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And the whole squad reenacting a post-match team photo in the background.

This just in: Sunderland AFC has announced an important new project at The Stadium of Light. Dubbed “The Big Shite Change”, fans are invited to come to the club to take part in an exciting clean up of all of the stadium’s toilet facilities. “No toilet will be left behind”, says Marketing Director Charlie Methven. “Encouraging fans to play their part in cleaning up the toilets is part of our policy of re-engaging with fans- as toilet fans ourselves, Donald and I know how important it is for supporters to have ownership of their own toilet facilities. Plus we’d like them to stop shitting on the floor and on their own seats”. Fans are invited to come along to the Stadium on 1 April to mingle with the staff and players you’ve never heard of and mop up some piss. Marigolds and SAFC themed bog brushes will be provided and can be kept as souvenirs and collectibles. ”What a great day out for the whole family!” said Methven. “Stewart and I really wish we could be there, honestly we do, but we’re really looking forward to seeing what our great fans can do for The Big Shite Change!”

You lot have some warped fantasies. P.S. Im erect.

Aye we can get the club to put a CUCKED video on NUFCTV with Eddie riding my lass and Tindall ripping the piss out of me as it's happening.

My lass fancies Eddie. She fucking hates football, and HATES it when Newcastle are on telly, but whenever he's on being interviewed, she'll comment on how intelligently he speaks compared to other managers/football people, how his responses are always thoughtful etc. Anyway, out in the pub with some friends, I'm talking to one of the blokes but I can hear her talking next to me and hear Howe's name mentioned. I'm thinking wtf is she talking about Eddie Howe for, and next thing you know the phone comes out and she's pulling up pictures of him and showing them to the other lasses going "do you not think...?" I interrupted and asked why she was showing pictures of Howe, and she goes "oh he's lovely, I was just telling them about him." Bizarre.

Still not the worst thing a mackem has done parked outside a Chinese restaurant.

Tindall would be at the other end taking the piss whilst giving the thumbs up with both hands as she's piping him off, nodding his head with a daft grin like Ben Dover.

I can arrange a meet up if you like? My brother in law was in his class at school, so was the mate who house sat for us when we went travelling. Another Mag from down here had Eddie in the youth football team him and his brother used to run. So if she’s keen I can get a message to him no probs mate 👍☺️

My lass fancies Captain Pugwash

Putting aside absolutely everything else tragic about that advertisement, why have him doing it on his own still in the stadium? Wouldn’t the point be that everyone else was doing it? Fucking hell

they just keep on giving

Knock on your tonight, it's MF. "Alreet HMHM. Is your missus in?"

Honestly, that thread about improving the SOL is hilarious (https://www.readytogo.net/smb/threads/investment-in-the-stadium.1601780/page-14). They are as deluded about that as they are about their league status and signing Dembele. I've been to every part of the the ground at SJP, attending hundreds of matches by now. Never noticed any problems with any of the toilets, ever. The toilets of the Platinum club and 1892 are up to the standard you would expect from the more premium end of the ticket scale. Their equivalent is the shitly named "Black Cats Bar" (referred to as BCB by this poster): I've some sympathy for that kid shitting on his seat now, I mean, you might as well.

Peter Withe.

It's a well known fact that a Sunderland fan founded Bilbao as well as many other clubs around the world but the Saudi led Magedia hushed it up as THEY COULDN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH. The Saudi led Magedia discussed amongst themselves how they were going to cover it up before getting off the M(ag)etro at Byker and going into Gregg's on Shields Road. FTM.

My boys team clinched their ice hockey league title today

To get himsel a BEWK, am telling ya!

Does he realise what stealth means? Mate, it’s a massive fucking white van

They reckon their bogs make Bobby Sands cell after a dirty protest look like a bedroom in a sandals brochure.

"E-I-E-I-E-I-O"

It's a self sustaining shit hole, marra. When their founding father walked back home from his shift where they used to build the boats, a ghostly voice added to his other ghostly monologue, 'If ya build it, marras will come but ya better have a fucking good cleaning company lined up for the state of the bogs. FTM'

“It makes you wonder what their homes are like” Erm, not really

He’s like a SoS turd

Robin Van Persie's got a son called Shaqueel Van Persie. How has this news only just reached me?!

Let me help out Kevin here. No. No. No, and the "a" in SAFC stands for Association. Yes.

You ate Nigella’s fish taco? Lucky bastard

You share that girl

If they wanted to do that they’d have had him going round random locations shouting BEWWW!

Budget cuts have obviously hit the PR team hard at the SOS

He thought it was the SoS and they were 2-0 down with 20 mins left

The Times today: (could easily have been a Mackem in the SoL)

I like that they’re framing it like it’s a problem with the stadium, that very clearly sounds like a problem with the match attending hoarde. As Renton says I’ve never walked into the bogs in SJP and saw shite, bog roll, and piss everywhere, absolute fucking tramps.

Don’t know why but I just remembered that mackem bloke that goes wild camping. But not in Snowdonia, the Scottish Highlands or the Lake District or places like that. He does it on roundabouts and under bridges and the like in Sunderland.

If it's good enough for John Redwood, it's good enough for Bruno.

I think it was @thebrokendoll saying Bruno seems to know the words to all the songs. It's very apparent from this that he knows "E-I-E-I-E-I-O" and absolutely nothing else. But he moves his mouth very enthusiastically for the rest of the song.

the occasional floater left in the pan

That Bilbao stuff cracks me up like. The only link is the one they invented back in the 90s when we played Bilbao in the Uefa Cup. I.e. the completely fictitious tale about a Wearsider founding the club and that being why they also play in red and white. They didn’t even fucking play in red and white when they were founded. Or to put it another way, the only link is because we played them in a European competition. What could be more mackem than that?

Why the fuck does Kevin even care? What a fucking plum

My Favourite quote: "So your saying there is a link and they could of got their colours from us. Interesting." 😁

funny name to give your johnson.

My lass fancies Captain America.

58% of statistics are made up anyway

The so-called accountants

I don’t generally eat much fish but I made Nigella’s hake tacos today as a starter and honest to god it was nearly as good as sucking on her fat tits. Absolutely superb.

It was ruled offside. What’s his fucking problem?