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Tiny balls, that’s his problem. He looked at our situation and his balls shrivelled. Eddie Howe walked in with his balls in a wheelbarrow and hasn’t looked back.

It’s as if a satnav suddenly got elected to run the country

Meanwhile on wearside

They should just get a cat.

What a stunning win that was. Just 3 more games to navigate before hopefully heading off into the winter break in a similar league spot. Come back after with ASM and Isak hopefully fully fit and who knows where we will end up this season. Its also going to make it so much easier to attract quality players to the club. Eddie is a God

According to Soonlan fans last year Emery was shit anyway....guess what his stock with them is now Dunces

CT - the new Mug Righter* * spelt with Boldon accent.

Sorry, I fell asleep on the 3rd paragraph.

The absolute fewm on display there

At least we can all agree how amusing it was for Johnson to cut short his holiday, fly half way across the world to regain the keys to No.10 and then fail miserably.

Sorry, all ... gushy 'proud parent' post coming up, but with good reason. What makes you proud of your kids? Perhaps it's a school report, or exam results or a sporting achievement. Whilst all truly commendable, let me give you the following: 1 loaf white bread 1 pint semi-skimmed milk 1 cottage pie 1 chicken tikka masala 1 bar dairy milk 1 bag walker chilli sensations 1 bag fruit gums 1 bag drumstick squashies This is what my 17-year-old, without hints, prompts or question bought and delivered to me off his own back simply because his dad was house bound with Covid, and he wanted to help. Academic and sporting achievements are of course important, but these are real human values and qualities. I've never been prouder of my boy than I am today.

It was a foregone conclusion Emery would go to Villa having managed VILLAreal and SeVILLA. Villa-Bingo

I love him so much I’ve made a Miggy Mug

It's a nein from Tommy Twocca.

Sunak will be the UK’s shortest serving PM.

I've just realised @Gemmill is going to have to be in the thread title till we have a bad result

Truss is 47. You were 47 when you were 30 man.

Can we stretch the analogy to Sunak and the first round of the leadership contest being like Gary Bennett’s own goal v Swindon? Or is that just racist?

People bithcing about Newcastle winding the clock down are misdirecting their frustrations at their own team. If Spurs had taken their chances, or had found a route around Botman and Schar, if Lloris hadn't surrendered possession easily, if their players were better on the ball, if they created more high quality chances, then Newcastle wouldn't be killing the game off. As the away team, against a team targeting the CL spots, you'd expect them to dominate possession, spend most their time in the attacking 3rd, and create a good number of good chances. We had comparable possession ((53 - 47%), more touches in the final 3rd (132 - 176) , better pass completion (78-79%), and although they had more xG (1.57 - 1.13) 0.5 of that came from Kane's goal. Their Market Value (from Transfermarkt) was £426m for the match day squad. Ours was £287m. That's a £138m difference. Antonio Conte has won 1 Serie B, 4 Scudetto, 1 Premier League, 2 Supercoppa, 1 Fa Cup. Eddie Howe has won the EFL Championship, once. If you're a Spurs fan complaining that Newcastle United time wasted their way to victory a) you didn't watch the game and b) your team should have found a way to win anyway.

All the best getting the public on board with your "difficult decisions", Rishi.

"Make sure you clean them properly Jack boy"

So this guy is living in th middle east.

I think I may open a computer keyboard repair shop in the Sunderland area.

40 minutes ago Mordaunt posted that. She's going for it. Not sure about the skin stuff cos I don't see colour, but you lot are racists, so tell me: was this intentional?

Gives him more time to concentrate on his modelling career.

You get through some brews lad. Are you sleeping okay?

Is Almiron going to have a goal of the month competition by himself?

Is that right? In the fucking POOLE Gazette was it? Nice of you to share it with the forum anyway. Unbelievable.

CT was blatantly into those QVC/Bid upTV type channels when they first came out. 'What we have here is a Miguel Almiron cup with the words of the song the famous toon army sing for him, it's amazing value at £14.99 retail price, however you can get it here for £11.99. And if the camera can just pan in here......look, it's made from actual pottery manufactured in Stoke on Trent. It's also......." 'I'll buy it! I'll buy it! What's the phone number, Mrs CT!?!? Quick, before someone else bids on it!!!"

It’s a nah from me

“Turn right… turn right again… keep turning further right… fuck the poor”

To be fair that was the only shot they could concoct where he didn’t look like a small child

As if. I've completely mammarised that photo.

That's nice for the players, but can the Longstaffs not just share one?

The difference with Wilson is he puts in a shift for us, scores goals and doesn't bang on about how much he loves his former clubs. Fans will give players plenty of leeway if they turn up on a Saturday

"Unintentional"

They don’t last long Little shit does point out they look like my arms when I’ve been out in the sun too long.

Happy Monday everyone!

Was he fucking walking it?