Leaderboard

Bit of a gamble

Good luck to Jamal Lewis in the CL semi final tonight.

Well, well, well. Plenty of time to play with your xG spreadsheets and deliver your inane patter on podcasts to your target audience of probably 4; plenty of time to hang around the SMB and annoy them with your verbose and pompous truths; plenty of time to bore us with your life hacks; plenty of time to perfect your next English tapas; no doubt plenty of time for your wife and kid; but your time is too precious to LITERALLY drink from the font of wisdom that is the collective of this forum about NUFC!??? I tell you, I've defended you in the past Mr Fish, but no more, this is not defendible.

Football isn't played on a spreadsheet, son.

We went to psv the first time in 97 without tickets as the club went official trip only after we'd booked flights. Two of us managed to get tickets in the nufc end and me and a mate got tickets in the uefa "lounge" by accident which was nice. Anyway we were talking to two lads who like us didn't have tickets and they got theirs right in their end behind the goal so one of them bought a psv away strip to wear as he couldn't face buying a red and white home one. As soon as they walked in the fans around them said "you must be English" - they weren't hassled at all but asked how they were spotted thinking they'd given themselves away - "Nobody wears the away strip for home games" was the reply.

"Vodka calling Coke. Vodka calling Coke. Come in Coke." "This is Coke calling Vodka. Did you get the ticket? Over." "Vodka calling Coke. Affirmative. Got it outside the Labour Club. Over." "Did you see any good families? Over." "I saw loads of them. It was the family enclosure. Over " "Get out of there, Coke. It's too dangerous. That is an order. Over" "Not a chance. Over and out."

Right, will you lot fuck off with the seagull quips and memes? Seagulls are loving, sentient creatures who do not appreciate this piss taking. *** Say it quietly because they're listening *** This was my car this morning thanks to them taking umbrage with you all. Fucking feathered cunts.

Haven't read the thread but; We played well, just one of those games of fine margins. Hit the woodwork a couple of times, Ramsdale played well. Unlucky with the own goal. We missed Longstaff for his combination with Bruno and his defensive work. Bruno looks like he's carrying a knock Play like that for the rest of the season and we could go unbeaten. Still think CL is ours. It's nice to be in a position where we have to play below par and good teams have to play well to beat us.

xS’ed yp

I think the only home end I've been in was Spurs away when we destroyed them 4-1 with Martins and Owen etc. I celebrated the fourth as there were barely any fans left...then walked out White hart lane with pretend carpets under my arms and my massive nuts dragging on the floor.

3-1 to us. i'm going foot-long frankfurter for this one because i'm the ice man lose however, and i might turn to jelly

Whats the Xs too. Thats the key stat. Expected Sausage.

Fresh as paint mate… always said you can’t beat a power nap

I reckon someone could track you down based on locating the swirling cloud of enraged seagulls tbh.

Forget the birdshit, I'd be more concerned with the fact that you appear to have driven it through a wall.

There’ll be a large number of them not allowed to use t’interweb as part of their parole conditions. Or join the RSPB.

From the thread:

It's a bit sad really, getting a tattoo of a 5% owner of your football club in a bid to try and stay a bit of a minor local celebrity, obviously the likes of the Ronny Gill and BBC Newcastle have sadness and desperation ingrained into their institutions so no surprise they've put him on as it's another days content sorted early doors before trying to forget they've another day just around the corner to try and get some 'news', any shit, to keep themselves in a job.

I saw him walking through Wallsend in one of those ridiculous long sports coats like a dyspraxic Wenger. It must be all he owns

I’m swapping the sand for broken glass

A Premier League winner’s medal?

Front of that LP is the greatest run of pop singles ever released

Please fucking stop the sausage memes until normality is restored lads, we way oversausaged ourselves when faced with the Arse close up. Like the reality of the pressure a genuine offer of a threesome would bring, mine's gone droopy.

Oh!

Runaway victory.

The bloke is obviously not from a good family

the sausage is strong in this one

Aye, it’s the dark arts and having a big game mentality rather than a dirty Madrid side being allowed to get away with it by a weak ref

Dana is looking fucking great nowadays. And I am reaching MF levels of mid life crisis pervosity.

I guess that answers where he got the ticket

He will be ok if he is from a nice family. I do have to say that it does my head in with people getting mad about single supporters being in the wrong end though. I have done it several times because it is the only way to get a ticket. It doesn’t do any real harm and normally involves a huge amount of effort to get those few tickets. I could understand people getting pissed off by a large section of a stand getting taken over, but single fans exposing themselves to a torrid of abuse? Fuck off, it’s rather showing some dedication than causing harm or taking tickets off “real” fans. It is not the Arsenal supporter who should feel ashamed iyam

Do you want the mackems reading this to kidnap him or something? That’s their equivalent of the ark of the covenant

how did he get his ticket, was it is his own purchase or was it bought for him? if it was the latter the person who made the transaction for that seat number needs to be very concerned over the next few days about what sort of letter they get dropping through their door. shit loads of newcastle supporters turfed out of level 4 of the leazes for reacting to being bombarded with spit, coins and cups of piss off the man utd supporters. one season ticket holder I know has subsequently had a 3 year club ban, (currently going through appeal) his letter stated as he'd made the purchase he was responsible for the behaviour of the person ejected. last 2 aways I've been to, (forest and west ham) soon as I've got in I've stood wherever I've seen a bit of a gap rather than next to the allocated seat and tossed the ticket. I'd hate in the event of heavy handed stewarding, which it was at nottingham, to be even inadvertently responsible for getting a donor landed in the shit.

He does know he doesn’t always have to dress in toon clobber?

Fuck! Floored by the pedantic mispelling riposte.

Im sure that's accounted for in the stats based predictions.

Even if we turn up like we did against Arsenal I reckon we'll do them, no problem. We hit the woodwork twice and Ramsdale made several top notch saves (not even mentioning the last gasp defensive blocks they got in).

He can't.

I tell inanimate objects to fuck off. Regularly.

I have a McDonald's maybe once every 18 months, but when I do I'm using the drive thru. I'm not mixing with the likes of Renton inside of one of those hellholes.