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I've reviewed the add-ons and can't see anything out of the ordinary. Complete a stepover - £15m Fall down and roll dramatically - £15m Stay down after playing for a FK and not getting one - £15m Shoot - £15m Fail to track back and/or to make a tackle - £15m Complete another stepover - £15m Wear unnecessary bandages/strapping - £15m Tweet a picture of yourself training - £15m Score (or witness a goal) - £15m Assist (or witness an assist) - £15m

I'm fucking crying here, mind.

£30m + £150m in add-ons

Mehrdad absolutely fucking sick of bumping into that freak

Eddie Howe looks like he’s there on a Make a Wish trip.

The freaky thing is that’s the spitting image of my dog.

So how close is Fury v Joshua then Albert, you know, something actually worth watching? If your phenomenally bent fuckin “sport” can’t provide what it’s public actually want then why the actual fucking fuck do you expect us to be fuckin interested in this mind numbingly irrelevant parcel of fuckin shit that you’re trying to peddle here? Fucks sakes man, have some fuckin self respect. You’re trying sell sell us a knapsack full of cold sick but you’re dressing it up as a diamanté encrusted Louis Vuitton clutch bag. Are your parents proud of you Albert? Really proud? Albert? Are they?

Holt's morals seem a tad selective.

I would question whether the £30m figure being quoted is accurate. It could be a number floated in order to pacify critics. Certainly at that price you would think there would be other clubs in for him, though obviously they couldn’t match Saudi wages.

Never mind that but are people actually expecting Chelsea to challenge with that squad?

The Ashington equestrian society won’t be happy

He should have left in a helicopter tbh He was the little spark in the dark times. I will miss him, but the transfer does unfortunately make a lot sense.

Kind of looks like Darth Vader without his mask on

And that he must have been on the plane right around the time Eddie said he had no further updates and he was still a Leicester player 😂

Has been running since June 30th.

It’s staggering they’ve spent so much when you look at their squad.

That's fucking shocking. Absolutely shit people can save and look forward to a holiday all year and this happens. Also shocking that we've another summer of extreme weather just at a time the tories are on the verge of being a climate changer denier party whilst dragging Labour with the hapless Starmer over with them. Sorry for the politics, but it is actually politics that has caused this and will continue to blight our kids lives.

There are much more off-market operations than Saint Maximin's that concern the Premier League in recent years, but those are not going to be investigated: Enzo and Rice for 105M Anthony for 90M Maguire for 85M Kepa for 80M Pepe for 75M Pulisic for 65M Ndombele for 60M Naby Keita for 60M Cucurella for 60M Onana for 50M Cunha for 45M Matheus Nunes for 45M Pedro Porro for 37M

An uncle of mine had holiday home on an island in the Med. Voted Leave. Sold it at a knock down because the market was flooded. Suck it up sunshine

What’s Howe doing with that towel? Expecting Vogons?

I’m sure this is a National Lampoons movie.

What reputation?

You'd be less likely to stall if you got off your phone.

Audi A3 the robbing cunts. So got the AA out again and he checked the battery which is completely fucked. Jump started the car but told me it wouldn't start again if I stalled it. Okay, haven't stalled this car before but now the knowledge of this has given me Jimmy legs. Then I'm driving and because the electrics aren't working and neither are any of the assist features including hill assist, so for the first time in 6 years I'm driving a car where I have to use the hand brake, knowing if I stall I'm fucked. The kid 2 gets car sick starts throwing up. Then Granny has cramp and a panic attack. Kid 1 inexplicably opens the door on the motorway. Back at the garage now, handed in my car keys a gibbering wreck. And they wonder why I have anxiety issues.

You should be using car batteries. Those AA ones aren’t powerful enough

A minutes silence for Steve Wraiths reputation.

One of them kids doctor preverts.

On holiday in the lakes. Car wouldn't start second day, got AA out, they charged it enough to drive, but the battery is fucked, won't hold the charge properly. £300 for a new battery but that invalidates the warranty so I need to get to an official garage. Advised me to run it every day which I did, and it worked. Until I have to come home today, and now the fuckers dead again. Rats cocks. Waiting for the AA again, with enough luggage to fill an HGV, a wife, a granny, two bored kids. Granny has lost her medication and is getting ill. Im bankrupt as its 15 quid for a shitty burger here. I've been holidaying with my brother and family for a decade but I've belatedly decided that thus holiday is a source of my anxiety, not a release, as was proven by last year. Never again.

Tonali took a while to officially announce too. Wonder if this is more contingent on the ASM deal finalising.

Looks like Mad Dog has just heard some of their poetry.

Just switch it off for 30 seconds then switch it back on again.

There’s nothing they can do to stop it. And you’d imagine any attempt to regulate fees would be totally unworkable anyway. As it’s far more subjective than sponsorship deals. Even then we know from the past any regulations are only going to benefit the richer clubs anyway. On top of it being ludicrous given what’s already happened

If we sell him for £30m I reckon that’s undervaluing him tbh.

Any money one of the clubs complaining is Liverpool!

Why is Ornstein or these clubs bringing up market value? Firstly they need to stop crying any and everytime the club do anything, there’s nothing dodgy about the ASM deal - it’s a fair fee all things considered it’s not like we’re getting 55m for Hendricks. There’s also no such rule or anything about market value, they could give us 300m if they wanted. I also don’t get why they think the PL has purview over what a Saudi Arabian club do, even UEFA doesn’t - if our owners wanted to take the piss they absolutely could have as there’s nothing stopping them, but they haven’t and still these clubs and journalists whinge I can’t see the PL wanting to touch this one with a ten foot barge pole as they’ll know PiF are playing ball. I also don’t get all these conspiracies about the ASM deal, if the PiF was using these clubs to massively aid NUFC they’d never have given Liverpool and Chelsea large sums of money for their aging/unwanted players completely flies in the face of the idea they’re helping NUFC with this.

Sounds positively serene.

Reading that, MF I remember him appearing on kids telly including Tiswas now too.

Touchy Hutchy ( ) was the year above me at school. Yet another success out of that place

There's a lot of that. The idea that we're gaming the system by having a PIF owned club buying a player from another PIF owned club. When in reality the PL teams benefiting most from the sudden largesse have been Wolves and Chelsea. We're selling a player for around their Transfermarkt 'market value', those clubs sold their players for comfortably more than they're worth. The Sela sponsorship is 'outrageous', when in reality it's the going rate for a CL club who have the ambition to become a force (and the financial backing to achieve it). But I guess it's one of the costs of being owned by the Saudis. If Zuckerberg had bought us, put Instagram as our sponsor and bought a ASM for his newly acquire MLS club, nobody would really give a shit.