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Few years ago I was on a train and there's was a group sat a few seat behind me drinking and being loud and obnoxious as fuck. I did the same, headphones in to drown the cunts out. When I stood up to get off the train and realised they were a group of my mates and we were all going to the same gig.

He's a likeable circus act. No issue with him but I'm glad he's gone cos a serious football team has no place for that. One day he'll be contacted by Steve Wraith for a cult talk-in at the Corner House or something to fund the replacement of ex-council house windows whilst we're shafting Real Madrid, and I'm still denying the need for reading glasses. Can't fucking wait.

Apart from the whole incident being created from his error he just stands there for about two seconds too.

Fuck off

“ Hey Steve, Fancy managing a club in the Saudi League…” “ We’ll pay you £8 million a year and we won’t ask for any tactics…” “ Oh aye, no one here really cares, it’s purely a vanity project. You’ll have plenty of time to write new thrillers.” “ The club’s called Al- Shabob and it…”

He's not a bad keeper, but Darlow is noticeably worse than Dubravka. And Dubravka is noticeably worse than Pope.

Very special experience, I screamed myself hoarse at the end. It was a little disheartening to see us a) playing crap in the first half and b) missing so many first-teamers, but things improved a lot once Brighton took off much of their much-stronger starting XI and our kids grew into the game. Barnes looked quite good though he should've scored in the first half. I don't know if we were under explicit instructions to play out the back, but the regularity with which we screwed it up in the first half was alarming (understandable maybe considering Dummett and Lascelles were playing.) Murphy barely touched the ball in the first half, I wouldn't have known he was playing if I hadn't seen his name on the lineup, but he definitely made an impression in the second. The atmosphere was a little flat considering how non-partisan the crowd was, though our lads in the designated NUFC sections made noise all game long. Some of the biggest cheers were for Caicedo and Estupinan, who were supported by hordes of Ecuadorian fans in yellow, almost as if there were a third team playing. The worst part was having to listen to a typical yankee doodle dumbass sat next to me, purportedly an Arsenal fan, who knew everything and nothing about football. The stadium also played the Blaydon Races at the end as we were filtering out, which was a nice touch.

Had a mega weekend in London. Getting the train back was painful. Customer service was absolutely shocking on the train. Then some young lad was facetiming his lass loud as fuck. I put my earphones in after 30 minutes of leaving kings cross and so did our lass. Then This huge bastard got up and told him to stop being a selfish bastard and put his earphones in as he didn't want to hear his bird whine on about what a shit day she's had clearning out her knicker draw

We'll chuck you a banana when we require your input, numbnuts.

It'd be a bit harder to source bacon though.

You render fat don’t you? Might come back slimmer

I’d be more worried if there were 2/3 clubs out there with the financial muscle for the 100 mill fee and about half that in wages + the requirement for a top class central midfielder…. Real Madrid have just signed Bellingham and Guler, Barca Gundogan and Gonzalez. So that leaves our new friends in Saudi Arabia, you’d imagine that would be highly unlikely this summer….his agent has told him to go public to force the issue. I’d be very surprised if playing for NUFC regardless of what happens in the next three seasons is the extent of Bruno’s ambitions though…

When the club is posting this as his highlight then maybe he wasn’t all that good.

He’s now waiting on Gerrard to return the favour out in Saudi.

Surely the clubs moaning about us dealing with the. Pic will now moan we've been underpaid?

A bloke who posts any old shit purely to get followers and about 90% of his followers only do so to take the piss. The futility of modern life

I think this is a good summary. I didn't understand why we went for Dubravka when we did as Darlow was doing a good job. The outcome was a clear improvement. Then the same happened with Pope, a massive improvement.

Agree to disagree with both of you. He’s very poor, but what do I know about goalkeeping.

Cheeky bastard.…

Would have won 3, possibly 4-0 had they not played to the hype.

You forgot this one..... Please, no need for thanks at this difficult time.

Worst NUFC-related news in years. That LTA is staying, I mean.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, its real isnt it, its fucking real. Was in woolies when I first saw that post, fell down to my knees in the middle of the aisle, didnt want to believe it, been drinking every since. This is some serious bullshit, complete bullshit. Selling our best player for pennies, THE GOAT. a complete betrayal. 80mil plus spend on LWs on inferior players, a headless chook and bumbling barnes. fmd. This is a WAR CRIME. It feels like a nightmare come true and the emotions have been overwhelming, it's hard to shake off the feeling of despair. Saint-Maximin wasn't just any player, he was the heartbeat of our team. Whenever he had the ball, MAGIC happened. He could take on multiple defenders, create opportunities out of thin air, and score breathtaking goals that left us all in awe. Keep watching video after video of ASM with tears in my eyes even now, fuck. a bittersweet reminder of the joy he brought us and the immense void his absence leaves behind. a source of comfort and torment. His time with the club will always be etched in my memories. I'll cherish the moments of joy and brilliance he brought to the pitch, and he will forever be a hero in my heart. His legacy will endure, I WILL MAKE SURE OF IT. I'll wear his shirt with pride and share his stories with future generations of fans. and for anyone who thought I was leaving just because ASM has left, needs to find the nearest mirror, look deep into your own eyes and say "im a complete Muppet". FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.FUCK.

Absolutely wish him well. That departure statement seemed really sincere and in my eyes he's a true friend of the club and was a bright spark in the dark times. Good luck ASM.

Similar to what I was saying earlier, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being sentimental as a fan. If you’re not you’re probably not much of a football fan. Good managers are ruthless though. I do think there’s other factors like FFP, for example. And I think it’s probably the case we got less than we might have just to avoid further scrutiny/hassle. But it’s also a position where we are well stocked and ASM is probably the least ‘Howe type of player’ we had in terms of wingers.

Agreed. We can disagree about his value on the pitch but the consensus seems to be he was a good lad off it. He was good value on social media foo, interacting with fans, taking the piss out of mackems etc. I’m sorry he’s leaving. I would have liked to see what he would have offered in the champions league

Liveramento leaving?

Well, yeah. It’s a massive missed opportunity. But not really down to poor fortune. It’s down to poor batting and missed opportunities in the field giving the team a massive mountain to climb. I don’t see that as bad luck in terms of going 2-0 down. I think it’s a very odd series as the England team have looked so dominant after those first two tests. And Australia have played in a very defensive manner. Which I don’t think has benefited them tbh. Sums it up nicely. I think England have learned as the series goes on. If you have a read back through the thread I think that’s what most people wanted. Reining in the more extravagant shots when the situation demanded it. I still think selecting Bairstow cost England the series too

England won 4 out of 5 tosses, often bowled in the best conditions and Australia lost the services of the best off spinner in test cricket (who previously played in 100 consecutive tests). I think the luck has probably evened itself out tbh. Close to victory at Lord’s is overstating it too. It took an incredible innings by Stokes to get within 50 runs in a not particularly high scoring test.

I always thought darlow was ok, what makes him so bad?

Darlow is bottom half of the PL level, which is pretty decent. He'll be one of the better keepers in the Championship. 400,000, if that's what the fee was, is pretty cheap given how crazy the market is.

It'sh, how you shay, the porno, yesh?

I can’t but it’s bound to be a bit cheesy

I’m not sure if your post is tongue in cheek LTA.

Off to interlaken, Lauterbrunnen and Grindlewald in the Swiss alps. Looks alreet like We’re then getting a train to Lake Lugano and finally Lake Como

I am still angry that he didn’t include the penicopter in his farewell video though.

I enjoyed the first 85 minutes and ended up feeling far too deflated after watching a friendly when I usually don't do friendlies! . After a night's sleep I feel much better after coming to realise that that was a good test last night. Just the right amount of edge in it to make it competitive and worthwhile. Like Newcastle we've not fielded anywhere near a strong side throughout and have had Gross at RB!! Van Hecke & Veltman in front of a rookie keeper getting used to playing our system was a big ask. De Zerbi seemed to use this series to blood players with just 2 or three 1st Team appearances (or just 4 minutes at Villa Parkin the case of young Hinshelwood who is not even a FB) to see how they would cope. I thought they did well. We played most of the 2nd half with largely our u21 side on the pitch (with J. Pedro yet to feature in earnest) I have a suspicion E Howe will have had much the same mindset. We both go into uncharted waters with the amount of fixtures coming up. Heaven knows, what the starting line ups will be in the early stages of the League Cup. All good really, I enjoyed last night's match it augers well. Good luck for the coming campaign and, I look forward to meeting a few of you early next season at the Amex,the best set of visiting supporters to come here bar none

I was just trying to get a rise tbh. I wish him well, I agree with Isegrims posts from earlier.

Whatever we, as fans, think of him, there’s absolutely no way he’d be leaving for £30m if Howe really wanted to keep him (as opposed to just saying all right things about him).

Nah sorry Wykiki, he was outstanding at times, frustrating at others. He gave hope when we were absolutely shit and he was entertaining when everyone else was Bruced. He clearly loved being the big fish in the little pond but then the pond got bigger. Wish him well wherever he goes.

@asaintmaximin "4 years ago, I wore the Newcastle jersey for the first time. At that moment, I hadn’t realized that not only was I about to become a Newcastle player, but I was also about to become a Geordie. You might think « nice Goodbye message » but the sentiment runs deeper than any words I could say, from the very first months that I met the people of this city, I truly understood them and embraced their unwavering passion, which is why it was so important for me to give my all and if this meant to play injured or even not making statistics, I didn’t give a shiy as long as it would help my team. Believe me, I fell for Newcastle, I had great opportunities to leave during dark days, but that was too late I was already in love, I wanted, I needed, I had to stay for helping my team to save the club from Premier League relegation because it meant the world for me. Of course during those dark days some may have had their doubts, but I always believed in this club and look where we are today, it's just so beautiful. I'm leaving Newcastle as it should always have been and that's my greatest trophy because I was a part of it. A deep thank you to ALL of you, my team mates, the loyal fans, the staff, the Club, etc… I’ve seen all your messages, thank you and even though this chapter has ended, the story never stops. Newcastle is home now, I'll continue to be your biggest supporter, I'll watch every game and as long as the club keeps winning I'll be the happiest man in the world… and for sure you will see me again I love you, I love you sincerely, I love you like a Geordie brother. Once a Geordie, always a Geordie."

@The Fish You’ve given your latest burner account a fuckin stupid name this time mind Dave

I actually LOL'd when he took a black light to the air conditioning unit. He probably jizzed on it himself to provide content