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19 years ago, Shola Ameobi and Alan Shearer were sitting on Newcastle United’s bench. They now have 303 Premier League goals between them, three golden boots, a Premier League title, an Intertoto Cup and 63 England caps

There are no guarantees of incremental progress though. All 20 teams in the league want a better squad and a better league finish than the year before. But it's just as easy to pull a Chelsea or a Leicester. We are one of two teams outside the big 6 to make the champions league in the past 18 years. We need to grasp the opportunity with both hands. If we waited another 2-3 years it then becomes harder to hold onto Bruno, Botman, Isak etc

Well they find the idea of toilets offensive anyway so it’s inevitable the notion of a Geordie one will tip them over the edge.

Absolutely, 100% this. Not all of them, some of them have critical thinking skills that are up to the task, but clearly not enough of them. I always think of my Mum on this front as I think I've said before. She voted remain I'll stress, but she happens to also believe that there is a New World Order forming under the banner of the Catholic church where a single world religion will be imposed on us. And that aliens are already amongst us because Roosevelt's granddaughter says so, and she must be right because she's related to a former president and has a website and everything. They just weren't equipped for the realities of the modern world. I swear my Mum is actually a fairly intelligent person aside from the absolute lunacy of those views btw

Lord forbid people enjoy themselves wait till they see this….

Keepers aren’t allowed a cunt hair off the line anymore by the rules. Which if you have played in goal is fucking stupid, you have to move forward to dive left and right otherwise you get no distance. Decision made by people who never played, again.

And, given how the money is weighted to historical participation in it, the sooner the better.

Subtitle update

That's a classic fopism that is. 👍

The wife ended up in hospital after a car accident. I got a call from the doctor in a&e who told me she was critical. I said aye, that sounds like her

Strong vibes of

I've just been offered the position of triangle player in a reggae orchestra. It's quite simple really, you just stand at the back and ting.

From everything we've seen he seems like a pretty stoic, quiet guy, so it's nice to see him expressing himself in regard to the pride he feels for the teams achievements last season, and the togetherness of the squad and coaching staff.

3, Pardew, 2, 1, 4 imo

FYP

I’ve recently started selling my religious sculptures. Yet to make a prophet.

You're right, the penny is in mid flight now, pretty near bouncing off the floor. But a defining instinct of the gammon is to blame someone else, anyone else, but themselves. A poorly educated, entitled generation coming into contact with social media for the first time and still heavily influenced by legacy press owned by oligarchs, have fucked over our children's lives completely. Patten is right in that excerpt and things look incredibly bleak currently. And until the country and its leadership (looking at you Starmer) can admit where we have gone wrong and tell the truth of where we are, things will not get much better.

Mackem fewm about the forthcoming Sam Fender concerts is starting. Over 100 posts of fewm after the thread started this morning, still with a week to go. Will it make a thousand posts by then? This MLF is getting upset about a picture intended for a toilet wall.

It was a big ask for anyone to come in with 4 games to go, but surely an impossible task for a manager whose style is diametrically opposed to the available players? Leeds' owners shouldn't have let Bielsa go, and sure as shit shouldn't have appointed someone like Allardyce. Should have just given it to a Leeds legend until the end of the season, like Michael Brown or El Hadji Diouf

I'm pretty sure he was from Seaton Delaval, just like the fish which, when you look at their writing styles and content, starts to make a bit of sense. (Obviously the knight, unlike the fish, knows what the punters want so makes his posts a bit easier to read and throws the odd NUFC chant in his pieces).

It's more than a little bit annoying that the biggest clubs take their share of the spoils and then pat the newcomers on the head patronisingly and throw them whatever is left. Just like FFP it makes it harder for emerging or reemerging teams to begin to compete with those already at the top. You're in the same competition, but you've got reduced resources available to you, so before a ball is kicked you're comparatively disadvantaged.

I thought he was alright. Mourinho should be looking at the behaviour of his players before he looks at the ref, they made it a really difficult game to ref with the usual antics. The big issue is probably that he ordered the deciding penalty in the shootout (which Sevilla had missed) be retaken for encroachment. Which is pretty unusual and then when that kick wins the trophy I can see how that sets people off. He had also booked a bunch of people on the Roma bench by this stage. But again it's because people around Mourinho feel empowered to act without discipline cos he's such a cunt himself.

Was he shit in the final? Not saying he should have this done to him like. People will all shout it's Jose that's done this. But look at the actions of Klopp & Playmobil heed week in week out. They get fuck all punishment.

I've been supporting for seven decades and this might well be the best season I've experienced. I wouldn't swap it for anything

The other night I thought I’d discovered a fetish for taste, touch, smell, sight and sound. Then I came to my senses.

So, this shit limbo dancer walked in to a bar…

'Doctor Doctor, I need some sleeping pills for my mother in law.' Doctor.. 'oh dear, has she got insomnia?'' 'No, she's just woken up.'

Please, can we have a week off this topic? Gemmill is a broken man.

'Ah Senor Bisto, we have your regular glass ready for you'

Big Sam leaves Leeds with a proud record of P4 W0 D1 L3.

Ian Ward makes Mike Atherton sound dynamically interesting 🙂

I'm just surprised it wasn't Gloomy posting 🙂

I do not know from where you get the fucking nerve to question my aridity.

-Stares Seaton Sluicerly-

He comes across as a pissed up parody of his former self these days. I know those comments about Spurs / Levy were funny (because it’s Spurs), but he only said it because he was a failure there. It’s always someone else’s fault

And that's one of the reasons that good English players don't test themselves overseas when they should. That and the fact that a second language is difficult when you can't even speak your first language, of course.

I’m team sausage for the cricket. In baz we trust

Cole Duck Lip Veron They were only spending the Mark Hughes & Ray Wilkins money though.

When tha gets to buy one, get one free!

Wanker

Interesting email this morning (I don’t btw)

aye carumba!!!