Leaderboard

back to willock though.... my mate's (the infamous match sneaker-inna) grandson finally got the shirt sent to him by willock framed at the weekend. lush.

Fat Malfoy 🤣

It’s only because there isn’t a flat cap to be seen on his Instagram

".....and so when I saw the Sainsbury's van I automatically thought it was someone I don't know personally but know from a football message board who went by the codename 'Monkeys fist'. He couldn't hear me shout so I started to move my hands very fast to get his attention when my pants all of a sudden fell down so I had the unenviable task of trying to pull them up whilst furiously still moving my hands in a quick motion which I now realise might have looked like a man masturbating at sexy looking man in uniform which absolutely wasn't the case."

Nah… 😉

You could just offer a tramp a fiver for his jumper for the same effect.

That's the company some of our esteemed Toontastic colleagues are keeping. I'm sure Steve Bruce would heartily agree.

Good old Tim Sherwood making some GREAT points here, the man really knows about his football, just look at his fantastic managerial record and interesting and insightful punditry! ...right?

This is marvellous.

I used to have a ridiculous amount of meetings in my previous job when we were collaborating on a project with BT. There was a fella worked for them and, fuck me, he could talk and talk absolute shite. He used to schedule meetings at our offices (which were near Gateshead stadium) instead of theirs, which were near the metro centre, on a Friday afternoon. The sole purpose was that it was easier to for him get home to Sunderland, theoretically getting a flyer to kick off the weekend. But he loved the sound of his own voice so much he couldn’t fucking help himself. He’d still be prattling on at 5 o’clock, about two and a half hours into a meeting we didn’t even need to have in the first place. What a fucking bell end that bloke was

CT- the new Mugwriter.

Why today, I mean there's nothing else going on.

Bitter sweet, memories, is all he's taking from stormont.

Fucking amateur was Frederick. Never shit in your bed, and never, ever, involve the Mrs.

Well you could have said hello

He's too busy shitting in plastic bags.

Nee haversack with your bait in? RIP @PaddockLad WC credentials.

I think an over the shoulder bag looks better tbh, I have a selection of stylish yet practical over the shoulder bullshit holders

Someone who can take a shot on from distance is much needed. I think Willock and Bruno have it in them but just aren't confident shooting from distance right now. Considering he's relatively raw and if in the same mould as Willock, price would be the main factor we'd be in for him over someone like Maddison who has consistenly proven he can unlock defences in this league. Hopefully we can get both:

Thought this was interesting (and relevant - unlike Dorris and Boris): https://www.electoralcalculus.co.uk/blogs/ec_consoc_20230321.html

It’s a bit of a disgrace that Johnson is still making the headlines to be honest. Highest monthly jump in food and alcohol prices in 40+ years. Interest rates set to go up again. And he’s getting this last hurrah in the public eye, still taking the piss, without a shred of humility or contrition. It shouldn’t even be a matter of debate that he’s deliberate lied to parliament. It doesn’t even fucking matter to him. He’s finished as far as the Tory party are concerned. It’s just another game

in fairness mind £2k for a season ticket when compared to a £150 per match day ticket is a saving of £850 the club are to be applauded.

I’ve started refusing meetings if I don’t believe I need to be there. If anything of importance comes up I will catch it in the minutes. It was getting beyond a joke, site meeting on one side of Manchester, then a teams meeting meaning I have to get across Manchester to our office. Then a design team meeting in the city centre. Nah, your alright.

I’m currently in a meeting discussing all the meetings we have.

He was a serial killer hunted for everywhere with police forces coming against a brick wall time and time again until some health and safety rep checked his abseiling equipment on a wall climbing day and noticed speckles of blood mixed with shit on his hands and safety clasps. After putting two and two together he watched him get in his HGV truck where he was skiving from work so then alerted the authorities, the previous thinking that he fantasised so hard that he needed to shit was now discarded as they realised the copious shitbags were just a mundane side effect of his job being away from the netty for long periods.

I will not have you ruffians impugning my reputation like this. I’ve already established that I now shit in the brass’ mouth then wrap her up, saving a bag and doing my bit for the planet.

and brass in bin bags

Very much “titty splitter” as Mrs F has beautifully coined it

Ffs Fish can we try and keep threads on topic? This has fuck all to say about jumpers or handbags.

I know - the fucking state of the shrubbery in the background would send Deano in to a spiral of unmade charity payments.

When did we sign Clare Balding?

and yet still not the worst in the squad

C'mon, it was obviously laundry day so he borrowed his missus' jumper, trackies and handbag to pop down the shops. Who amongst us has never done that?

Thats it?! Wyki man...are you ok?

I've seen Wee Bobby Thompson perform that joke live, and it was the Queen at a garden party at Buckingham Palace asking him if he wanted a cake or a meringue

This is like a passage from American Psycho, but in Newcastle.

Something interesting about Veiga is that although his position is attacking midfielder, this season he has played as a defensive pivot, but also as a winger and even in a couple of games as a center forward. And everywhere he has played well.

He really is a very amazing player and what can be said about him is based on very little experience. Let me explain: the boy is an unknown player who has exploded this year at Celta de Vigo. He is only 20 years old and he made his debut two seasons ago, but in the last two seasons he has barely added 200-300 minutes. This year, on the other hand, he is breaking it as an Attacking Medfield. He would say that the ideal position for him is where Willock is playing today. Also, I think they are players who can be similar in style. Veiga is undoubtedly the revelation player this season in the Spanish League. I am sure that if he was playing for Real Madrid or Barcelona he would already be called up with the senior team of Spain. He is a very physical player, but also very technical. He arrives very well from behind, breaking the line, but he also has a very good shot from distance.

"at least he's friendly"

Bernard Jenkins having his turn at eviscerating the floundering skin bag.

Mackem'd your post.

I’ve lived in the south of England for a long time….it’s inevitable that I now have a bit of the shandy drinker about me 🤷🏻‍♂️ NB: the bigger the bag, the more shit you end up throwing in there…..NG is perfect, it’s not too heavy . I don’t need many tools nowadays anyway, am more a service engineer/bullshitting slopey shouldered van driver nowadays… I might change the odd lightbulb now and then..

All throughout my childhood I was taught the alphabet only has 25 letters. I don’t know why.