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It'll all be moot come 18:30 Sunday when we rip Arsenal a #NEWARS

Tell that to Bet 365 after I rinsed them for £52 last Sunday

So you’re saying we’re due one?

Why does his sexuality matter?

Yes, but what about Brucey, eh. How is Brucey, did you say?

* sigh * In a way we’ve all lost

Well we weren't going to, but since you asked so nicely we'll see what we can do mate

I want him to go to Saudi Arabia. Only for the fact he’ll be paid much more than Ronaldo and that will truly fuck with his head.

silly season has officially started

Loving .com's mugshot of him

Liverpool v Brentford on Saturday. I bet the fucking FA bans Toney on Friday night.

Aye he had his bollocks in a Wheelbarrow this week. Antonio was listing off West Ham's remaining fixtures for the season and he gets to the end and Wilson pipes up "And then Plymouth in August"

Brighton have managed to sell Trossard, Bissouma, Ben White, Dan Burn and Cucurella for £200mil, get £22mil for Potter, and somehow end up a better team. They also bought: Mitoma for £3m Caicedo for £5m Macallister for £7mil Not sure how much involvement Dan Ashworth had in all of those, but that's an insane track record!

Not sure the mrs would be up for it, but I can ask.

"I was pissing by my seat"

Look, I struggle with the mackem accent, having not been brought up in their vicinity like you.

this is the Allo Allo policeman equivalent of mackem talk.

Hey man, a can prurve weeyaz invented turtal football man, not Holland like. Seeyah that Aye Acks clerb man, thems knicked it from wors in the 70s, along with the red n white strip they weraz like, that was ours n'arl. Lik Bilbao marra, urnly bigger stripes likke. Anyway, wat de ye get if yurs mix red and white payaint marra? Aye, orange, like the dutch wears marra. Wat, it maykes pink? They stole that n'arl from wus seayats marra. FTM.

i don’t believe this but I’m actually visiting Paisley Park on Monday and am now ready for the Q&A session.

*some claim (the Bilbao black cats perhaps)

they stole at least three points off us for starters

If you zoom in top left you can see @RobinRobin’s gif factory.

Add in the aspect of working with Robbie Keane.

So are we now saying we need more than 66 points? That’s a question directly to you, the so called power-bi Accountant by the way.

A little look at a couple of their forums suggests they aren't all that confident coming into this one. Main gripes seem to be central defence looking a but threadbare and that without Partey their midfield would be Xhaka, Odegaard and Jorginho and our midfield three would be so much faster and stronger that they'll just get overrun. I like both of those things.

You’re a middle aged man who plays with pinball machines. I don’t think anyone doubts that you’re being serious.

Excellent result for us that, Brighton are a quality side but up front just haven't got enough quality to merit the rest of their outstanding play. They dominated us and couldn't score, they got a lucky pen at the death tonight to win, lucky as in it was a needless thing to do by Shaw, I think we'll have a tough game when they come up here but if they play in the final third like that we should get a draw at worst. As for Man U, keep our heads and we should be looking to finish ahead of them. Tough game on Sunday then kick on from there.

He lost me at how many of Shearer's goals were memorable?

Me: Summarise this excel essay ChatGPT: It's generally true that every team would likely perform worse without their top scorer, as they contribute significantly to the team's scoring ability.

Yep, for those who haven't voted yet, remember your photo ID which may consist of: A blue passport An OAP bus pass A copy of the Daily Mail

Love this

I see what you did there.

I didn't see the fairness in the Gaye vs Thicke/Williams suit over blurred lines either. It seemed like the Gaye estate was claiming copyright over the vibe of Gaye’s original as they didnt sound that similar to my layman’s ears. It must be tough to come up with something truly original these days, when there are only 8 notes to choose from and decades of predecessors….and soul destroying to get sued by a deceased artist.

Mind, if you'd said three or four years ago that the football world would be treating "Messi to be managed by Eddie Howe" as a plausible idea...

Status Quo will make a mint from suing Status Quo over their entire back catalogue.

If he was talking about the buffet line Surpised that he's slimmed down in his time off.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CrlPH8-q9tw/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

And so the backtrack begins. Welcome to Pampers

Anyone need a solicitor?

Imagine that. Chelsea and Everton go down and he's the first manager to send two clubs down in one season

Explains why our six-fingered friends love him, they’re kindred spirits when it comes to being delewded.