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In response to the Wideopen Jeffrey Epstein.

🎶 If you like vodka with cola And wumming fans on the net If you have plenty tickets If you're more than half a get If you like making people angry On a forum online I'm the cunt that you don't like Almost all of the time I didn't think of the ones who missed out I know that sounds kinda mean But me and the toontastic wankers Had fallen into the same old dull routine So I went on the club's website Took nine tickets for me And although I think I'm quite decent From a good family Yes I like vodka and cola And wumming fans on the net I'm not much into subtle I am into 'fuck you' I've got to meet you by tomorrow We can meet at the front In Newcastle's labour club Where we'll plan being cunts. 🎵

"Look, the guys on toontastic gave me some shit about the labour club, so, so I made up a lot of stuff about getting nine tickets no bother because that's what I wanted but err, but it was all lies, err, everything. I kept saying I got nine tickets here, err, nine tickets there so I thought, err, yeah, sure, why not?"

We discussed it in the secret forum 👍🏻

can you drive a plane at 58mph?

Have you got your mate piloting it?

The point isn't the rules, it's that the rules don't apply to him.

aye, apart from @LongTimeAdmirer

Sherwood funnily enough is about the same age as Klopp and Guardiola and had the spurs job handed to him on a plate when he was the same age Eddie Howe is now. He's not particularly old, its not like hes a Hodgson or Allardyce coming out with this shite after his day has passed. Its all projection, he failed miserably as a manager precisely because he held these sorts of opinions and it just doesn't work in modern football and rather than admit that to himself or anyone else he gets a spot on talksport to trot it out.

It’s still marginally better than his assessments of players he has seen.

This is the bit everyone finds hardest to believe.

Scott McTominay (Out) - Newcastle interested + McTominay open to move due to concerns about playing time (Luke Edwards, Telegraph) | RedCafe.net consensus seems to be he's not good enough for where they should be aiming for. If that's the case for them, then it should be true for us too.

I haven't been to a game in years but managed to get four tickets for Spurs. Only need two so reckon I can get £150 each for the other two. Kerching! Anyone interested PM me.

What a gargantuan tragic fucking bell end Probably didn’t happen and even if it did the first thought is to gloat about it to fellow fans

Belfast Mike Ashley weighs in.

So that nails it. We should keep clear of him

She will be when she wakes up tomorrow, in her Tena Ladys and “I ❤️Boris” nightie, on the kitchen floor, reeking of gin and piss.

Don't tell him, Pike!

If he’d come here, played a lot of games and done well under Howe, he’d have had less chance of getting a start tonight

Something that I hope Ashworth is working on is the free agent market because there are really interesting players at zero cost. Obviously they will ask for a transfer bonus for them... But it is a market that can be very 'affordable' and the best thing is that the agreements can be closed right away. -Ndicka (CB/Frankfurt). He is one of the best centre-backs for the future. A player who, if he did not finish his contract, would leave his club for 30-35M. He is too young. He plays the ball very well... The 'problem' is that he's a left-footed center back, and we have Botman there as a great investment. Typical player that as soon as he signs a PSG or similar, he will be selected with France. -Tielemans (MC/Leicester). There is not much to say. We all know him. At his highest level he is a very good player. I think it would be good to have someone with his profile because he can play alongside Bruno, but also because he has characteristics to replace him when he's not around. -Thuram (Winger/GladBach): He is a physical beast and a versatile player above. He can play on both wings, but also as a center forward. I see him very well to complement the squad. Another similar option could be Bamba (Left Winger). -Grimaldo/Guerreiro/Bensebaini: Three very good options for the Left Side. I would be sorry to have to sit Burn out, but I think it's a very good position to strengthen with players other than Burn himself. These three that I mention have experience in Europe. Let's say that Grimaldo and Bensebaini are on the rise and still have some room for improvement (in fact, I think that Grimaldo could be a player who wants to try to sign Barcelona and that this will lead to the national team) and perhaps Guerreiro is already going a bit further. decline and its best years are over.. -Aouar (MC/OL) ¡: Bruno's partner in the Lyon midfield. They understood each other very well. The old dream of Arsenal, who has tried to sign him in recent years. What better than to steal a player from them again? There are players who might not get us up to the starting level of the team, but can serve as players number 16 or 17 on the roster. Doucouré, Soyuncu (if Lascelles leaves), Coufal (as a substitute for Trippier and better than Manquillo and Krafth),

Why did you have to start him off, Ewerk?

aye, spot on. i was 1,300th in the queue today, i bought two. i'm linked to another member and we're both going, so that's good! i think where UM is getting it wrong is by immediately coming on here after tickets have gone on sale and giving it the big one about having bought nine when quite clearly there's people missed out. bit fucking crass really don't you think? he's right, he's doing nowt wrong under the clubs current ticket policy, it allows him as a season ticket holder to buy another ticket for a friend, who may or not be a member. UM's opportunity to do this though is coming to an end, there's an active group of people who are bypassing the n.u.s.t. and lobbying the football supporters association (newcastle's rep there is thomas concannon, who recently jacked in his role on the board at the trust) as well as emailing sarah metcalfe who's head of supporter services at the club. i'm loathe to use the term 'big six' so i'll refer instead to clubs where tickets are in demand, not one of them offer a facility for a season ticket holder to buy another ticket for a friend. under the current climate it's fucking ludicrous, you reserve your own seat only. clearly there's folk who've forked out for a membership who are missing out on tickets to non members, that can't be right surely? doesn't happen at any other club which sells memberships. it suited ashley to fill empty seats with backdrops to advertising hoardings, hence the great 10,000 free season ticket giveaway, it's now defunct. if UM (or anybody else for that matter) wishes to buy tickets to sell on, they'll soon need to join the queues for general online sale. it's coming.

They do play in the same position, midfield, though maybe not the same role. Diego, glory to His name, has even mentioned that Veiga has played in a DM position before, so stick that in your Potatoe Pipe and Spud it. And my central point was that the fee for McTominay is likely to be much higher than it is for a more highly rated foreigner with perhaps a higher ceiling.

That’s the crux of it. It links to what he was saying about (and I’m paraphrasing) how hard everyone was working at no 10 and how they needed / deserved a social event. Not at all, they think they’re better and more important so they didn’t need to abide by the regulations. I would suggest a great deal of them could’ve been working from home for most of the time too. But they wouldn’t get to be self-important wankers if they weren’t making the unnecessary commute to Downing Street every day

Yeah ok mate, you’ve absolutely convinced me

what an absolute weapons grade, whopping thundercunt.

Nah, the Napoli Ultras will shite themselves once they see the Stone Island badge

lads, lads, lads. i think we all need to just cool off a bit. have a couple of vodka and diet cokes and chill

I find it fascinating to hear the Fish educating us on players HE'S NEVER FUCKING SEEN.

Aye, it’s an anachronism from the days of Ashley when he couldn’t sell all the tickets at times. I’m all for ST holders getting first dibs on cup tickets etc. That should absolutely be the case. But getting first dibs on tickets in addition to their own when members / general public can barely get one is clearly a situation which can’t continue

Imagine if NHS workers got together every Friday during the lockdown for well-deserved piss-up. You’d have to assume Johnson would be fine with it.

Except they don't play in the same position. You're comparing registas and trequartistas here (apples and oranges for the old folk).

Explains their fertile imaginations.

5 devices and all bar one over 10,000. As my turn came round on the one good placing (4000) I accidentally exited the queue. Daughter is silently fuming with me

Simon Jordan made a rare decent point yesterday. He said he thought that McTominay was very average but he also said that Eddie Howe, unlike other managers, actually improves players. So if we're in for him then Howe must have seen something he thinks he can work with and can use to make him a better player than he's currently showing.

Until we hear anything concrete from either club it's much ado about nothing, my only comment being what I've seen of him is I wouldn't be breaking the bank.

Ah c'mon. Can someone not just volunteer to be his friend?

Good old Tim Sherwood making some GREAT points here, the man really knows about his football, just look at his fantastic managerial record and interesting and insightful punditry! ...right?

It’s a bit of mouthful though. Needs a snappy abbreviation, like NPxGAT.