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and so…taking a working class lad to a free bar in soho ISN’T a good idea….and I’ve realised I’m alcohol dependent and I’m going through medical treatment. its absolutely fucking horrible to admit but I’m at that stage now, very much at a crossroads i absolutely fucking love drink, but some things are more important and it’s time to get sober

Sounds like they had a lucky escape. They nearly ended up in Sunderland

Ultimately I’ve made the decision to be a musician rather than a drinker, that was what was on the table basically.

Saving Everton from relegation then saving a bus load of Pink fans from death. What a man.

Barella and Mad Dog seen leaving the Strawberry this evening. Mad dog is confident he is going to sign and was telling him all about Willockinho and former club legends such as Perchino. Maddison has admitted that he is scared of Mad Dog and likely won't sign. Heard it here first lads!

Sorry mate, just seen this now. Didn’t mean to upset you, I apologise.

THEN WHY DID THEY GET OUR FUCKING HOPES UP?!??!?!?!?!?

i back gemmill. the one thing he's good at is starting match threads just don't mention predictions

I see the usual suspects are out defending him.

What he meant to say was 'I couldn't have broken this record if Southgate had dropped me for no mark friendlies against Dentists and Farmers to test out other strikers. Cheers Gareth'

Neither is that kid's tache.

Some of us were visionaries, clearly

We should bid £25 million for Kane if that’s how Levy is operating

We should make an offer of £60m plus Isaac Hayden

Levy is a fucking pisstaker.

as well as having to listen to pink.

Apparently it was the cost of dribble bibs that put Ten Nonce off.

Looks like the bus driver must have been overcome by fumes from the dead marshes on the way to Mordor. Hope he recovers!

Paging Dr. @Monkeys Fist

I put my Les Paul through the walls of Jack white’s venue. jokes I didn’t actually do anything bizarrely, but we played a perfect show and I had one of the best nights of my life. I upset the other members of my band cause i was paralytic after the show, they were worried about the optics. So it came to a head…and ultimately I had to do some digging and realise I’m in the wrong. We’ve got about 30 more gigs this year…and they’ll all be free bars…am I gonna get mortal every time? I can’t just have one. So I best have none,

Atlético de Madrid is for sale and sooner rather than later the (illegitimate) owners will sell the club. I don't know if it will be very close that day, but the club is on sale. Morata's release clause is €10M Carrasco's release clause is €18M Griezmann's release clause is €25M

Still not as bad as Martin Tyler presenting Sergio Aguero as he left Man City his notes from the game they won the title and he went 'Agueeeeeeerrrrrroooo' or whatever as if it's in all time legendary status. The smugness on Tyler's face as he's handing it over and the bemusement on the Argentinian's is telling.

Nice to hear this is how the market is starting to perceive the club, and how we are operating.

mate, it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and has happened to everyone at one point or another. don't believe anyone who says otherwise.

They look thrilled with that pat on the head.

Clutching at straws like your SunderIreland tbh, ewerk.

Kane's dad is from Galway as well. Can you imagine Kane, Grealish, Bellingham, and Rice playing alongside Hendrick 😂 Mind you that lot along with Ferguson would make a very decent, to put it mildly, half a team at least.

Tbf, I could see Inter accepting the bid, or close to it, fairly quickly since they’re skint. The real job will be convincing him to come and keeping others off the scent now that it’s leaked

We only got beat by four teams last season and we play three of the cunts in our first three games

The former makes stuff up, the latter is fed what the club wants him to put into the public domain. That would be my guess anyway

We're all waiting on the inside scoop from our Italian football correspondent. C'mon, what's the news @PaddockLad

I didn’t know the Knight Ryder’s dad had a side-piece in Glasgow…

It’s clearly smoke and mirrors from nufc, feeding this to edwards while we are in Paris sealing the Mbappe deal.

I agree with Diego

This made me LOL tbf

Just post as Yates Wine Lodge for instant striker status. 👍

The world has gone mad.

Thats fair. Makes sense about the optics. All round a wise decision whatever the reason too. Was only joking with the "fuck, what have you done?". Parroting my neighbours shite patter that last time I got home carrying flowers.

In other news, proven pathological liar lies to his own supporters.

I used to be an proper beer monster. Realised one day what an absolute shit show it is, and, whilst I still enjoy a drink, it’s very much in the sensible bracket now. Proper Two Pint Percy. Don’t miss it, at all.

I didn't really think it was because you were ordering that type of gear or I wouldn't have made the Pele quip but it's absolutely fuck all to worry about to be honest, at least it's in use!!

Balls like a Chinese mouse too.

Sounds like we are interested, but a long way off a fee or personal terms being agreed (if he even wants to come) Still, give me these links over McTominay any day!

He could have at least got him the new one 😂