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He’s middle aged, he woke up for a piss

@Howmanheymanis never gonna go for the stadium name change. Or is he....? INTERIOR 3:13AM ST. JAMES PARK BOARD ROOM CEO Darren Eales and Chief Commercial Officer Peter Silverstone sit at the Board table. Ties loosened, empty pizza boxes strewn across the table. They have clearly been working for hours on an unsolvable problem. EALES: It's no good Peter. There's nothing we can come up with to solve the HMHM problem. The guy (gumph) is unmovable. SILVERSTONE: We can do it Darren, we just need to... Silverstone leaps from his chair, grabbing a nearby flip chart. He pulls the cap off with his teeth, spitting it to the Boardroom floor and begins frantically writing. EALES: You're wasting your time, Peter! We can't- Silverstone, deep in concentration, brow furrowed, holds up his spare hand in a silencing gesture. He stops writing, and steps back to survey his work. EALES: What is it? Damn it Peter, don't keep me in suspense! Silverstone spins the flip board round, revealing his perfect script: SILVERSTONE: The Newcastle United Yes That's Fucking Right There's More Than One United Has Been Forever Although You Wouldn't Know It Watching Football Coverage Since the 90s Speaking of Which Fuck Sky Sports Especially That Bitter Cunt Souness And Don't Even Get Me Started on the BT Sport Pundits Especially On a Night Liverpool Are Playing SAUDI ARAMCO ARENA @ ST JAMES PARK. Eales rises from his seat, openly weeping and embraces Silverstone. EALES: Peter, you big glorious guy, you solved the HMHM puzzle. SILVERSTONE: That's nice Darren, but don't let him hear you call me guy. EALES: You're right, I forgot. END SCENE

Soo close.… ”GET IN THE TAXI, ITS CHINESE MOUSE TIME!”

Think it’s probably something undiagnosed tbh

"Who lives in a back garden with a leather settee like thiiiis...."

You're welcome.

He's been told to write down his dreams by his therapist as soon as he wakes up while it's fresh in his mind.

He needs someone to give him an ultimatum, resign or Terese Coffey'll sit on your face (after an hour in a sauna).

Then tip in six buckets of Kwik Save chip shop curry sauce, and an authentic South Asian feast is yours!

Fatty meats are best cooked low and slow. I reckon 2 weeks at gas 4 and he’ll be ready.

He’s clearly dropped a tab of BONG!

He’s a cunt. He can get to fuck tbh

craig, please. i've been playing helicopter with my wang out for months now

Crispiness Tree

I like how Gaugin says alreet btw @Monkeys Fist anyway… The Indian restaurant I used to work for was so secretive I had to sign a legal agreement that I wouldn’t share the flatbread recipe Just their standard naan disclosure agreement.

The courts ruled that it would have been annulled because of irregularities IF it had been a binding referendum (i.e. it was bent), it was an advisory referendum and as such the court could not adjudicate to annul the result of something that wasn't binding. The government (ERG) made an advisory referendum "binding" for their own ends after the fact.

How dare you. You know he only uses Lloyd Grossman

Bruce is proof of the adage that it isn’t what you know, it’s who you know that counts. I don’t know who he knows, but I’m certain he knows fuck all about managing a football club.

The second best thing is kill them if you did.

So, to save the planet we have to become vegan virgins? Kill me now.

This was you. Up early delivering t’ hovis

That's fair enough actually, ok. Sorry

Don't throw sodium chloride at people. That's a salt.

Sorted for the Palace game at the very least. Any mid week game means having to put a holiday in for the day after mind

*Couldn’t get Kwik Save curry, used 13 gallons of Aldi Lamb Bhuna sauce instead.

Yeah, but with a longer recovery period and added dressing room contretemps. Honestly think their biggest issue has been recruitment. Playing that style in all competitions means you're going to burn through players like three ply Andrex after 6 pints of bhuna. But they've only signed 4 first team players in the last 2 seasons. 9 of their first team are over 30, their midfield's average age is 27.6 and that's distorted by 19yr old Harvey Elliot.

I worked in government on sustainability stuff in the noughties. I was at the time advocating for adaptation as well as mitigation, but it’s harder to profit by providing resilience. It was obvious, even under Labour, we had fuck all chance to turn it around. Sustainability issues were almost always the least weighted factor in any project. Sometimes 10%, often 5. Then the Tories & Lib Dems (“Greenest Government Ever”) came in and slashed all the green budgets. I walked away. Despite my degree, beliefs and hopes, the money machine is simply not for turning. It’s laudable to try and fix things, at any level, but it ain’t going to happen. Pissing in the unseasonably hot wind. The future is programmed now. Buckle up Susan, try and be a decent person, enjoy your life and eat less cows, you fat heffer.

It’s a high steaks gamble tbh.

But it didn’t, it was bent as fuck and if it had been a binding referendum it would have been annulled per the courts.

Not a downer at all, just tend to err on the side of cautious optimism. Further on that side than many of us, rightfully so with our history. It's actually great to see you, and others, letting our hair down and predicting results befitting the performances we've experienced of late. Also, you didn't apologise for anything on that post nor this one... so I've still got my eye on you. 🧐

Man United (a) - Fuck knaas Everton (h) - Fuck knaas Spurs (a) - Fuck knaas Villa (h) - W Southampton (a) - Fuck knaas Chelsea (h) - Fuck knaas

Most footballers are thick as fuck and pretty lazy beyond training and playing. So it follows that most pundits are too. They don'tt have the intelligence and don't make the effort to properly study what they are talking about. It's telling that even sky sports are getting podcasters and the like onto shows to talk about their teams more and more. They've discovered these people know a lot more about what they are talking about. Yes they might not have the inside the dressing room knowledge that Robbie Savage and Gabby Agbonlahor have, but they're also not complete cretins who can barely count to the number they used to wear on their backs. They look at stats and watch countless games involving their own teams as well as others. They also see how the game is changing to be much more based on statistics. The regular pundits, even the younger ones, come from an era once removed from this and simply don't get it. I can see a time in the not too distant future that the traditional ex pro pundit is phased out unless they can show themselves to be a lot more on the ball than ones we've had for the last twenty years.

Can just imagine it Brucey: "Alreet Erik, how fit are you?" Pieters: "Not at all. Think im going to retire as haven't had any offers." Brucey: "Don't be silly, ill sort you out with a 12 month contract" Pieters" "Thanks Steve. We still on for the family dinner on Thursday?"

Damn you, anti-growth coalition member Liz Truss!

I missed the interview, I've downloaded it on BBC sounds and will give it a listen when I get the chance so having no knowledge of what he said I can only say that Gemmill is right, I wouldn't want to change it unless they've a way around it where it's basically SJP and the sponsor doesn't get mentioned. It's being penny wise, pound foolish in the long run, we'll get where we want to be sooner or later and SJP as a name will have far more attraction than the Aramco/whatever stadium. If we want to be a global giant we need to start acting like one and I can only imagine the howling and gnashing of teeth in the media, let alone the fans, if Anfield and Old Trafford changed to a sponsor. A new stadium is a get out of jail card and is probably fair game but you're damaging 'the brand' imo by doing it if we stay at SJP. We should be in a position with the money to come, the professionals being appointed to key positions, gradually improving the side and European football will get us there so doing this is an admission we're a bit two bob, we're not, we're Newcastle United and we play at St. James' Park. 👍

Aye, but to be able to suddenly knock up a screenplay Must do a line straight after his piss.

What did we do as a country to deserve this Frost cunt btw? Still absolutely stinking the place up with his nonsense opinions despite publicly humiliating himself on a loop every time he opens his gob since 2016. I seriously hope that there's a reckoning coming in this country for these people that have spent the best part of the last decade gaslighting the public.

He's been a vital cog in our midfield with his energy, link up play and helping to transition from defense to attack. He's multi-faceted enough with the ball to attract defensive attention that can open it up for others and his passing is pretty reliable. Not standing out in particular but you can't have every player in the spotlight at once. We've also not seen him look like he's forgotten how to walk/run in ages which I think must have resulted from that persistent toe injury that he was playing with.

I sympathise with the thrust of this because it matches my thinking on other issues but for Brexit I can't make it fly. We did know Cameron would bail and run if he lost, it was a matter if some debate prior to the event and there was no way he would want to preside over the greatest calamity and omnishables of recent British history. As Renton said, there were no good Brexits. There was one that was Brexit in name only, which would have been more or less the same other than being humiliating and removing us from all decision making within the EU. It would have been strategically pointless but less damaging. People got the only Brexit that really made any sense from the perspective of the vote, but one they hadn't been honestly told about the damage of. As for the division - maybe you're right from a pragmatic standpoint - Starmer certainly seems to think so. But by the same token as you lamented the fact that the truth is not told in politics, I lament that truth cannot be accepted by the emotionally fragile. I don't see why I should bend for the egos of those who are demonstrably wrong about the virtues of this calamity, but who refuse to see this due to their own insecurity. If that causes division, I would contend that division comes from their denial of the truth, not my refusal to indulge them. Pet peeve, sorry.

Some good news lads.

Some good news

Aye, it’s easy being mr jovial when you’re winning. I thought he was a monumental cunt anyway like but it’s good to see the mask slipping. It’s a fairly innocuous question as well

CTed YP

I'd heard we were appointing this lad.