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Me and Eddie would be great mates. Start the day at 6am at the training ground, some weights followed by shirtless volleyball, then straight to the laptop for some data analysis. Shirts would remain off.

Not been around much. My mental health has deteriorated rapidly over the past 10 weeks in both frequency and magnitude. On Monday I contacted the Samaritans for emergency help as I considered the safety of those around me, and myself, to be at risk. I am in the process of seeking urgent professional counselling. Without going into specific details as I am aware this place is open to public viewing and therefore not what I'd consider a 'safe' environment, I was subjected to mental, phyiscal and sexual abuse as a child. This is something I've suppressed for over 30 years but is now manifesting in me being unable to contain my emotions and causes severe meltdowns and rage. Alcohol is not a trigger but it is most certainly an accelerant and I've chosen to abstain from it whilst I go through my healing process. What I wish for is to be at peace and, possibly weirdly, to be able to forgive the person that did this to me. The magnitude is so great that forgetting is just not possible so I feel forgiveness will be be my saviour.

After these last two games, I’ll settle for a nice 2-0. The football equivalent of functional missionary sex after a weekend of wild experimentation

Clarko, you prick

Eddie reckons you’re a loser.

Thought it was loan with them buying him being compulsory. But if they want shot after his dream move to his boyhood club. After less than a season and after they way he fucked us about, I just don’t get the appeal. But what the fuck do I know? If Howe and Ashworth want him I’ll trust them 100%. Btw, riding electric scooters at speed down the Southbank, whilst listening to grime and jungle from a boombox seems to be a thing now. What I want to know is - why didn’t you say hello?

If you consider Gazza & Beardsley to be the best players you’ve seen for NUFC then Isak is also in that bracket after the last month. If he stays 2/3 seasons he’s probably going to be the greatest player in the club’s history

Who's that lass on CT's right?

Comfortable 4-0, Isak hat-trick

"I'd dribble like that myself if I fancied playing wide, but I don't"

7 fucken nil.

And then Isak turning up late on and unceremoniously dumping his bollocks into their gob. Naughty.

Well done for being self aware and it's good you are getting help. Post if it helps, don't if it doesn't but nothing but support from here

That's incredible, and then topped off by the look on Murphy's face like he's just nicked a bag of lollies from the school canteen.

Can’t see nothing but a defeat. Soz.

wykiki accepting help across the road from some strangers.

Shola spent 14 years with us too

I loved him as a kid before he even signed for us. Showing me age I desperately wanted Southampton to win the league that year they led it for so long. Also, I remember being down south on the way to visit relatives when it came on the radio he’d signed for us. My dad had to pull the car over for a few minutes

That Portsmouth footage btw. A reminder of the class of KK. Not just as a player but his character. You’ve got a bloke who’s won just about everything there is to win, twice winner of the Ballon D’Or. At the twilight of his career and there he is, playing in the second division and doing the dirty work, against centre-halves who could go right through the back of you. And he was doing that so young forwards like Beardsley and Waddle could thrive off the back of it.

This is awful. Sincerely hope things improve for you soon mate.

Just to echo what others have said. Post/reach out if it helps, don't if it doesn't, we all understand either way. Personally it helped me loads last year duuring my darkest hours, which if I'm honest feel like a bad dream now to an extent. SInce then I've managed to turn things round, even got promoted at work, found myself in the position I can start living without dread and my depression has largely lifted. Anxiety, not so much, but I'm working on it. Your posts specifically helped me last year Craig, I hope you know I appreciate it. I hope you can access the help you need. You can and will get through this.

Sorry to hear of your troubles Craig. Stick around on here if it helps at all, but if you need to be away from here, we all hope you're OK and you're getting the help you need.

The black lad on that one, I think it might be the first time he's seen a football match. He seems absolutely bewildered by everything.

I am fucking crying at the second one. You utter utter CUNT

I find these things a bit weird but it's worth it just for an appearance from Wykiki on the second clip. Turn if off before the third clip though cos that one is BRUTAL.

Very Shanesque v Stoke

When I saw it in real time I assumed there was some luck and some bundling of the ball off their defenders involved. On replay, it was the opposite. Clinical, clean, and a bloke in total control of the situation - proper "how the fuck can you do that at such pace in an actual real match you freak" stuff. £63m might start looking like a steal if he keeps anything like these levels.

Fuck allegations, I want shenanigans. Anyway, the story seems to have been deleted?

And where it was not very long ago

What really makes the hairs stand up on the back of my neck and makes me emotional, is the lads & coaching stuff at the end of away games going to the away supporters. The connection now between fans and the club is special.

Result. I've been having a long-term dispute with EDF, who fitted a smart meter which never worked and have been billing us based on pure guesswork ever since. Part of the deal with the ombudsman is that they will have to fit a working meter, and our bill will be backdated (3 years) use according to what we use from the next 3 months, starting in June. Sorry kids, I am going to switch the C/H off and live in darkness for 3 months this summer.

You have my total respect for this post and what you've expressed here. I'm sorry for what you went through - and indeed what you're still going through, but you're taking all the right steps here I think. Forgiveness is an understandable and laudable goal for precisely the reason you've set out - I think you're approaching this correctly and I wish you the very best in tackling it. You'll make it through this mate.

Sorry to hear Craig, I hope you all the best and hopefully the help comes quickly. Pop on here for bants if it's good for you lad.

Best wishes, Craig. I’ve always considered you to be a really sound lad with a wealth of knowledge about NUFC. For what little that’s worth. But I really hope you get through this. Like Gemmill says, use this place - if it helps.

Fuck Ekitike. Dicked us about and then PSG want shot two thirds of the way through his first season. We had a lucky escape there and I reckon that's what they'll think within the club too.

The way you lot absolutely gobble down the stats on here, I could probably live off the superchats. "Watch this graph lads......click refresh aaaaannnnnd...BOOM! Toonpack, thanks for the sub. PaddockLad, thanks for the superchat, it's people like you that keep this channel going."

Scandalous from Beardsley. Other worldly to be able to do that at all, but to be able to do it under pressure in an actual game. These people can just fuck right off as I sit down to a day of spreadsheeting.

I don't think I can pay a higher compliment than to say I can't remember Beardsley doing anything quite like that though he came close a few times.

Willock's look says "I wanna be like Isak when I grow up"* * Alex is a month younger than Joe

We telling them to lie back and think of England (and spitfires)?