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Looking at having an extension done. Got a recommendation for a builder. Contacted him and he finally came around this morning. I didn't have a great feeling about him. I sent him the drawings a couple of weeks ago and it was clear he hadn't read them. Was here about 20 miins and didn't seem bothered. He was staying this weekend at his caravan on the edge of the Dales. Somewhere I visit a lot. I asked what he was doing up there. He mentioned walking, so I said I cycled up there a lot and enjoyed it. He then said 'Oh you're not one of them side by side wankers' and started laughing. What a way not to get a job.

Did he reply, 'Well do it tha'self if you're fancy lah-de-dah chuffin' structural engineer you fookin' side to side, saddle sore arse, ponceh desktop warrior!'?

Now just jolly well listen listen here Adrian fuckin Mole, you’ve just spent/wasted a morning obsessing about this fuckin irrelevant bullshit, you’ve humble bragged about making a gif ffs Whilst you’ve been frankly embarrassing yourself with this nonsense I’ve been down the local record shop where I bought 2 Earth Wind & Fire albums and a 12” version of Boogie Wonderland…put the 12” on the deck and me and the dog had a little boogie round the living room☺️🕺🐶 I’ll let others judge who’s had the best morning but suffice to say you stay in your nerd-a-thon virgin digital bedroom and I’ll stay in the free, natural, thrusting tried & tested analogue world 👍😀 EDIT: cheers for the tip ya cunt! All sorted now 😀

Bike wanker!

It'll be user error, this. No doubt in my mind.

Burnsie, the man who claimed to be abducted by aliens is not ITK with regards to his own reality, never mind the inner workings of NUFC. A club that has locked down more secrets than North Korea

Side by side wanker

He never stood a chance.

2 followers, honestly man dont post this shit.

So does that mean if I keep refreshing my feed I'll only be fed 600 tweets a day? Musk is a fucking moron mind.

I’m away for the weekend with our lass, her two brothers & their partners and children (2.5 and 9 months) and her parents (is their wedding anniversary). Havent had a minutes peace from talking about children since Thursday night, having to play with the older one just because he happens to be a child. Finally thought I had some peace, escaped to a beer garden with my book and a pint. They have no all decided to leave the beach and come and meet me. Fucking kill iz

Honestly reckon this shit needs a 3 day ban attached. We all know who is credible and who isn’t ffs.

I'm printing this off and framing it. A little piece I like to call PADDOCKLAD'S SHAME. Been like this for weeks, he says. Lord, bless this fool.

Walk The Fuck AWAY!

He probably wanted money 🙂

May as well shut this place down if that’s the rule.

Definitely on the uppers. Resigned from Sainsburys today, which was a Fava beans and Nice Chianti moment* Kids look like they’re decent people, and have a ridiculously healthy level of sarcasm- job done New neighbours are lovely people- the previous lot were sound, I was sceptical that the new ‘uns would measure up. Blown them away, tbh. All told, compared to a while back when I was in a very dark place, it’s all smelling of roses. Happy Days! * I’ve got better graft lined up, which, tbh, wouldn’t be hard.

Bunsie broke twitter. We will hopefully see a lot less stupid rumours now.

Their dad..... "Are you not entertained, Stawb? The fucking Dambusters couldn't have dropped their bombs with more precision than my eldest dropped his load in the portapotty there, man!"

Honestly thought people might be self aware enough to talk about something other than children, but how wrong I was. I actually don’t mind these two but for 4 days it gets a bit much. They aren’t that interesting, and not everything they do needs to be a spectacle of wonder and amazement. The elder one did a shit in his portapotty thing earlier and shouted “look” when he got off it, no ta mate.

This seems legit

Was thinking that But try and remember that Gemmill will be spinning Status Quo’s Greatest Hits from noon til night on any given day

I made that headline up, he's never written that article as far as I know. I used him cos he's a purist cunt. He's also the purest cunt.

Did you get your lass to set the record away for you, Lord Fumblenuts?!

When did Twitter start making you signup/login to look at anything? Fucking Elon the cunt.

Fucking hell, another thread turned to shite by Gemmill waving his chinese mouse penis about! Anyway back in the real world, turns out Muto now plays for Vissel Kobe with Iniesta in the J-League. They're currently losing to Hokkaido Consadole Sapporo after the Kobe keeper punched a cross directly to Sapporo's striker, who finished it with ease. Muto still doesn't look like scoring.

Never seen Szbozolai play a full 90 minutes. Still gutted we missed out. Commenting on things I know next to nothing about is a hill I am prepared to die on Who are you to doubt ITKTOON95? The blokes a legend. Makes Romano look like Sean Casey

Harsh on Andrew tbh

Lol

Removed post. Note, read full twtter feed before posting.

The fans having a meltdown on Twitter must hardly have followed the club's strategy since the takeover. Its clear the objective is to be at the top one day but also that it will take time. We don't engage in bidding wars or entertain silly demands from selling clubs. It's a methodical, well planned approach and it has worked wonders for us so far. Lingaard, Ekitike, Diego Carlos, Digne, Paqueta a few that I can remember we all wanted to sign but we found better alternatives in the end. I am a bit concerned because I feel we need at least another 3 in addition to Tonali to have a good chance of retaining our CL spot, but I think the club will get them and they'll only be ones that come on our terms.

Job done.

When your lass first brought the idea up your response should've been.....

It doesn’t bother me but when I was in the lakes once I saw a group of about 8 cyclists riding 3 wide. This was on the A592 which is a busy road at the best of times. At one point a car was overtaking when it was safe to do so and then braked. One the cyclists at the front wax pointing to something on his right but the motorist, understandably, mistook it for a signal to turn. It nearly caused an accident. I always try and give cyclists loads of room btw. But cyclists can be quite inconsiderate at times too and it creates antagonism. I get that loads of drivers are fucking stupid and the cyclist will always come off worse.

Tbf that’s exactly the sort of piece he’d write

Eggfuckingzactly. Looking forward to him turning himself in knots when his beloved ManU finally gets it's dirty oil blood money. Fucking boring cunt he is.

I'm sure you've kept your counsel though, and haven't spoilt it for your lass.

Precisely. I thought the point of this place was talking bollocks about stuff we know nothing about.

I use my big manly fingers, BITCH! You are watching actual footage of the GREAT Gemmill browsing the board which he dominates. Like seeing an untameable stallion roam the plains.

He is a pure right winger. Very fast. But it is very irregular. We can say that it is a small version of ASM on the other band. In recent months I have been talking with a person in charge of the Villarreal sports management with whom I have become friends and she has confirmed that for them she is the best pearl of their academy. This year has been his best year. And for example, he himself destroyed Real Madrid. I think he could have a good impact in the Premier.

how dare you

This you?

Who the fuck’s that bint?

Slinky Malinky?