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I love them making up a nickname purely to gatekeep it. They need to get a grip like “daint enjoy the final youse are going to cos weeeyah went to the Callum Smith LDV vans rental centah community cup theeyah before yaz” fuckin plums, just enjoy your imaginary Barca tiki taka football.

Getting a bit dusty chez Fist. Took my my 12yr old laddie to the climbing wall today, he’s been cruising at 5b+ and managed a few wobbly 5c. On the way in today he said he was going for it, got there and his first route was a 6a, then another, then 6a+, another 6a then he finished with a 6b. Best part of it was he didn’t just scrape his way up them- he absolutely fucking styled his way up. I’m so proud of the little twat.

Nobody can accuse us of sportswashing with Murphy & Ciggy on the poster

Sure that wasn't hit by one of Longstaff's shots the other week?

Story Time. When I was working on the Cesspool of Light, that watery thing they built in the SOS car park, my brother-in-law, who I was working with at the time, became knobstruck with the married lass running the bait van in the SOS car park. After not too much persuasion from him, she ended up giving him free bacon butties, her unholy, chip-fat infused minge, and a healthy dose of herpes, which he duly passed on to his lass… … aye, he was a proper twat. Such a twat, in fact, that two of his three sisters have cut off contact with him, Mrs. F being one of them. She finally had enough of his shite in 2018. I was working in our new house, which had previously belonged to a family friend of theirs and stood empty for a year or so. We were moving in within a week or so and I was doing as much work before then as I could. I heard the back door open and footsteps coming in so jumped up and went to see who it was- Captain Cunt was stood there, chewing his fucking lips off and gibbering nonsense as he was coked out of his mind. (Think of the scene in Goodfellas when Ray Liotta is explaining how to cook a good ragu) Having barely seen him for the past few years, I was a tad surprised, hence my “ What the fuck are you doing here?” Since he was tweaking like a cunt, it took a while, but I eventually got it out of him that he’d “borrowed” the house keys a few months previously and had copies made, and was using the attic as his drug and drug money stash( aye, he was dealing and dipping). He’d been doing this previously at his mothers house up the street until she started questioning him, so he thought he’d use our empty (at the time) house instead. His plan, after we’d moved in, was to “visit” when we were out at work. Given the fucking grief he’s dished out over the years, it gave me some pleasure to take “his” keys and kick the fucker out. It turned out later that he was in this state as he was “on the run”, having been told to present himself at Wallsend pork farm to answer charges of domestic violence against his (still herpes infested) poor lass. Like I said- absolute cunt. Aaaaanyway, to get to the thoroughly disappointing denouement of this sordid saga, when Alex mentioned the bloke above as a “famous fan”, I didn’t have a fucking scooby who he was and thought “ Nah, it can’t be , can it?” Google fu tells me that although Captain Cunt was banging a SoS burger van-based mackem skank, it was a different SoS burger van-based mackem skank. Tune in next week for more tales of Skeetatch, Scabs, Skanks and Scag.

The through ball Gordon played was a sign of things to come, while Wilson isn’t slow I think if that was Isak Aguerd was never getting back to make the tackle.

He did fuck all in an attacking sense too and made no effort to find space when we had possession down the left. Willock was usually more advanced and covering helping Burn too. You can excuse him not tracking back. You can excuse him trying stuff that’s not coming off but keeping out the way is just totally unacceptable tbh

We missed Bruno today like. There’s no one else can do the sort of job Rice does for West Ham. ASM was an absolute disgrace. I know things don’t always come off for wingers but apart from being lazy as fuck he just hid most of the time. I think he’s already thinking about who he’ll be playing for next season. I think Gordon will start next match. He looked lively when he came on. Isak might’ve made the difference too. Draw was a fair result like.

That’s him added to your Book of Cunts then.

Listen, you missed out on the cash but you won the respect of the forum. You can't put a price on that.

Two for joy in the garden earlier

Basically, world football owes it's existence to Sunderland supporters as they've either founded or managed early on half of the globe's football clubs and even to this day, most of the world's football club fans have a huge admiration and respect for Sunderland AFC whilst simultaneously holding Newcastle United in disdain. In fact, in remote South American villages their holy bible is actually a 1885 copy of the Roker Review. True story. FTM.

I'm in complete agreeance with this and shall be using the word from now on when the situation calls. Bravo, @Monkeys Fist, bravo.

How this thread feels when you make a post: How this thread feels when you read it:

If we'd started spending like this, the league would have convened a meeting and introduced new rules by tea time. It's the exceptionalism that gets me - I'm sure others including us could have done it but for them to do it with barely a shrugged shoulder seems wrong.

This is my take. He was poor today but honestly the criticism on here is too extreme. The whole team was poor for long periods today with a few notable exceptions, ASM was not to blame for everything. But ASM is very much a square peg in a round hole now. As we have transformed from a counter attacking side to ne which dominates possession, this was always going to happen. I don't see any place for him now other than an impact sub if we are under the cosh and need to score against a more dominant side. He's a luxury not so much that we can't afford, but one which has no function. He will definitely be gone next transfer window and I doubt he will start another game for us.

It hits as a disappointing performance based on the result. Hopefully another week of training can get a bit better flow going in midfield. If we look at things relative to the opposition more so than the standards of our previous performances then I don't think we were miles away from a performance that deserved a win really. Wilson had two really good chances to win the game. And the goal we conceded was slightly unlucky perhaps although it should've been met at the front post by a defender before getting all the way across the box. But that sort of thing happens at set pieces from time to time. Anyway, taking the upcoming two opposition into consideration then I don't think we need to do too much drastically different to beat the two next packs of bottom half shit. I hope Gordon starts for ASM. We certainly looked much much better when he came onto the pitch. His passing was sharp, he plays direct and he's fucking absolutely rapid. It goes against Howe's general ethos of making players earn their spot in the side to start him so soon but really ASM has earned his way straight back onto the bench after today. I also think we missed Isak's 20-30 minute impact off the bench as he's been wonderful in most appearances since returning from injury. I'm really looking forward to him pushing his way into the starting XI because he looks on another level to Wilson. So either from the bench or starting, it'll be important to have Isak back for next week. Onward and upward.

Definitely feels like the second half of the season is gonna be a harder slog than the first. This is shocking after some of his heroics, but I'd be tempted to get Targett back in the team at some point. I fucking love Dan Burn but we need a left back who offers something going forward.

@thebrokendollis just showing off now.

Fingers crossed he doesn’t.

As irritating as it'd be for Everton to get decent again, it'd be an even more damning indictment of Fat Frank, so that's a plus

“Cuntstruck” was a common colloquialism in my younger day. Usually used in reference to a kid finding true love for the first time with an actual young woman, rather than with Peter Beardsley/Kevin Keegan/Gazza etc etc

That handshake is wetter than an otter’s pocket.

And all because I questioned someone getting a tattoo 🙂 And it wound up Gemmill

Chelsea

Gemmill, about two pages ago…

Wilson should be burying that

Maxi is Maxi, he’s not an Eddie Howe player as long as I’ve got a hole in my arse and you can dissect his performance today to the nth degree if it makes you feel better but this is our league record since the restart and the cunt has barley played before tonight

Well it would have been nice to see how we did with proper owners, but there we have it. Been nice knowing you all.

I agree. It is embarrassing but there are players out there that don’t suit a pressing system. He is almost a throwback where his ability has probably carried teams throughout his life. Can you imagine Ginola, Robert or Ben Arfa joining in a team press? anyway. I’m equally pissed off with him. I was shouting at the screen as well. I just think he won’t be able to adjust to this passing first and attack his full back when the time is right.

Ah well, at least we've hit the magic 40 points!

Rice has played well today broken up our flow in midfield really well. He'd look nice in a Newcastle shirt.

Fucking Longstaff is a midfield LEGEND!

Yeah i didn’t actually listen to it tbf

I heard a discussion on talksport, (bear with me here ) which piqued my interest to see what rationale would be in a sportswashing discussion between West Ham fan, Martin Samuel and I strongly suspect, Tottenham fan, Darren Lewis. Lewis opened up saying he was rooting for us in the SF v Southampton as he wanted to see us get to Wembley and face Man U and then thought to himself, Have I been sportswashed? They had a general discussion obviously not liking the Saudi Arabia human rights but admitting that we're not really bigging up SA so far and it's just been about NUFC, the resurgence, the feel good factor, the fact we're still playing a lot of the old players, we haven't spent billions on M'Bappe etc and saying, if anything, the Saudis would be under the spotlight more than they would've been had they not bought NUFC, ditto the Qataris hosting the WC which they fully admit to fully enjoying when they were there. The show, the host and the journalists were fully on board with the tricky subject of sportswashing and our part in it but after they'd thought about it, talked about it, looked at sportswashing in the past going back to Russia, the US, Olympics in Nazi Germany etc they realised it's been happening for years and they actually thought we, the fans, had fuck all to do with anything, the three of them did a U-turn I believe as the premise at the start wasn't the outcome at the end as I genuinely got the feeling it started off as a bit of a hatchet job but the reality dawned on them at the end. Nobody's really bigging SA up other than one or two knackers on twitter or on the telly iyam. I think it was like them entering a maze and eventually working their way out.

a fine yarn. I trust you took his stash as well as his key

Reader, they did not win. Due, among other things, to Lydon's vocals being... let's say "suboptimal" 😬

Worth the read for knobstruck alone.

Still doing the tortuous purple prose too I see

Give me half an hour and I'll give them all a ring.

Imagine a mackem trying to pronounce “Kate Adie”

Are they twigging that the whole of the USA has switched allegiances to Wrexham now?

I think it's what michael palin's pontius pilate would call a well known sylvester stallone character.

You're obviously not familiar with Wembley marra.

What the fuck is 'Wembo'?