schar is not here. Another option would be to spend a lot of money on a top center back and already trust him as part of the future with Botman and leave Schar in a secondary position. (Everything will depend on the severity of his injury).

I'm not sure it's a given that Livramento or Trippier will play left back. Last season we played with 4 at the back which morphed into 3 whenever Trippier advanced, Burn shifting across and the left sided midfielder and forward providing cover on the flanks. Part of the reason why ASM wasn't the man to hold down a place. Targett and Burn are fine at left back until such a time as a Trippier standard leftback becomes available at the right price. RCB is, for me, a higher priority. Without Schar we lose a lot of the outballs which caught so many opponents flatfooted. Dunno who we could pick up, Anderson from Palace is rumoured, but I dunno

That Kev Lawson fella seems to have a great insight. Enjoy reading his stuff! Maybe part of the contract for Livramento is to pretend he is Italian to help Tonali settle in quickly

They must be sick of the fucking sight of him.

No not at all, have you ever seen Gemmill and Adam P in the same room at the same time?

Hope you're not suggesting I'm remotely interested in the soiled undercrackers of Adweym Pwyearsohn.

Nice tribute to ASM from the nufc.com boys. Sums him up pretty well The sale of Allan Saint-Maximin comes just short of four years since his arrival on Tyneside for a claimed £18m fee from OGC Nice in his native France. Making the first of 111 Premier League appearances (85 starts) in a home defeat to Arsenal, Maxi got off the mark with a header away at Sheffield United that December - with 11 more to follow. His final stats read 124 games in all competitions and 13 goals. Rousing but inconsistent displays were interrupted by niggling injuries but evidence of his fitness came with a sensational strike in the FA Cup at Oxford United - prompting an infamous off-field fan celebration.... His second season followed a similar pattern, some eye-catching displays and availability issues that culminated in a positive COVID-19 test - although his place in the side was already under threat following off-field issues with Steve Bruce. But his performances towards the end of the campaign helped his side comfortably stay in the Premier League - a memorable goal at Burnley proving pivotal. The following season saw ASM become even more influential; his own displays a barometer for how well or badly the team collectively played. Quite simply, if he didn't play then neither did we. The arrival of Eddie Howe and a busy transfer window then took some of the pressure off Maxi, as goals and encouraging displays came from other sources. What proved to be his last competitive appearance for the club saw him last 69 minutes of the season closer at Stamford Bridge, while the final sighting of ASM in our colours came at Gateshead in this pre-season - bowing out with a goal and an assist. We have mixed feelings on the departure of a player whose presence and impact echoed the very best days of compatriots David Ginola, Laurent Robert and Hatem Ben Arfa - plus the unpredictability of Tino Asprilla. On his day he was untouchable; his devastating display in the 3-3 home draw against Manchester City and the last minute beauty scored at Wolves the high points of last season - although both came in August. His introduction as an impact substitute often roused the crowd and his colleagues, but the frustration of opting to shoot or continue his perpetual motion when a passing opportunity came was endlessly frustrating - not to mention losing possession in dangerous areas with colleagues committed to going forward. While there's understandable anguish from fans with no previous experience of losing a favourite player, the revival of this football club that is in no small part due to his input looks to have seen him depart. We've arguably seen the best of him when the big fish in our small pool and the time to sell is now - even if the amount received seems low. In times past we'd have given him a new five year contract. The trust level that Eddie Howe and the recruitment team enjoy means that people trust the process with Maxi's sale and the acquisition of Harvey Barnes - just nine months younger and less individualistic, but more adaptable (hopefully) on a collective team level. We were privileged to witness the mercurial talents of Maxi and grateful for the injection of excitement he provided in what really were austere times for Newcastle fans - and not just on the field. That lockdown restrictions prevented celebrations of his goals at Turf Moor and Old Trafford in person remains a frustration, while the Carabao Cup Final defeat becomes even more regrettable as being the nearest Maxi would ever come to lifting silverware here. Players with levels that high don't come around very often and he's up there with the Magpie mavericks of whatever era you recall. As we hopefully advance on and off the field, cherish the memories, watch his clips online and remember when he was the only game in our town. Merci, au revoir et bonne chance.

Thoughts and prayers. 🙏

Friday. Leighton Baines.

Take a pay cut so your name can be sung by shit fans from a shit town in a shit league. Yes, I can see how that's an irresistible offer, Tony.

HGV'dYP

This is getting ridiculous. I doubt we will ever bring in checks on EU imports. Although we may be taken to the WTO by a third country soon. Also we have binned plans for the UKCA to replace the CE mark, granting the CE mark equivalence, which largely makes UKCA an inconvenience for UK companies only. Fucking madness. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/08/02/rishi-sunak-brexit-eu-rules-ce-mark/#comment

ah divvent knah his propa name

Am understudy to Schar would be great, preferably one with pace, which is our defence’s one obvious weakness - none of them are the quickest. I’d still like to see us sign a proper modern attacking left back. I love Dan Burn but feel this experiment with him playing out of position will surely run its course when we play in the champions league. I’d much rather we was competing with Botman for the LCB spot. I wouldn’t mind another forward option too. But then I’m a greedy cunt. Just nailed a massive vat of cheese fondue 🫕

Mbappe had only played 41 senior games before moving for €180m. We’ve got a bargain.

He’s not replacing anyone at left back, he’s easing the burden on Trippier ahead of a campaign that’s being fought on 4 fronts ffs. We have two recognised left backs, we only had one right back worthy of the name. As in, a right back who is creating the most chances of anyone. So much of our play goes down the right hand side and especially through Trippier’s crosses. He’s far more important to the side than Burn or Targett. You had to get a second right back who you believe is on the level of Trippier, the quality left back can come later. This kid is fucking tremendous. 40 million is a bargain

MF on his way to work

I’m 10 miles and about 4 centuries away.

I just watched that episode again during a late lunch break. It is comedy gold. Possibly my favourite bit outside the Stewart "negotiations" (read him getting bent over a barrel and dry humped for 4 hours) was the BBC Newcastle reporters at the match afterwards. Paraphrasing, "It appears Will Grigg is not on fire. He's gone out". Also that beant hat weirdo, the one wholives in his Mam's attic, appears in it, never noticed it before.

He seems to be the number one choice to replace Trippier when he slows down and then retires, and his price would likely have only doubled if we'd waited, or indeed Chelsea may have activated their buy back clause that would have kicked in season after next. A bit like Gordon who signed six months early it's a transfer of opportunism. Edit. The Chelsea buy back clause is already in effect, but that point still stands.

Ashworth’s plan at Brighton was very much to sign the star players replacement before the star had left. Trippier is 32 and we’re also playing upward of 50 games this season. Without taking into account Trippier naturally winding down, Livramento is a player for now, to cover Trippier for the big games but also the player to replace Trippier in the long run. We need two decent right backs more than the left back position because, no matter what you think, Burn and Targett are perfectly good left backs

Ask one of the servants FFS