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noticed this thread about an hour ago and went away to rehearse me gwyneth paltrow like acceptance speech, only to return just now and find I didn't actually win. as far as those who voted for toontastic's very own nostradamus go.... I can only assume you did so in some kind of perverse desire to see @Gemmill die by his own sword than us qualify for the CL, which to be honest I can sort of understand.

It's OK. We've got 66 points, we've already qualified

If there was a swear box in my house yesterday I'd now be bankrupt. OJ Simpson didn't get away with as much murder as their players and who could blame them when they had the footballing equivalent of diplomatic immunity from the ref who went out of his way pre-game to pat their players on the back and shake hands in the tunnel. You just knew watching that we going to get one of those ref performances. If he'd been a bit more on it I think we win that game, saying all that by the time we were winning we've only ourselves to blame plus a bit of bad luck with the flukey equaliser. I was a wreck by the end and that was sober as a judge. Can't be doing with this stress, like. Fortress SJP again on Thursday, please. The good news for everybody is I'm at work.

Toontastic posters can’t lose on Thursday

seven games unbeaten and and a faultless run to our first wembley final in over 2 decades, before falling victim to a dastardly, underhand coup. consider that while you bask in your unwarranted glory.

Democracy also gave us Brexit and 13 years of Tory rule. It can’t always be trusted.

Mackems call us deluded. Diallo, their best player, isnt there's to swap. Roberts is 26 and I don't think has ever played in the top tier. He's scored 6 career goals in the championship. Willock has played 77 games for us (mainly league games I assume) and scored 13 top tier goals. He's 23. Wilson and "Loch Ness Drogba" Wilson has scored 15 goals in the Premier league this season. Stewart has scored 10 career goals in the second tier.

I think Trippier’s set pieces have been poor for a while now. Since the World Cup maybe? But we don’t really have anyone else in terms of reliable delivery from free kicks and corners. I know there are lots of factors in terms of what makes a team effective but if you think back to Robson’s team when having Robert and Solano meant good deliver from either side it made a big difference. I wonder if that’s why we keep getting linked with Ward-Prowse. It’s definitely something we need to address.

I agree with first point but we need the knight in shining armour...Sir Sean of LongstaffShire to play and Big Joel on the left. Suffocate them with the press then throw on ASM or Isak/Wilson if need them.

This is patent nonsense though. We were better all over the pitch than Leeds, who booted us off the pitch ending up with 10 men. Twice their possession. Twice thwir shots. Their equaliser was a fluke. Take away that, we would have won by the same margin that Man City did last week except we were playing at Elland Road. Villa was much, much worse and we bounced back from that in style. We'll see what happens but personally I'm confident.

Already with the Trumpian excuses. Please get back to the unfounded confidence

DO. YOU. GET. ME. FAM.

One vote, it's all I wanted

Talking of which, I wish Bruno would get his hair back to the natural blond colour. He's been shit since he dyed it brown.

Are things that are yet to come invariably defined by things that have gone before? I mean, I'm not expecting you to be an expert on Bayesian probability like myself, but I do expect a bit more from you, Mr Spreadsheet man.

Are Everton mathematically safe? Has any team 5th or below exceeded 66 points? Sounds like it might be shut the fuck up o'clock for you.

Beware the ref and VAR, CL places going to last day would be "box office" for them.

We really have to sort out our corners and free kicks btw, the fucking amount of them we had that game and we didn’t even threaten from any of them. At this point we’d be better off treating them like a throw in and just restarting the game rather than having everyone go up into the box, it’s mental how ineffective they are for us given the size of our side.

We need to forget about the Isak and Wilson experiment for this one and go back to just starting one of them. And the King Allan Saint Maximin, our most creative player needs to start.

@Meenzer why hasn’t this esteemed forum been informed of this blatant subterfuge regarding this issue?

To be expected tbh- they grew up within a seagull jizz shot of each other.

Yeah it was poor but not anything near as bad as Villa that performance me thinks. We're managing injuries with a limited squad, losing someone like Longstaff has had a significant impact. Plus the players must be running on fumes with the way we've played the whole season. It seems to have taken a toll on Bruno and Joe especially. Not a great performance but a decent result to a team away fighting for their lives. We just need a massive push now for the last 2 home games. Players needs to find that last ounce of energy and fight from somewhere and get over the finish line. It has been a near miraculous season, we've been top 4 for most of it, which is why losing it now would hurt but it's a fantastic effort from everyone at the club nonetheless.

Suddenly he’s scared of the competition.

I had to take the car to the jet wash in the end. Just then one of the fuckers has deposited the biggest bird turd smack bang on my windscreen. I fucking hate these feathered cunts.

First match thread we've ever had with a paedophile ring operating in it. Unclear what effect this will have.

you said the exact same thing for Aston Villa. Abort this thread. ABORT THIS THREAD

On a similar note Wednesday fans were singing your not fit to wear their shirt at their team after they got howked by Peterborough in the first leg of the Div1 play offs. That's Sheff Wed who got 96 points and scored 81 goals this season

Get in! All the entitled Arsenal fans leaving the stadium as well. Absolute sums those cunts up

on the off chance they get promoted it's reasonable to suggest anything less than premier league runners up next season is gonna be a massive disappointment to the average mackem.

Chelsea women just won FA Cup. One of their players not playing and is on crutches came out for the trophy in full kit John Terry hanging out the back too

He was fucking shocking, man. I dare say he'd have been just as generous with us if we were fouling left, right and centre but that wasn't our game was it?

same My boy gave up and went to his room to play Nintendo after I kept pacing around the living room shouting at the tv and throwing the occasional cushion to the floor in frustration

I was gonna opt for you mate but looked at the poll first and then couldn't vote at all. console yourself with this though.... better zero than to stoop so low as to vote for yourself and bribe 11 of the electorate.

While that is canny funny the amount of stick he got for that sums this country up. Certainly large swathes of the media and the dopey cunts that lap up that sort of thing. Cameron got less coverage for sticking his cock in a dead pig’s head

And I want a blowjob!

If there was ever a need for a confession an apology… Rayyinn doing it in the name of Gemmill won’t count obvious.

Sweden now equalling Ireland's record. Meanwhile at @ewerk's house.

I still can't believe we needed two penalties and a saved penalty just to get a draw against Leeds. That's our worst performance of the season for me, marginally worse than Villa, which was our worst performance to that point. Away from home we're looking clueless and tired, and I think it's the pressure which seems to be getting to us finally as the possibility of a CL spot has become all too real for some of our players. I wouldn't be surprised if Liverpool end on 71 points. With the officials behaving the way they do I actually fully expect Liverpool to win their remaining fixtures. And I expect ManU to win theirs for similar reasons. Add to that that I don't like our chances going to Chelsea last day needing a result. Not with everything on the line with a team that is showing signs of struggling under the pressure of everything. Our players have been brilliant this year and since Howe took charge really. But the pressure is now at its greatest and the signs are there that they're wilting under the pressure. (Plus, we'll likely get a refereeing performance like we got today away at Chelsea.) I don't put my absolute faith in the stock of the percentage predictor here either. It doesn't consider pressure and experience, does it? We have a manager who is new to this end of the table and a squad that is likewise with very few exceptions. Then there's VAR and the refs to contend with which the percentage predictor also doesn't consider. It also doesn't consider the "consequences" of Liverpool missing CL football. The fact that Klopp can explicitly call the ref a cheat in a game that they won and do so with complete impunity is proof positive that Liverpool demand and receive special treatment. There's a strong possibility that the next two games decide the CL spot. Call me bed-wetter if you must. I'm obviously not saying that missing CL is a disaster. To finish 5th would still an amazing season. But 4th puts us so far ahead of schedule in terms of FPP restrictions and possibilities to attract a tier of player that previously we've only got under special circumstances. A CL spot is the biggest moment since the takeover if it happens. Anyway, I'm properly in a mood this morning. That performance was terrible against the newly anointed worst team in the division. For me, it doesn't bode well. We need 6 points for CL and I think we need them in the next two matches.

I had the misfortune of having to stream this arseholes coverage for a while and he was on about it the whole time. It clearly touched his hand. They need to bloody fix a lot of the ridiculous rules these days but there was nothing complicated about this one.