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Not all Sunderland fans racially abuse players’ mothers. Not all of them go on the drink with only a couple of advent calendar chocolates to line their stomachs and proceed to have a shite on their seat, not all of them have their annual bath / shit outside in the fountains at Trafalgar Square, not all of them carry cheese slices for their half time burger. However thousands hero -worshipped a nonce and would probably take him back in the blink of an eye if they though he could still do a job* for them 👍🏻 *I mean literally, not just defecating outdoors

Of course it was a rogue Black Op special forces Mag. I mean, what else could it be?

Did they invite the other Thundercats to the wedding?

Local history buff Dan Jackson plainly a lurker on here

i was on about the blue tick wanker who tweeted it

the alleged official story

Nine hours after posting and 12 likes.

I don’t know about you but I’m already excited at the prospect of signing all these players I’ve never heard of

How dare you besmirch the honour of Cheetara by putting this menopausal wine bag in the same bracket 😐😤

I know her, she's married to one of my mates. She's fucking bimboed her way into a career and she hates Newcastle down to me and cousin constantly taking the piss

Thank fuck he didn't learn from reading Renton's version of mackems.

Can't see Southampton getting out of it so only one of the two you mention can go down, Everton are nailed on so someone assured us (unless they were WRONG !!!!).

Fingers crossed that Forest stay up then.

Maddison is a touch of class imo. I think he works hard enough and would do well in one of the wide attacking roles with runners we have in midfield. I also think we’ll need more flexibility going forward. Howe’s pretty much played the same system (just with changes in personnel at times) all season. Even when we played Sheff Wed away in the cup and made a few changes it was still using the tried and tested 4-3-3. I think recently the over reliance on Bruno (and Longstaff) means we’ll look to sign another ‘number 6’. Apart from allowing some rotation it means we’d be able to play 4-2-3-1 and Maddison would be great in that system, especially as a 10. Tl:dr - sign him and get Declan Rice while you’re at it

They’re absolutely insane Nee chance it was a pissed up charva, has to been a special agent deployed by the shady cabal of Tyneside businessmen.

So after reading that thoroughly well researched paper with absolutely no sources or quotes my main takeaway is that someone was desperate enough to play in Sunderland colours that they sent a ship from Spain to Sunderland with the sole purpose of bringing back some football shirts?

They do realise that ships aren't crewed exclusive by people from the place where they’re built, don’t they?

The record label

That's like me saying I have ruled out having sex with Scarlett Johansson*. I haven't really Scarlett pet, if you're reading this.

He’s doing some work experience

I’ve chatted to her briefly once. She was on with Rafa and Caulkin at a talk in at the Tyneside Cinema sponsored by The Times. Also there was a show that ran briefly on Channel 4 which was kind of their version of The Sunday Supplement. She was on once and there was a scouser who worked as a tipster for one of the red tops who was a regular on there. He had to explain to her that betting on the result of a football match was a three horse race and not (as she thought) a two horse race. Even after spelling it out I wasn’t convinced she’d understood.

Has to be a mag that travelled to Preston because their fans don’t have form for embarrassing themselves and the club

Of course.

Why couldn't BT have just put their usual serie a commentators, presenters and pundits on instead of the fucking tedious PL/CL ear pollution arseholes like Fletcher, McManaman, Ferdinand etc? It got so bad halfway through I couldn't even get angry anymore and just softly said 'stop talking' in the general direction of the TV. Sad.

The cunts probably stowaway before the launch to get shipped out of the place

there's a misspelling in there, the team was actually Barmy-stoned Rangers as established by exhaustive research conducted over about 5 seconds in my head

The poor, poor, sad bastards.

“When you instructed Northumbrian Water to put LSD in their water supply, what were the amounts you requested?” ” Fuck them up for generations.” ” Fair do. Carry on. “

As I've said before I'm probably more excited for Ashworth finding a hidden gem comparable to Mitoma, Mac Allister etc at Brighton than I am about us paying 40m+ on a player. Although if you listen to some Brighton fans they'll tell you that Ashworth had little to do with them bringing said players in, and it was down to the recommendations of their scouting network/head scout. I'd imagine that's mostly sour grapes and the truth lies somewhere in the middle. At the end of the day it was Ashworth who created said scouting network and who had to sign off on said recommendations.

Classic Edwards. We’re making a move but we might not and there’s other players on the list but they might not be

They'll stay up. Leicester and Leeds to go down, I reckon. Brighton are officially enemies of Football.

Prove his doubters wrong. Mofo has had more chances than Boris!

We’d ripped their hands off if anyone offered that tbh. You only need a modicum of objectivity to view his constantly picking up injuries as a major concern.

forgive me. i'd like nothing more than for ASM to stay and prove his doubters wrong. for me it's less about his ability to adapt his game to fit howe's system (he has shown promising signs in this regard) and more to do with the fact that he's always injured. plus we do need to think about FFP and we might get £30-40m for him

I like how he seems to be suggesting that the apparently nonsensical ‘Reubens square….’ graffiti is some sort of coded message from the hand of an agent provocateur. Rather than it being someone so pissed they think writing on a war memorial with a marker is a good idea. Not that being pissed is much of an excuse

No way are we setting up like a Steve Bruce side at home. We will try to match them by pressing high as usual, which may play into their hands if we’re not 100% on it, making this by far the trickiest remaining fixture - even at home. We shouldn’t be fooled by the Everton result - Brighton are very good

Lots for us to think about here. Can't really see us doing anything other than playing our usual game and backing ourselves, unless Howe has something up his sleeve.

If there's still this much mystery around his foot a few weeks from when he last played it doesn't bode well for seeing him again this season. That said, Eddie is notoriously tight lipped regarding injury durations.

Aye, it’s the dark arts and having a big game mentality rather than a dirty Madrid side being allowed to get away with it by a weak ref

He does know he doesn’t always have to dress in toon clobber?

That list so fucking what? The idea that’s some heinous list of crimes against football. That’s fairly standard stuff in sport at the highest level. At least it is when teams are competent and professional. And that’s not a lot of incidents over a season anyway. If you can call them incidents. But aye, it’s a definite sign teams are rattled like. Imagine having the temerity to potentially get top 4 this soon? Because the alternative to a new kid on the block like us is probably Man City winning about 80% of domestic trophies for the foreseeable.

Right, will you lot fuck off with the seagull quips and memes? Seagulls are loving, sentient creatures who do not appreciate this piss taking. *** Say it quietly because they're listening *** This was my car this morning thanks to them taking umbrage with you all. Fucking feathered cunts.

It's a bit sad really, getting a tattoo of a 5% owner of your football club in a bid to try and stay a bit of a minor local celebrity, obviously the likes of the Ronny Gill and BBC Newcastle have sadness and desperation ingrained into their institutions so no surprise they've put him on as it's another days content sorted early doors before trying to forget they've another day just around the corner to try and get some 'news', any shit, to keep themselves in a job.