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So that’s Ben Elton not being invited round Laura K’s for Sunday morning coffee ever again

It's what you go on if you're a mackem interfering with seagulls. Or your sista

".....Little bit of politics there...."

You’re thinking about the good old days when it was a cash regista. All contactless nowadays.

this cunt our player yet?

What do you think he gets up to with these?

A few years ago, I followed Hancko a bit because I had heard so much about him. He signed him to Fiorentina (a team he sympathized with a lot) although he barely played there. Honestly, I really liked it. I almost always saw him play as a left back and never as a center back. He was on loan at Sparta Praha and it was seen that he was too good for that League. I really don't know why he never had the option to prove himself better and stay at Fiorentina. I must admit that I haven't seen him play for a couple of years, but they have told me that he has made a lot of progress and that he almost always plays center back. He would only sign him if he was going to give us a quality leap as a winger, not as a centre-back. PS: Another great quality of his is that his wife is the tennis player Kristina Pliskova.

Is it just me or has this singing lisp only come about since he came out as gay?

He’s been on for 15 minutes and literally the only two words I’ve understood out of his mouth were ‘pinball wizard’.

Why has he got one of Gloomy’s lockdown sourdoughs on his head?

And talking of the Manics, from that thread.

My wife said she's leaving me because I keep making silly puns about her dark yellow oven glove. However, I wasn't expecting to wake up this morning and find her gone, I mustard mitt.

https://apple.news/AgI8NxgHMQFKk1_XHcHHRuQ The fucking state of this article btw

Regista, that's the person you go to get your wedding certificate signed off by? Or someone on the till at Adsa?

All using the same Van Gogh painting of a skeleton smoking a rollie as an avatar no doubt

You have not just posted your own twitter roast on one like

Big exclusive for NUFCTalk there. We may or may not get maddison, but thats definitely bollocks.

Big fan of how Diego comes into this thread and basically says “this lad we want to sign is fucking class” and then fucks off. The kid has made me more positive about all of our signings more than anyone else, what a man

Looking for their tea?

And I think it's gonna be a long, long, long, long, long, long, long time

He’s doing Vic Reeves on Shooting Stars as a clerb singer now, right?

Kiki Dee looks canny, mind

For clarity, he’s a member of, and spokesman for, the LDS Church in the US, who believe that, whilst “same gender attraction” is not a sin, acting on it is.

You are a bunch of old cunts, and having a go at Elton John who is 76 year old. See how good youse lot are your jobs at that age. He knows he shite, he’s come out with a tight band, and played all the hits. He can’t much more than he is.

Jesus Christ. Elton Hercules John waddling on stage there. Obviously didn't have time to fit the Stannah stairlift like his bespoke gigs. Honestly, Glastonbury has become a bit of a freak show.

Chicken nonce pretending to be cool yet managing to have another meltdown on Twitter:

Also soundtracked the original GILF movie ‘Harold and Maude’

Cat Stevens putting on a decent show for his age

Scanning it, it seems to be saying, yeah, the lifestyle and pay is better, but there are not enough coffee breaks, I don't get to sip pina coladas on the beach at weekends, the NHS is nearly as good, and it's a long way from home if there's an emergency family situation No shit. My nephew's loving it like, Melbourne is apparently an upgrade on Stanley County Durham strangely enough.

And another assist!

This lad might have a future up front for us

My wife just left me. She says life revolves around football and she's sick of it. I'm quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons

I put the manics on earlier and they cleared the room so good to see one act hasn’t lost it

They will give them to him just to fuck him off

Was Lizzo on like? She’s done canny pop tunes Tbf. Unlike most of the acts (in the last decade or so anyway). I’m sure there’s some decent stuff if you look round the smaller stages but the headline acts seem to have been old codgers for the last 20 years at least. So you might as well go to a smaller festival that’s more your cup of char anyway. It’s a completely different event to when you had Radiohead or Orbital in the 90s. In fact Orbital still regularly play there which probably tells you everything you need to know as they must be about 60 now and haven’t released anything of note for fucking ages

FYP

The performance summed up

Have you broken the updated TT booze limits again?