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'Wow, he must've been a massive MLF.' 'Aye. Sad story, ee was killed by the head choppers at Newcastle. He went forra job as a driver but when ee saw paintings of mag players on the cab he told them he could never tak the job. Als of a sudden a big swarthy skunk came out with a scimitar and took iz head off with one swipe of his sword.' 'fucking hell. So a mag murdered him?' 'well err, he knocked the mag out with a oner fust after the mag spat at wimmins and bairns and after the skunk was knocked out ee reached for iz sword while unconscious and killed poor Billy when ee wasn't looking the fucking unwashed, mag coward. FTM. RIP.' 'Aye. FTM. RIP.'

'You're here for the logistics role?' 'Aye' 'And you've got experience driving HGVs? 'Aye' 'Ok, let's start. Name?' 'Billy Marra. FTM.' 'Is that with two R's, Billy?' 'Stick your job up your arse. Probably a Mag anarrl ah bet who payents his trucks with scum playaz?'

I fucking HATED him for Everton but he looks a good player. I don't know why the fuck people get worked up about the cost either. It's not your money and players cost what they cost. So fucking shut your face. The management team have more than earned the right to sign whoever the fuck they like. Once they've got a few fuckups under their belt, we can start asking questions.

Now that one I can do a crap MS Paint job on.

He has probably just got a new hair colour or got his father a job as Joelinton’s personal Uber-driver.

Aye, he went through every part of the application process only to then tell them to fuck off to show what a MLF he is. That’s exactly what happened instead of him seeing one of those and inventing that story

Trippier extends contract

@Dr Gloom I can’t find the thread where I basically said Jewish folk should talk more about Israel and Palestine, and accused Baddiel of never doing it. As I said in the PM I sent I’ve now read his book and am now aware of the various blind spots those on the left have where anti semitism is concerned. Apologies.

I think Gordon will play a lot over the rest of the season, likely on the left side. He’s a target we’ve clearly been tracking since the summer but the price was too high then, all of our long term/well scouted targets have hit so far which makes me trust that Gordon will be a good fit. Like anyone I don’t want to really judge him based on the performances I’ve seen because I think Lampard is a fucking joke of a manager, it’s like rating the players under Bruce tbf - so I’m happy to wait and see how he does for us but I’m excited we’ve brought another player in. I don’t give a flying fuck what the Everton fans opinions are on him tbh.

I don’t recall Dyche ever coming in mid season an doing a firefighting job. Despite looking like a firefighter.

@Monkeys Fist, would you drive a rig which had Reidsy, Ballsy, Phillipsy, and Stewartsy's mugs plastered over the cab or would you tell your prospective employer to fuck off marra?

A haricut should be the first order of business for the little prick. Oh, our little prick I mean.

Alright, Luke Edwards

Howe will channel his shithowesery.

Bruno's real agent..... 'The Rio Steakhouse connection.' (Ah seen 'im in there once. Ahm canny sure he recognised iz, like).

His lass has started taking up the back door after having the baby

I'm quite busy at work so can we just pretend I did a crap MS Paint job and made the flowers on top of the car say "NONCE"? Ta.

Appropriate reg plate

Educating yourself and adjusting your position accordingly? It'll never catch on.

That's the end of DCL in a skirt.

Bielsa has turned Everton down so they’ve turned to Dyche. Two managers at the complete opposite ends of the spectrum so nice to see there’s a real plan in place of the type of man they want

If we get Maddison, I’ll get some madman and ket in for the post EFL cup final after party at mine

A haircut is the least of his problems. Oh, and let the shithousing be turned up to 11.

I hope he joins the coaching staff when he's done playing. He seems like a proper leader.

Hopefully Trippier will stay on in a coaching capacity after he retires if that's something he's interested in, at least until he completes his badges if he isn't already doing them. He's clearly an immense influence on the team with his professionalism and general attitude.

We could have got Stewart for that, what are we thinking?

Totally sanguine about this. Sounds a lot of money for what I’ve seen from him but I’m not stumping it up. If EH and the lads want him I’m happy enough with that, he’s a better option and improves the squad (albeit different positions) when compared to Wood who basically knocks 15mill off his price.

Where’s this crack about Maxi leaving coming from? If someone says fucking Italian papers, I’m dishing out jaw looseners

As if people weren’t looking forward to next season enough already

Alreet Susie Dent!

And Catts for me like

Not sure what people are complaining about. He’s a scouse shithouse, they’re fuckin experts man , remember we were the club who welcomed Joey Barton and look what a success that turned out to be….he barely played whilst injured, got thrown in jail for beating up a child and then got sent off at Anfield when we were fighting relegation

I reckon he's a Murphy replacement, I think this is us building a 16 man matchdy squad with more speed able to come on later in the game.

With this kid, I think our shithousing and cuntfoolery might actually see one of our players get punched

Sounds as difficult as CT trying to view his cock over his 32 inch waistline.

He's just went back to collect some stuff.

🥳

Jesus Christ, just because @Dr Gloom is no longer Captain of the H.M.S. Pissypants, that doesn't mean anybody else has to take the helm. I'm 99% sure the the ASM rumours are horseshit, Wood going for £20m if he achieves his very achievable targets, is very good business. We're just starting off, lets not get frantic just because we're not signing Brunos every window, eh?

sean casey must have hacked his account

Probably. That would make much more sense as there’s just a mural / no company logo. Proper fucking Walter Mittys on RTG. Also if a Sunderland firm did similar to what they claim you can guarantee they’d think it was brilliant.

I would drive one, yes. In to a wall.

I heard Bruno was car surfing, Teen Wolf style. In a letterman jacket with a big B on it.